Love In Every Moment
by XQR
Summary: After Isa is recompleted he goes to live with Lea, Roxas and Xion. Being human again isn't a smooth ride for him, and he has a lot to learn about emotions, especially the more complicated ones like love. LeaIsa
1. Starting Road

A/N: If Nomura is going to give me one line about some girl Lea and Isa were searching for then I'm not going to write her into this fic so he can shit all over me when the next game comes out. So in this fic that line was never uttered. Other than that I do try to adhere to canon. Please enjoy this fic that started out with me claiming not to ship these two (this fic is essentially me realising I ship them haha).

The first person he sees when he wakes is Lea. It shouldn't be a surprise, but the sight of the redhead makes him feel like someone is squeezing his heart. It's been so long since he felt something so powerful that he can't help but clutch at his chest.

"Are you okay?" Lea asks – that bright smile he'd woken to now a face full of concern.

Isa nods as he sits up. He'd been waiting days for the chance to have a proper conversation – not just answering questions posed by Ansem and Ienzo. And how strange it was to have Zexion fussing over him… He seemed suited to Somebody-life, just as Lea did.

"How are you feeling?" Lea asks when it seems Isa doesn't know where to start.

But he doesn't know how to answer either. His mind feels like a whirling storm most of the time he's awake, and more than once it's occurred to him that he could always give into the darkness again and just live as a Nobody, but without answering to any form of Xehanort this time.

Before he can put this into words for Lea he feels his emotions pricking at his eyes as they overwhelm him. Quickly he hides his face and tries to pull himself together, but any hopes he had of recovery are dashed when he feels a hand on his shoulder and Lea telling him 'it's okay.'

_It's not okay._ I'm_ not okay._ _The things I've done were not okay._ And like that he's crying for the first time in a decade.

Lea had expected something like this, but maybe not _this._ Isa who never cried, Isa who always made fun of him for being a cry-baby, _Saïx_ who had only days ago called him out. But Lea was prepared, his time as a Somebody having taught him a few things he'd forgotten about feelings. His hesitation is momentary before he puts his arms around Isa and hugs him tight, able to feel the way Isa's shoulders shrug as he struggles against letting out louder sobs.

His embrace isn't met with immediate rejection which pleases him; it helps to remind him that Isa isn't Saïx. It's about a minute later, when Isa realises Lea isn't going to let go, that Isa gives himself fully into the hug, hands creasing Lea's shirt as he holds on tight.

Lea waits for as long as Isa needs, wondering if there is anything he could say to help. He thinks about the last time he saw Isa cry, but that was physical pain – something he could at least tend to. This was the first time he'd ever witnessed Isa burdened with such emotion.

"Everything…" Isa finally manages.

"Huh?"

"Everything, Lea." He pulls back, wiping at Lea's shirt where his tears have dampened the fabric. "I'm feeling everything."

"That's… That's a lot to feel."

Isa nods. "It is."

Lea is tempted to make a reference to the stone cold Nobody he used to be, but thinks better of it. He was sure the last person Isa wanted to talk about was Saïx.

"Jealously, regret, remorse, guilt, a seemingly endless list of sad emotions I never thought I'd feel again. And neither did I ever imagine I would feel them in such magnitude." Isa takes a breath, seeming to compose himself as he speaks, "Yet, I also feel…happiness. Perhaps I'd even go as far as to label it as 'joy.'"

_Ah! Something to work with!_ "What's making you happy?"

"You. Ienzo and Ansem. People seem to be making me happy. Despite everything I did… Even though I know each of you loathed me for various reasons, so far everyone has treated me with kindness." Isa pauses to reflect on how Ienzo had lingered for a minute after his usual check-up just to offer support if Isa needed it. Ienzo didn't have to offer anything more than he was already doing, and yet he did. "I don't deserve it."

"Isa, we know what you did. For Roxas and Xion. You _do_ deserve every good thing that comes to you."

Isa looks away, not sure he can stay composed if he looks at Lea. "Perhaps the others see that as reason enough to be amicable, but you… I treated you like shit, Lea. I certainly haven't earnt the privilege of your company today."

Lea gives him a playful shove that forces Isa to look his way. "It's only thanks to _you_ that _all_ my best friends are back today."

"Yes, and with that act I can maybe feel like I've atoned for something. Does one act really equal everything I did before?"

"It's enough for me."

Isa briefly flicks his eyes at Lea, long enough to realise that Lea means what he said. "Why?" he whispers. His mind is whirling as he pieces it together; this is forgiveness. "Why don't you hate me?" Perhaps he hadn't meant to say it aloud, but that is the conclusion he always assumed. _I don't deserve to have you back._

"Because you're one of those best friends I mentioned." It's that simple for Lea.

"I don't deserve this. Not yet. I haven't done enough." His expression hardens as his fists clench.

Lea notices the change from sadness to anger, placing a reassuring hand on Isa's shoulder in an attempt to ground him. "Don't worry, buddy, there are a couple more things I'd like to ask of you." That seems to release a bit of tension.

"Anything. As soon as they allow me to, that is."

Ienzo appears in the doorway, as if on-cue. "That will be soon – Lea's agreed to look after you."

"I don't need looking after!" Isa scoffs.

"Perhaps not, but we feel much better releasing you knowing you'll have emotional support." Ienzo steps into the room. "But maybe Lea isn't the person for that if he's going to make you cry."

Isa wipes his eyes. "It was nothing."

"Nothing to be ashamed of," Ienzo assures him. "It's a very healthy way to release emotion, and I'm sure reporting back to Ansem with this will only hasten your departure."

"Why are you keeping him here?" Lea asks.

"Isa is the first person we've seen that has been recompleted twice – and will allow us to run tests."

Lea laughs, "Yeah, can't imagine Vexen would allow himself to be a lab rat."

"Even," Ienzo corrects him. "But also the difference is that Even came back to our side more willingly. Ansem is also interested in a few more things regarding Saïx's role among the 13 darknesses which he hopes Isa's heart may have some answers to."

**333**

It's several long weeks in Radiant Garden's castle before Isa is picked up by Lea. He half wishes they hadn't told him because it makes him impatient beyond belief. Isa had always thought himself patient, but maybe he'd just never had to wait for something he desired so much. Ienzo suggests he go out and explore the town now it's been done-up again, but Isa doesn't want to. Part of him fears the memories he'd uncover by wandering the streets. Deep down he knows memories of outside the castle will be better than the ones of inside, but at the same time he doesn't want to remember them alone; he'd rather have Lea with him to reminisce together.

A few days after Lea's visit he asks about when Lea will come back for him. Even gives him a vague 'when he's ready' answer. After a week passes – Isa keeps careful track of the days now he has something to live for now – he asks Ienzo the same question. He gets the same answer. However, Ienzo offers more, explaining that they're still settling into their new home and life. That's when Isa realises he's not just moving in with Lea. Looking back he doesn't understand how he didn't realise that _of course_ Roxas and Xion are living with Lea too. Ienzo says they're going to school and Lea's waiting to confirm his job in town before Isa joins them.

Now Isa's impatience is sated for several days. He spends more time holed up in his room – just when he'd started eating breakfast with Dilan and Aeleus he suddenly disappears back into solitude and raises concerns. Sure, he and Xion had made amends recently, but he has doubts about how much she remembers of her time in the Organization when those amends were made. She had fought alongside him against Lea at first… Had she forgotten? Would she hate him again now?

As for Roxas… He was the one that made Isa anxious about living with them. He couldn't remember a time when they'd ever really got on. The word 'tolerate' comes to mind. The last time they saw each other Saïx was going berserk, watching as Xemnas tried to kill… The memory is painful. Before that the last time he saw Roxas was when he was trying to stop him from leaving the Organization. Again, not one of their finest moments of tolerating each other. He could only hope Roxas didn't have any of Sora's memories of him. _But surely Lea's asked Roxas about this?_ _It must be fine, right? Or maybe Roxas has been forced to accept it? _

Every day Isa dwells on how Roxas and Xion will react to him. He thinks about how they must be having the time of their lives now they can live together and be best friends all day long without people like himself and Xemnas watching over them. It must be nice, he thinks. Before he knows it two weeks have passed since Lea came to visit, and Isa worries that Lea has retracted his offer – maybe due to Roxas outright refusing to have Isa in the house – and that the others haven't told him yet.

Two weeks and four days have passed. He asks Ansem directly. It's not that he doesn't trust the others to tell him the truth, but he worries that they themselves haven't been informed. Ansem chuckles as if it's nothing to fret over, as if his every waking moment hasn't been focused on the fact Lea will get him out of this prison. It's not a prison – they say he can go outside after all. In fact nothing is stopping him from portaling out of here – nothing but himself and a fear he's been able to ignore in favour of thinking about his new life in Twilight Town. Ansem tells him Lea will come on Saturday, and Isa knows that's two days away. He'd been theorising that if Lea gets a job that he's more likely to come on a weekend, and so every Saturday and Sunday had been as long as the rest of the week as he sat there wondering if that would be the day.

Isa finds it difficult to sleep the night before – a mixture of nerves and excitement keeps him up. But in the end it's for the best because he wakes late in the morning when Even knocks to make sure he's still alive, and tells him Lea will be there in an hour. Of course Isa has already packed up the few belongings he has, the most important being a journal given to him by Ienzo. He looks at the clock and sees that Lea's meant to be here before noon. For a moment Isa doesn't believe it, but if Even's right then he needs to start getting ready.

The hour passes slowly once he's out of the shower and breakfasted. There isn't much to do but make sure he hasn't forgotten anything and then look out the window again. How would Lea be arriving? Will Roxas and Xion be with him? The clock strikes 12 and Isa finds himself tapping his fingers on the windowsill. _Any moment now…_ He looks at the door, hoping it'll open.

The minutes pass and he wonders if Lea is running late. It wouldn't be the first time. He still hasn't seen anything from his window to suggest he's arrived, but what if he has? Is Even or someone keeping him somewhere else in the castle? Lea was always chatty – what if he's at the gate trying to get a few words out of Aeleus? Isa wants to go and search for him, but what if he misses Lea on his expedition? It's so easy to pass people in this castle, and the last thing he wants is to miss Lea.

The knock at the door almost makes Isa jump out of his skin. He can feel his heart trying to escape his ribcage as he calls for his visitor to come in. It takes every ounce of restraint not to rush over and squeeze all the air from Lea – it's like seeing an angel come to deliver him. He wants Lea to know how much he appreciates all this, but he doesn't want to seem desperate and not like himself.

Lea's face doesn't mirror Isa's own beaming one. "Jeez, didn't you guys give him any other clothes?"

"We did," Ienzo says. "But no instructions on how to dress."

Isa feels embarrassed as he realises this _is_ a bit strange. Of course he'd been wearing the clothes given to him around the castle these past few weeks, but wearing them outside? He hadn't worn anything other than this coat outside for a decade… His natural response to knowing he was going out was to just put on the coat.

"Well, I brought you something just in case this happened." Lea holds up a bag. "I'm not taking you home like that." He puts the bag on the bed and closes the door.

"I haven't seen him wear it since he got here," Ienzo said. "We can confiscate it if you think that's best."

"If _I_ think?" Lea laughs. "You guys are the ones that have more to say about that kinda stuff. Although, I think he'd feel left out if he knew we all have our coats back home."

"See, you _do_ have the right answer."

"It's not like we're sitting around in them though. Besides, if you thought it would be a problem you'd already have taken it off him." Lea looks at the door. "How's he been?"

"He seems to be doing well, although quite impatient to see you again. I think he may need some reassurance about going to live with you as the time between your last visit and now has given him ample time to think about all the things that could go wrong. Otherwise he has behaved much like Saïx did – keeping to himself and being antisocial. Of course we didn't hold that against him, knowing he was always that way, but eventually we got him to eat with us now and again."

"Didn't say he missed having people to boss around?" Lea jokes.

"I think Isa is quite aware that the shoe is on the other foot here."

The door opens and Isa stands there in the black jeans and blue shirt Lea picked out for him. "These doors aren't that thick, you know."

"Well, it's nothing you don't already know," Ienzo says. "Or would you prefer us to have a hushed conversation about you?"

Isa says nothing as he readjusts the bag on his shoulder.

"Ready?" Lea asks.

There's no big fanfare for his departure – Ansem doesn't come down to say bye and Even waves him off through his lab's window. Ienzo and the two guards see him off at the castle's main entrance, inviting him back any time and trading numbers with Lea. Then the pair of them are finally alone as they walk down to the town together for the first time in many, many years.

"You're quiet," Lea says as they descend the stairs.

"I always was."

"Maybe, but we haven't seen each other for ages, and given what's about to happen I thought you'd have loads of questions."

"I do."

"Well?" Lea pauses and spins round to look at him. "Ask away!"

Isa shifts uncomfortably and looks away; he doesn't know where to start. For all his thinking, he'd never paused to consider which question he'd like to ask first.

"Alright, let me ask you one first then," Lea says when Isa takes too long. "Do you wanna live with me? I mean, I just kinda offered and they said yeah, but did they actually ask you?"

"They didn't need to. After you left that day it became obvious to everyone that I wanted nothing more for you to return for me."

"Aw, that's sweet."

"But Lea, I'm not just going to live with you, am I? They said Roxas and Xion will be there too."

"Yep!" Lea's smile is as bright as the sun to Isa. "Oh, I guess I didn't run that by you… I mean, we used to live together, so I didn't think much of it."

Isa wants to laugh – there will surely be a huge difference living with these three in a house in Twilight Town compared to the massive castle they once inhabited. Why, back then he could spend days seeing no-one if he so desired – and if work permitted it. "But are Roxas and Xion okay with me coming to live with you?"

"Of course they are!" Lea says it as if Isa shouldn't have spent two weeks worrying about it. "I mean, you're probably not going to be best friends at first given our history, but neither of them turned round and said no."

Isa wonders exactly _how_ that conversation went, but he doesn't think he'll get the full truth out of Lea – not today at least. But he appreciates that Lea isn't sugar-coating it and pretending the other two are excited for his arrival.

"Oh, did you want to spend some time in town?" Lea asks.

"Not particularly." Right now he just wants to go to Twilight Town and get the re-introductions over with. Staying here will only prolong his agony.

Lea continues on, passing by places they'd visited as kids, only now they had a new lick of paint, or in some cases new owners. A gummi ship comes into view and now Isa knows how they'll be travelling. Of course he didn't expect dark corridors to be the accepted mode of transport for a keyblade wielder, but he'd heard of several other ways to travel between worlds in his time. For a moment he worries that Roxas and Xion will be waiting in the ship. He sees a shock of blond hair and his heart skips a beat before realising it belongs to someone much older than Roxas.

"Sure you don't wanna buy it?" Cid asks Lea as he climbs out of the cockpit.

"Don't think we'll get much use out of it."

Cid shrugs. "Good thing to have in emergencies."

"I got a house to rent, two kids to feed and an unemployed lodger." Lea jerks his thumb at Isa. "I can't afford a car too."

"Fair enough. If you ever change your mind, you know where I am." He holds out a hand and helps Lea up into the ship, followed by Isa.

There's a moment of confusion when Isa sees Lea in one of the passenger seats, and before he can figure out if Lea expects him to drive, Cid budges past him and takes the helm.

"Chop, chop, lad, I don't got all day."

Isa sits in the other passenger seat quickly, and before he can locate his seat belt, Cid is lifting off.

Cid's style of driving isn't to Isa's tastes as he zooms through the lanes between, dodging rocks and debris as if he's playing a game, but he's good at it, and clearly won't be getting them killed today. Isa tries to enjoy the view as much as he can, not having realised how beautiful travelling between worlds can be. The serenity he feels dissipates as soon as he feels the ship plunge through to Twilight Town and he remembers every anxious thought he'd had about coming here. He barely hears Lea giving Cid directions to the house.

"Was my driving that bad?" Cid asks as he helps a wobbly Isa out onto solid ground again.

Isa says nothing – can't even thank the man for the ride because he feels like his heart is in his mouth. And when Cid takes off and he sees the gummi ship becoming a speck in the distance he wonders how he'll get back if this is a mistake.

Lea pats his back and gestures to the front door. "Come on."


	2. Home

The house is cosy. Located on the outskirts of Twilight Town, it's quiet and peaceful, and exactly how Isa had imagined it would be. It's nowhere near as tidy as Isa would like it to be, but what else did he expect from Lea? The man couldn't even keep his room tidy in the Castle That Never Was – a time when he didn't have much to make a mess with. Roxas and Xion clearly don't seem to mind the organised chaos, and in fact seem to be partially responsible. One wall has a couple of photographs randomly pinned to it – the three of them around town, sharing ice cream up on the clock tower, and with local kids Isa vaguely remembers. There's also a winner stick bang in the middle, much to Isa's surprise.

"Hey, come on," Lea says as he leads Isa up the stairs.

Isa's given the grand tour which includes a bright yellow bathroom that offends his eyes more than anything else in the house.

"We're probably going to repaint that," Lea mentions, "But Xion likes it."

He gets a brief glimpse of the kids' rooms; Xion's is rather plain, and it shows that she's the tidiest of them, while Roxas' tells him that if it wasn't for Xion's presence the other two would truly live in squalor. _Well, that's about to change._ _He_ certainly wouldn't let Lea get away with living like this for much longer, not if Lea wanted him to stick around for any length of time. Which he really hopes is true.

"It's not that I didn't think of you," Lea says as he opens the door to his room, "But I didn't think…didn't _know_ if you'd want to live with us. Besides, finding a four bedroom isn't easy."

"You don't have to make excuses," Isa says. "I understand."

Lea has tried to strip half of his room and shove it all on one side. Isa's eye is immediately drawn to the chakrams hanging on the wall, but he doesn't mention it, quickly returning to surveying what Lea has cleared to be his 'half.'

"I even changed the sheets this morning, as well as hoovering, dusting – all that stuff you like."

"I'm surprised you own a hoover," Isa teases.

"…Bought it yesterday," Lea admits.

A grimace crosses Isa's face. "I don't want to know how long you've lived here."

"Not long – just so you know."

"And already it's such a tip."

"You don't have to stay with us."

"I'm joking, Lea. Although, I will tidy this place up – as payment for lodging."

Lea just smiles – they both know Isa doesn't need to do or pay anything, but they also know Isa is going to clean whether they like it or not.

"S'up, Axel! And -" Roxas waves as he walks past. Then he stops in the doorway, realising who the other person is.

The moment is intensely awkward for Isa as he feels Roxas's piercing gaze scrutinising him. _Lea did tell him, right?_ Roxas drops his skateboard so he can fold his arms as he steps across the threshold towards Isa. "It's Isa, isn't it?"

"Yes." He feels so many things right now as he looks at Roxas – mainly confusion about how he's no longer in charge and –

Before he can think much more he's interrupted by a hand being extended towards him. Isa takes it with little hesitation, all of his worries alleviated when he sees Roxas smiling up at him.

"Thank you, Isa. Xion and I really appreciate everything you did for us."

Then the boy turns and leaves – for which Isa is grateful. Perhaps he found it as awkward as he did.

He turns back to Lea who is beaming. "I'm so glad you're getting along!"

Isa would hardly call it that. One quick exchange isn't enough to know if Roxas will truly accept him, but that smile seemed genuine enough. Still, he couldn't imagine their personalities would suit at all. Perhaps if Roxas was more like his other half…

"He called you _Axel_." Details never went unnoticed.

"Yeah, they both do. I mean, it's not like they ever knew me as Lea."

"But you're Lea now?"

Lea shrugs. "Depends who you ask. I'm more than happy for them to call me Axel. I mean, it'd be weird… If I gave up my Nobody name completely… I don't know how they'd feel. Would that be like saying I have to call him Sora? Xion doesn't even have a proper name."

Isa nods understandingly, realising that Lea is right to a degree. "But I want them to call me Isa. I don't want to ever be called Saïx again."

"Don't worry, we get it. _Your_ experiences as a Nobody differ from ours, and we know your other name has some…bad associations."

The room seems warmer than it did a moment ago, and Isa realises he doesn't want to talk about these things just yet. Lea isn't looking for an explanation, in fact he's basically saying Isa doesn't need to say anything at all, but still he _wants_ to say something else about it. Just not right now.

"Have you got a sleeping bag?" Isa asks to change the subject.

"Huh? What for?" Lea asks.

"Ah, of course – the sofa." Isa puts it together quickly. The sofa downstairs looked very comfy and certainly big enough for everyone to sit on if they wished.

Lea raises an eyebrow at Isa, and a moment later snaps his fingers. "I get it! No, you're sleeping here." He motions to the bed. "Like I said, I changed the sheets and everything just for you."

"Oh…but where will you sleep?"

"_I'm_ taking the sofa."

Isa huffs. "I can't allow that. This is _your_ room –"

"Nope. I've decided. Besides, I've got a job now. Early start, first one out."

Isa almost chokes on his laugh. "_You? Early_ start?!" He can't help but laugh at the absurdity.

"What? I'm a proper adult now with two kids."

That stops Isa in his tracks and he looks at Lea's serious expression which only causes another wave of hilarity to overcome him.

Lea sighs. "Well, maybe three kids now. Or maybe you can be the unemployed uncle? Bit too soon to consider you the second dad."

Isa wipes a tear from the corner of his eye. "Seriously? You've taken on a fatherly role?"

Lea shrugs and runs a hand through his hair. "I guess? Wasn't the plan, but Roxas wanted to go back to school, so naturally Xion wanted to as well, and yeah… I guess that makes me their guardian-slash-parent figure."

"I see. And what gets you up so early in the morning?"

"Local bakery." Lea catches the look on Isa's face. "What?"

"I didn't think cooking was…" He thinks back to a time when they used to have sleepovers as kids. "You could barely make toast last I checked."

"Well then you haven't been checking enough. If you'd actually spent some time with your colleagues in the kitchen you would have found that some of them had talent." Lea comes to a halt, not having intended to bring up their time in the Organization again today.

"Who was it?"

"Group effort. Xigbar was surprisingly talented, Vexen treated cooking like it was chemistry – superb timing and ratios, and Demyx – _I know_ – was rather good at making something out of nothing."

Saïx, on the other hand, had always tried his hardest to eat when nobody else was around.

"Anyway, I can't promise amazing meals all the time, but I know enough to feed the kids, and if they're hungry I can always stuff 'em with cake."

"That's not very healthy." But still, the fact Lea was taking on this parental role tugged at Isa's heart in a way he didn't understand. Last time he'd had a heart he hadn't been able to empathise with this kind of situation. He felt a strange need to help Lea in his plight.

Despite how the rest of the house looks, the kitchen is surprisingly clean. Isa had worried he'd be repulsed by it, but it turns out that Lea's time in the bakery has already instilled the correct way to maintain a kitchen. He watches on as Lea begins to prepare dinner, wondering if meals were always this balanced, or if Lea had chosen tonight's with Isa in mind.

"Hey, Axel. Hi, Saï- Isa." Xion looks embarrassed and hastily begins pouring herself some juice. "Sorry, old habits…"

Isa waves it off; it was only natural for Xion to get it wrong the first time. He had always been grateful for the way she'd greet him before training in the weeks leading up to the clash between light and dark.

"How come you didn't come home with Roxas?" Lea asks.

"I wanted to try out the fencing club."

"Oh? That sounds fun."

Xion nods. "Yeah, it was. But… I think I'm too good. I kept winning."

Isa smiles when he hears that; he'd expect nothing less.

"Maybe you should look into a more advanced team? You could be the next world famous fencer!"

"Oh, no, I… I'm not cut out for that."

"Eh? Why not? You won't know unless you give it a try." Lea flicks on the gas and looks up at the clock.

"I don't really want to be famous." She'd already had this conversation with the club leader, and even though she thought there was no way she'd ever be a famous fencer, she didn't want to take the chance. Her ability to learn combat techniques always surprised her, and that only made her think she would be able to do what Axel and the club leader said if she really put her mind to it. But fame was not a desirable trait. Even if being someone like that would validate her existence more than anything, she didn't want that kind of attention. It was enough for her friends to tell her she was real and valued, the rest of the world didn't matter. "Anyway, I should do my homework."

"Alright. Dinner'll be ready in about…20 minutes."

Isa gets roped into helping with dinner, but he enjoys it. He gets to learn which cupboard has the plates in, and which drawer holds the cutlery. Lea admits it's not standard fare to set the table, but it's easier if Isa isn't in his way as he gets ready to dish up. Xion is still working on her homework as he carefully sets a knife and fork down beside her, and she quickly closes the books and clears everything away.

"Oh, and would you call Roxas?" Lea yells from the kitchen.

Isa begins to ascend the stairs, but Xion stops him. "You don't have to go up there." Not that anyone would expect anything less than a polite knock on the door from Isa. "ROXAS! DINNER!" she yells, and Isa is slightly shocked, not used to hearing Xion being _that_ loud.

The blond appears moments later, and there's an awkward glance when he realises Isa's there. He goes to walk into the kitchen, but Lea's already coming out with plates, and he realises the table is set, and someone's already poured a drink for him. It puts him out of sorts for a moment.

Usually they'd chat over dinner, but today things start off awkwardly quiet. He knows Isa isn't Saïx, but right now he feels like he's back in the Organization, remembering the few times he'd been unfortunate enough to share the dining area with Saïx. Eating with the other members had been fine – sometimes even fun, but as soon as Saïx walked in it was like being caught by your boss goofing off, even though it's your own break to enjoy.

"How's the homework going?" Lea asks, finally breaking the tension Roxas feels.

"Yeah, ok," Xion says.

"What subject?"

"Maths. It's a bit hard, but I can do it."

Lea nods. "You got the same, Rox?"

"Yeah, but it doesn't have to be in until next week." He covers his back immediately.

"Hey, you do it in your own time, man. I know you two work a bit differently." Xion had proved to be far more studious than Roxas, even though Roxas was the one who suggested going back to school. "And you know, Isa's real good at maths. Way better than me, so if you need help, maybe he'd be willing…" Lea looks up at him.

"Oh, er…" He realises they're all looking his way. "I'll help if I can."

Xion beams. "Can you do quadratic equations?"

It'd been years since he'd heard that mathematical phrase. "I used to be pretty good at them, so I'm sure I still have it." Nothing a quick five minute refresher wouldn't fix.

"Actually, Isa used to be good at everything in school," Lea continues. "So you can ask him about more than just maths."

"Sounds like you don't want to help us anymore," Roxas says.

"I'll still help, but I'm just saying we now have someone more qualified in the house."

The conversation flows more easily now, and Roxas and Xion talk about things that happened at school today. Isa's able to sit back and listen, and occasionally Xion looks at him as she talks, trying to include him, or at least make him feel like he could contribute if he wanted. Roxas on the other hand doesn't look his way much at all, but he deserves nothing less.

He's hardly done anything today but he feels exhausted. He tells himself that it was the travelling from Radiant Garden to Twilight Town that's worn him out, but apart from that he hasn't done much but help with dinner and the washing up. As he lays in Lea's bed – and he does feel bad that he's been forced to accept it – he realises how overwhelming today has been. From little things like Roxas stopping to say hi when he returned home, to the fact Lea basically stripped half of his room for him. The way he seems to have just been accepted into this household is baffling, and he wishes more than anything that Roxas had kicked him under the table during dinner, or greeted him with a middle finger. He desires nothing more than for someone to hate him for what he's done.

His mind goes round and round, looking back on the day, and wondering what certain things meant, and whether things could have played out differently. He wonders if tomorrow will be similar, or if things will change.

For the first time since he was recompleted he sleeps through the night. His brain tells him it's because he was exhausted after spending several hours thinking, but his heart hopes it's because he's here with Lea. Maybe one day he'll include Xion and Roxas in that sentence too, but he has a feeling he and Roxas will never quite make it to that level of friendship. He doesn't want to know how the discussion about him moving in went down, but he's almost certain that Roxas was against it.

It's the mid-morning when he wanders downstairs. Lea's duvet and pillow have been shoved to one end of the sofa, and Isa can't help but pause and fold them neatly. He must have left hours ago, but his early start means he'll make it home before Roxas and Xion which pleases Isa. Of course he can hole up in his room to avoid them, but he just feels he's not ready to be alone with…well, with Roxas at least.

As Lea had said there was bread, cereal, and fruit in the house for him to have for breakfast. He pops two slices in the toaster, pleased to see it upright; Lea had often laid his toaster sideways much to his mother's disapproval when they were kids. Of course it was the easiest way to make grilled cheese, but Lea also had a habit of forgetting to time it. The toast pops out and snaps Isa out of his reminiscing about the time Lea had put a plate on the floor hoping to catch the toast if he forgot about it.

After breakfast he learns more about the kitchen. It's not difficult to work out where the drying up should go. He washes the dishes left by everyone else that morning before he realises he has no direction for his day. There are no missions to be handed out, and no reports to write. There's nowhere he needs to be, and no one he needs to see. He's at a loss.

When he walks into the bathroom he finds purpose for the day. While the kitchen didn't warrant cleaning, the bathroom certainly did. He could just imagine Lea's excuse for the disparity – _as long as you come out clean then it's clean enough_, or something to that effect. It's not an easy job, mainly because no one has bothered to invest in the kinds of cleaning products that would make this job easy. Perhaps that's why it's in the state it is, he thinks. He's half-dressed when he realises he has no munny to rectify this problem with, so he makes do with what's available.

Lea is quite impressed when he comes home. "Had a good day then?"

Isa makes his complaints, and Lea lets him know about the house fund. He says it's mainly for if they run low on essentials, but so far the kids haven't needed to dip into it except once to buy milk. But Lea really enjoys listening to Isa complain about how annoying it was to clean the bathroom with washing up liquid, and how he couldn't bleach the toilet, and how they should give it a once-over every weekend. He sounds like his old self, and that settles Lea after spending a good chunk of the day worrying about his friend.

He then points out there are some better alternatives to washing up liquid under the kitchen sink, and Isa frowns when he realises that's the one cupboard he'd missed on his kitchen tour.

**333**

"Oh, um, Isa, would you help me with those quadratics I mentioned yesterday?"

"Of course." He can't say no. He doesn't want to say no. He's beginning to realise he'd do a lot for Xion.

Once he's finished clearing the table he finds her sitting there with everything neatly laid out. Before he can take a look at anything Roxas slams a few sheets in front of Isa.

"Here you go."

Without thinking much about it Isa picks up a pencil and begins to work on the first problem, mumbling about how he remembers this.

"Are you just going to do Roxas's homework for him?" Xion asks.

Isa looks down at the paper again and realises that's exactly what he's been doing while Roxas is lounging on the sofa looking at his phone.

"No, I was going to teach you both how to do it."

Roxas shoots him a look. "How about you just do mine? I see it as payback for all the shit missions you used to give me. And seeing as this is day one I'll expect you to do another 357 pieces of homework for me."

Isa's mouth forms a thin line and he wants nothing more than to say something that would remind Roxas of the Nobody he used to be. But he resists. Perhaps he owes Roxas one piece of homework. He probably owes more, but he was sure Lea would see to it that Roxas participated in future endeavours.

Xion pouts when she sees Isa return to working on Roxas's sheet. "Do mine too then!"

"No. I taught you to have a better work ethic than that."

She looks over at Roxas and then back at Isa. "It's this one." She points to the question she can't do.

Lea is so pleased to see Isa and Xion working away, and he doesn't want to interrupt them. He almost doesn't notice Roxas on the sofa, wondering why he chose to remain in this quiet environment, especially one involving Isa. He thinks maybe this is Roxas's way of adjusting to their new housemate.

He leans over the sofa and whispers, "Don't you think you should be taking advantage of this?" He jerks a thumb in the direction of the hardworking pair.

"Oh, I am," Roxas assures him.

Lea narrows his eyes and gets a shove from the blond.

"None of your business."


	3. The Claymore Incident

He's lost in thought as they fly through the Ocean Between en route back to Twilight Town. It's been a wonderful day, if a slightly sad one. Riku and Naminé had called them all for a get together on Destiny Island in order to try and cheer Kairi up a little after Sora's disappearance. Partially he was glad he didn't have to face Sora again so soon, not having considered what he should say to the boy whose life he'd tried to ruin more than once, but the lack of Sora put a dampener on what would otherwise have been a wonderful reunion for all these friends.

An oddly shaped piece of debris catches his eye and he follows it, causing him to notice Lea gazing at him with a soft smile.

"What are you staring at?"

"You." Before Isa can say anything else, Lea elaborates, "I'm glad you came today."

"Y-yeah, me too." Of course he had tried to refuse at first, but even the kids said he should go. Xion seemed to genuinely want his presence, but he guessed Roxas just wanted to see him squirm in such an environment. "It was...fun." Even if he had stuck to Lea the whole time, he felt it was a good thing to mingle with others as well.

"Sure was. It even got you smiling."

"I _do_ smile sometimes, you know."

Lea nods, "Yeah, sometimes. I like seeing you smile."

Isa doesn't know what to say to that, and Lea realises they've come to an awkward impasse in the conversation. He turns to look out of the window and is relieved when the gummi ship pulls through to Twilight Town. Turning around to Roxas and Xion he yells, "Wakey wakey! We're almost home!"

The pair groan and begin to stir. The seats on the ship weren't made for sleeping on, that's for sure. The rest of their trip is silent barring the directions Lea gives to Riku, who offered to give them a lift back.

As soon as they're in the door Roxas announces he's going to bed, even though it's not even 9.

"You were running around with Riku and Terra too much," Xion says.

"You're looking at the winner of the races. Exhausting work, you know."

Xion says goodnight and settles into an armchair, pulling out her phone, no doubt to share snaps of today.

Isa's hands are itching to write down everything that happened today, but he takes a seat on the sofa while Lea roots around in the kitchen for something to eat. He returns with biscuits and juice for them all, taking at least four biscuits to start. Isa has noticed that Lea still doesn't eat much, but when it comes to sweet things he can put them away like no one's business.

"We should go to the beach here in Twilight Town," Lea says as he tucks in.

Xion's head snaps up. "Yeah! We never got round to it…"

Lea hums. "Never got that vacation day." He looks over at Isa. "And then we've been pretty busy with stuff here."

Isa knits his brows as he puts together why Lea looked at him like he was in the wrong. It wasn't _his_ fault that the Organization didn't hand out vacation days all that often; Xemnas was just a terrible boss.

"Let's go next weekend!" Xion seems to be vibrating with excitement. "We've gotta go before it's too cold!"

"Ah, yeah, I guess. What d'you think, Isa?"

"Me?" He wasn't expecting to be asked. "I thought this was something you guys planned… You know, from before."

"Yeah, but doesn't mean we're gonna go without you."

"Oh…" He feels strange…choked up. "I'd love to." There are tears at his eyes, and he looks away, trying to calm himself.

"Hey, are you okay?"

He nods and wipes his eyes. "Fine." He gets up and escapes into the kitchen, muttering something about a drink, even though Lea calls to remind him he's already provided juice.

Xion looks at Lea, and when he doesn't go after Isa, she goes to get up.

"No, give him a minute," Lea says. "I'll go, but let's just give him a bit of space."

She nods and looks back at her phone, but the concern is evident on her face.

Lea takes a deep breath and stands, hoping that this is going to be an easy conversation. It's been a long day for them all, and all he'd wanted was a simple evening.

"Isa?"

He's standing at the sink, looking out at the setting sun, and he jumps when Lea calls him. The time Lea had waited hadn't been long enough for him to sort through all his thoughts and feelings.

"Talk to me," Lea begs.

"You're all too nice," Isa says. He turns to face Lea, and Lea can see he's given into the tears.

Lea steps forward, about to embrace Isa, but he's knocked away.

"Don't." Isa keeps his hand out to stop Lea rushing in again. He sniffs and laughs at himself. "I hate this – these emotions."

"You'll get used to them again, I promise."

"Soon, I hope. I just feel like I get overwhelmed by every little thing."

"What, just being invited to the beach?"

"Exactly," Isa says, finally letting his guard down. "But it's not just that. All of today. On the ride back I was thinking about how _nice_ everyone was. They've all just accepted me into this friendship circle of yours as if this scar on my face isn't a massive reminder of what I've done."

"Well, some of them have been absent while you did those things…"

Isa sighs. "Yes, but still. Mickey – the king – he just came right up to me, said the past was in the past, shook my hand and said I could call him by his name. What's with that?"

Lea can't help but laugh. "Sounds about right for him. Surely Donald or…maybe Riku, had something less welcoming to say?"

Isa finally cracks a smile. "Ah yes, Donald did hit me across the back of the knees with his staff while you weren't looking."

"He does like to hold a grudge if he can."

"But Riku was pleasant enough to drive us home. Little things like that… He didn't have to do that."

"After Mickey's star shard adventure getting there? I think it was for the best." Lea shrugs. "You've got to learn to accept a little kindness sometimes."

"But –"

"Look, these people are all wielders, right? They just… It's just natural for them to be like that. And you know, these keyblade kids really know their light from their dark. You never heard a story about Sora going off on an adventure and helping the bad guys, right?"

"No, but Riku –"

"Nuh-uh, not after he started wielding. These people figure it out, alright? They can see that you're a good person now."

"But I haven't done anything. Since I've been recompleted all I've done is live here with you guys." Isa wonders if maybe there's something he _should_ be doing instead.

"You don't have to do anything. You don't have to _prove_ anything. They all know you're the reason we have Roxas and Xion. And they know that Roxas, Xion, and I are all really happy to have you here with us." Lea finally takes the opportunity to pull Isa into a hug. "We love you just as much as our other friends, okay? I want you to know that."

"I'm not sure Roxas would agree with that," Isa chuckles before burying his face in Lea's shoulder as more tears leak from his eyes.

Lea doesn't let go, waiting for Isa to tell him he's had enough, but Isa likes the contact. He likes being held like this after so many years of feeling nothing when someone put their arms around him.

"Give me a few more minutes," Isa asks as he taps Lea's shoulder.

"Alright." He pats Isa on the shoulder before he goes.

Xion is sitting by the door. "Hey, earwigging were you?"

"I just wanted to make sure everything was ok."

"We may like to think Isa's big and strong, but he's kinda sensitive." Lea flops down on the sofa. "Of course, you only get to see that if you're close like us. Maybe you should tell him you were worried… I think it's something he'd, uh, not _like_ as such, but appreciate in some kind of reassuring way, if that makes sense?"

Xion nods. "I will. Another time, when he might be strong enough not to cry. I don't want to upset him again."

**333**

Isa writes a lot, Lea notices. He bought a desk for his half of the room and can often be found sitting there staring out of the window before he jots down a sentence. Sometimes he writes at the table when helping the kids with their homework. Lea's happy to see him continuing to join in – especially when the subject is numerical.

"Can I read it sometime?" Lea asks one day.

Isa closes the book. "Not yet."

"Is it a novel?"

"No."

Lea drops the subject; Isa clearly doesn't want to talk about it. But it strikes him as strange; why would Isa write so publically if he didn't want others to know about it?

"Anyway, what do you think about bunk beds?"

Isa raises an eyebrow. "Are you five?"

"Well, I figured it'd give us the most amount of room."

"I'll take the sofa if you're tired of it."

"Not at all," Lea lies. "But you know, winter's coming and I think sleeping downstairs wouldn't be good for anyone. Or is it that you don't want to share a room with me?"

"Roxas said you snore."

"How would _he_ know?"

Isa shrugs, but imagines the kids have some footage stored somewhere to embarrass Lea. "Of course I don't mind, but _bunk beds?_ Really, Lea?"

"It was just an idea. I'll just get normal beds then."

"You're going to get rid of this?" Isa gestures at the double bed occupying the middle of the room.

"Yeah, I'll offer it to the other two, but their rooms aren't all that big, so I figure they won't want it."

It seems a shame to get rid of something that is perfectly functional. "I'll ask around town to see if we can sell it."

Lea nods and then backtracks. "Are you sure?" He realises the question is silly, but it just comes out. For some reason he hadn't really thought about Isa interacting with the townsfolk, but of course he does now he does most of the shopping. It makes Lea wonder what kind of rapport Isa has built up with the locals. The fact Isa never tells him any stories suggests his trips are very business-like.

"Of course. It should be a simple matter."

**333**

It isn't long before Lea finds out what Isa's been writing about. As soon as they begin to share the room it becomes clear how restless Isa is at night. The man tosses and turns, sometimes breathless, other times muttering under his breath. One night he calls out, startling Lea awake.

Lea calls softly through the darkness, "Isa, are you alright?"

But there's no reply, just the sound of laboured breathing. Lea wonders how he can still be asleep, but figures he's trapped in some nightmare. Worried, he climbs out of bed and finds his way over to Isa, cursing the fact he left his boots right in the middle of the room.

"Hey, Isa –" As he goes to touch his shoulder, Isa grabs his wrist with crushing force making Lea jerk back, pulling Isa with him.

There's a flash of light and Lea sees the claymore, dreading what comes next. He yells Isa's name as he holds his keyblade up in anticipation of the blow, his other hand creating a flame he hopes will illuminate his face for Isa to recognise.

The claymore is swung, but Lea hasn't judged it correctly – Isa is further to the right than he thought, and it clips his shoulder as he dodges out of the way. Suddenly they are bathed in light – Roxas stands in the doorway, keyblade quickly appearing in hand.

The light brings Isa to his senses and he can only stare down at his weapon, dropping it as his knees give way and he sinks to the floor.

"What's going on?" Roxas demands. It's 2am on a school night after all. He stands there, arms folded, waiting, but Isa is too busy staring at his hands, so he looks to Axel for an explanation. Then he sees Axel's shoulder, drops his annoyed expression, and rushes to his side. "Axel!"

Lea is torn between the pair, unsure who to deal with first. Roxas seems the easiest. "Isa was having a nightmare. Got out of hand." His eyes flick back to the man on the floor, as if to make sure he was still there. "It's nothing, so just go back to bed."

"But your shoulder!" Roxas's hand hovers over it, realising he doesn't have anything to mop up the blood.

"It's nothing." It certainly wouldn't look as bad if he was wearing more than a tank top that bore all. Despite what he said, Roxas still stood there. Nevertheless he turns to Isa. "You okay?"

Isa is very much not okay. Now that Roxas has pointed out Lea's shoulder he wants nothing more than to be swallowed up by the floor. _He_ did that. He hurt his friend thinking it had been part of a dream… He was _dangerous_. They never should have let him out of the castle where they could keep guard.

"You should tend to that," Isa manages to say. He was several syllables away from tears, and he certainly would have been if Roxas wasn't there. It was one thing for Lea to see him break down, but Roxas… The boy didn't need to see it, and Isa certainly didn't want him to.

Roxas pulls Axel up, dragging him out to the bathroom where he could dab at the wound.

"Rox, it's fine, really. I can do this, you go back to bed."

"No, let me." He wrings the damp cloth out and watches as Axel winces. "What was that back there?"

"I don't know. A nightmare, I guess?"

"Is it safe to have him here? Well, I mean, for anyone to sleep in the same room as him?" It was clear that Isa was quite reliable during his waking hours.

"Yeah, it's fine. I just overstepped the boundary I think."

Roxas hums as he gets up, looking for a dressing.

"Sorry we woke you, but it's nothing I can't handle."

"Look, Axel, I just want you to know that you can ask us for help too. I know me and Xion are only young, but we want to help too."

"Roxas… Do I look like I'm struggling?"

Roxas shrugs. "Maybe. You can barely make it past 9pm. And I know you're good at hiding your emotions."

"Hey, that's just because I get up so early. You'll understand when you get older."

"Will I?" Roxas ponders. "Sorry… Ignore me."

Axel doesn't let out his sigh. "What's up?"

"No, no, you've got other stuff to deal with tonight." He taps Axel's arm, indicating that the dressing is done, and that he is leaving.

"_Roxas_," Axel says in his most parent-like tone.

"Ask me about it another time, when we're not standing in a bathroom at 2am."

He would hold him to that.

Isa is lying in his bed, hands over his face when Lea walks back in. At the sound of his re-entry Isa sits up, face red from a mixture of emotions.

"Lea, I'm so sorry," he says, getting up to find out how bad the damage is. "I'm so –"

Lea pulls his friend close as the tears spill out once more. "Come on now." He hushes Isa, gently rubbing his back. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Isa shrugs – not really, but also of course. There's only so much he can get out of his system with writing; he needs someone to bounce words back at him. But right now? Doesn't Lea need to sleep? He has work tomorrow…

"Come on." Lea leads him out and downstairs, making him sit on the sofa with one of the throws wrapped around his shoulders. "Hot chocolate?" Isa is indecisive. "I'll make you one anyway."

When Lea returns Isa sees the now-dressed wound, wondering if it really is _that_ big. He hopes not.

"So, nightmares, eh?"

"Yeah…" Isa doesn't know _what_ he wants to say. Now he's sitting here with this opportunity it all seems to escape him.

"About what?"

"Many things."

"What was that one about?"

Isa gently traces his scar. "The day Xemnas gave me this."

Lea nods; it's not the first time he's heard this one, but it's been a while. If Saïx ever dreamed about it, he never shared it.

"I often have nightmares about when we became Nobodies – one of my biggest regrets. I dream of the darkness swallowing me. I dream of Xemnas and Xehanort – of losing myself to them. And sometimes I dream of eventualities that never happened – of Xehanort finding out about my collusion with Vexen, or of me accidentally killing you in the Keyblade Graveyard. Lea, do you have nightmares about the same things?"

Lea sips his hot chocolate. "Sometimes. I think we all have nightmares about the darkness sometimes, but maybe not with the frequency you do. Isa… I want to help you. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I'm beyond saving, I think." He pulls the throw tighter around himself. "You know, I was sleeping with the light on for a while. Sometimes that worked. I'd often sleep until midday when you went to work and the kids were at school, because the sun seemed to keep the darkness at bay."

"You can leave the light on any time."

"No, I feel like a child. I –" He pauses, not sure it's the right time to say _that._ What would Lea say if he aired such a thought?

"_Isa._"

_Oh no_ – Lea's using the parent tone with him.

"You have to be honest with me."

"Sometimes I just want to give in again –" he chokes on the last word, trying not to cry. "It's not hard really… I can just live as a Nobody. We did it for years after all… And then I'll be free to feel nothing again and –"

"No." Lea's face is stern. "That's no way to live, Isa. Things are hard now, yeah, but they'll get easier, trust me. Besides, isn't this what we always wanted? To be complete again? Isn't that why we worked Roxas and Xion to the bone while we were in the Organization?"

"Yes, but… Now we've seen both sides and can reflect… Wasn't life easier back then?"

"Yeah, it was. Giant castle to live in, only had to eat the bare minimum to function, could travel anywhere instantly… Sure, it was _easy_, but was it really _living?_ I'd much rather have my freedom and enjoy the richness this life has to offer."

"I'm not saying go back to the Organization – you can still have this life, you'd just be a Nobody."

"Could I really enjoy this life without a heart?" Lea asks. "A heart is what makes this life so fulfilling and enjoyable. I wouldn't go back."

Isa finally picks up his hot chocolate, and it tastes fantastic. Lea's right, of course. If he were a Nobody this would be a dull experience, the warmth of the drink would be lost on him save for the physical sensation. "How long did it take you to readjust?"

Lea shrugs, not sure if Isa's going to like his answer. "I don't know. Immediately? Or maybe not yet? Things happened so quickly that I didn't really have time to sit down and…" _Mope._ Not an appropriate word to use in front of Isa, was it? "Well, I was so focused on getting Roxas back that I didn't really pause for myself. Next thing I know I've got a keyblade, fighting in this war, and my best friend's back just like I wanted. But then there's another one, and then we've got a house and need to pay our way in the world like everyone else."

"Sounds like you need a break," Isa says in all seriousness.

"Yeah, maybe. And maybe you need to do something to keep you occupied. What do you do all day now the house is spotless?"

"Sleep late, wash up your breakfast stuff, write some stuff… And spend time pouring over recipes for dinner until you get home."

"Yeah, you need to have something else to do. You used to be so busy _all the time_ in the Organization that this lack of stuff to do must be driving you nuts."

He hadn't looked at it that way before. "Maybe?"

"I see the way you get really involved in the things you _do_ do – the cooking, homework helping, and this writing business. You just need something else. I'm not saying it has to be a _job_, but something to keep you occupied. Maybe a DIY project around the house? Or instead of writing whatever it is you're writing, you could write a novel, or something?"

"I'll have a think."

"And I want you to get in contact with Ansem or one of the others, maybe see if they can help you sleep better."

Isa nods.

"If you don't, I'll ring 'em myself. Just snap my fingers and Even'll be at our door."

"Don't worry, I'll do it. And please, stop giving that man a heart attack." He'd noticed the way Even flinched on the day they left when Lea snapped his fingers – something Lea seemed to find highly amusing. He couldn't find the situation funny knowing that Lea still had the power to command fire. "I've wasted enough of your time. Shouldn't you get some more sleep?"

"I'll take tomorrow off if you want to talk some more."

"You don't need to go that far."

"Alright. You coming?" Lea asks as he gets up.

"I think I'll stay here for a while."

Lea nods and gives Isa's shoulder a firm squeeze before he goes, reminded that the man is absolutely jacked. He's lucky his injury isn't worse.


	4. Reach Out

"Isa." Lea prods him with the end of his keyblade gently. "Hey, Isa."

He wakes with a moan, noticing Lea's choice of item to touch him with before it vanishes. "What?"

"You sounded like you were having a nightmare, so I woke you," Lea explains. "But also, it's getting pretty late."

Isa leans back to see light fighting to get through the curtains. "Leave me." He pulls the duvet over his head.

"Isa…" He doesn't want to pry if Isa doesn't want him to, but he cares too much these days.

Hearing the pain in Lea's voice he lowers the duvet. "It wasn't a nightmare, just so you know."

There's a pause as Lea stares at him, making sure he isn't lying. And then suddenly Lea looks away with embarrassment.

"Hey!" Isa attempts to yell, but his voice cracks. "What is that dirty mind of yours thinking?!"

"I never said anything!" Lea counters. "You're the one that said it!"

Isa's laugh turns into a cough. "Well, why else would you look away like that?"

Lea grins, knowing Isa can read him like a book. "I get it now. You sound rough - can I get you some tea or something?"

Isa returns to hiding. "No, let me die in peace."

Lea perches on the edge of the bed, putting a hand on Isa's forehead. "My, my, didn't I tell you not to sleep downstairs?"

Isa doesn't reply. It was the only place he felt he could sleep without fear of hurting someone again.

"It may be warm in the daytime still, but it's rather chilly at night. Don't worry, I'll look after you."

Lea disappears and returns with tea, toast, and a cool flannel. "Gotta get your strength up."

Isa sighs, but accepts the offerings. "I never got ill as a Nobody."

"Well, what a lucky boy you were. Maybe it's because you didn't hang around with the rest of us slobs that much."

Lea sits with him, chatting idly until he finishes eating. Carefully he presses the flannel to Isa's forehead.

"That's good."

"Alright, you rest well."

**333**

"Hey, Rox, got a minute?"

Roxas puts his gummiphone down and invites Axel in. "What's up?"

"I said I'd ask you about what you said the other night."

"Oh…yeah…" Roxas's smile disappears.

"You gonna tell me?" Axel asks gently.

Roxas spends a few moments pulling at the sheets beneath him, and when he speaks he doesn't look up. "Will I grow up?"

Axel suddenly realises how unprepared for this conversation he is. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know. Do replicas age? Am I going to be stuck as a 15 year old forever? Or was I never going to age because I'm some fucked up Nobody with a separate Somebody growing up instead? And what about Xion? Is she going to have the same problems as me?"

Axel has no answers. He hasn't even _considered_ that Roxas might be any different to anyone else. "Rox… I…" Roxas has clearly had a good think about this. "Have you asked Xion about this?"

"No. She's so happy… I didn't want to trouble her if she hasn't thought about it."

"Well, if anyone has the answers it's Even and Ienzo. They created the replicas, so they'll know."

Roxas doesn't say anything; he knows who to ask, but he's afraid of their answers.

**333**

In an unexpected turn of events, Isa is out when Lea wakes. It's the first time it's happened, and it would worry him if not for the note Isa left. There on his bedside table is the book Isa has been seen so often writing in, a post-it note stuck to the front, telling Lea he can read it if he wishes.

At first Lea only flicks through the pages, noticing just how many were filled, and wondering if Isa thought he would read it all. How long would that take? He reckons he'd be there for hours. He nips downstairs to grab some tea, finding Xion making toast. Roxas must still be asleep.

"Have you seen Isa?" he asks.

"No? Isn't he upstairs?"

He doesn't want to worry Xion. "He left a note to say he was going out, but I wondered if you'd seen him before he left."

"Maybe he's gone for breakfast? If he'd said I would have got up earlier!"

Lea smiles, glad to see that Xion is so positive. He can only hope Isa's having such a good time.

Not knowing how much time he has, he reads quickly. He skims, slows down to read some of the more heart-wrenching entries, and skips past ones that repeat and echo things said in an earlier entry. There's lots of discussion about nightmares, and much talk about becoming a Nobody again. A few even talk about ending his existence entirely – these are the ones Lea pauses to read thoroughly. Littered throughout are positive entries – one about how his tutoring had helped Xion ace a test, another about how one of Lea's spontaneous baking sessions had made everyone smile. There are a few more _personal_ bits scattered about – a few things Lea decides to skip over because he wonders if Isa had thought about these bits of information when he left the book here. Then he gets to the most recent entries which focus on the claymore incident. It starts with a lot of disbelief and self-hatred, and it's very clear how much regret Isa feels. But Lea doesn't need to read all this, skimming ahead to the conclusion; happy to find that Isa found their chat very useful.

That sets his mind at ease; the book ends in a positive place. He's less worried about where Isa is at the moment, but he wishes his friend had a gummiphone right about now.

"Axel?" Roxas calls.

"Yeah, come in." He quickly stashes the book out of sight. "What's up?"

"Not having lunch today?" Roxas asks. "Or have you been hiding some cheeky snacks from us?"

Lea looks at the clock. "Oh, yeah, must have got carried away."

Roxas cocks a brow. "With what?"

"Nothing." Lea jumps up and strides over to Roxas. "Have you guys already eaten?"

"Actually, we wanted to know if you'd make us pancakes." Roxas looks a bit sheepish. "We gave it a go but…well, it's more like scrambled pancake."

He doesn't want to know what state the kitchen's in, but of course he agrees, ruffling Roxas's hair as they make their way downstairs.

It's a good distraction – not only the pancake making, but also scrubbing the pan they'd previously attempted to cook with. There's flour all over the side too. Lea has only just sat down when Isa returns.

"Isa!" Lea smiles, glad to see his friend back and alright.

"Good afternoon." He sets some bags down on the table.

"Where did you go?" Lea asks inquisitively, making sure there's no hint of the parent tone he's by now well aware of.

"I went shopping." Isa gestured to the bags. "I hear that chocolate is good for releasing endorphins and increasing serotonin."

There's a lot of chocolate – dark, milk, and white, fruity, nutty, and caramel. Lea even notices Isa's gone for more risky ones like mint and alcoholic.

"What did you do, buy out the store?" he jokes.

"I'm going to find the best ones. Perhaps I'll rank them. You can have some too, of course."

Lea is staring at the chilli chocolate. "Yeah, _some_."

"How was your morning?"

"It was alright." He knows what Isa is asking, but is now the time? Did Isa have to go out and psyche himself up for this conversation? "I read some of your journal."

"Thank you. What did you think?"

Lea wraps his arms around Isa and squeezes him tight. "I'm so, _so_ glad you're still here and you're still _you_. And I want you to know that you _can_ talk to me any time. Literally, Isa, just wake me up and I'm happy to listen to you."

"You know I wouldn't do that, but I appreciate the offer."


	5. Time of the Moon

"Hoo boy, he's a tough one isn't he?" Xigbar claps as Lexaeus thumps down on the bench next to him. "Gotta say, I'd have lost money if we'd put bets down."

He gets no reply from the taciturn stalwart, and judging from his frown he's disappointed by the turn of events. Xaldin, on the other hand, seems quite pleased by the outcome.

"Guess it'll make a change to fight someone different." He materialises a couple of lances as he steps towards Saïx. "Next time though I'll go first. Can't really get a feel for what he can do if he's worn out from fighting you."

Saïx resents the sentiment, yet the anger he should feel is absent. Xaldin is right though; he's still inhaling deeply as he recovers from the clash against number V. His muscles ache as he lifts his claymore once more, but _this_ is the fight he wants to win. If he bests number III then that can only act in his favour. Perhaps number II will then agree to a fight…

He focuses on the task at hand. The man is just as physically imposing as number V, save for a few inches, but the fact he talks gives him a different edge. Saïx isn't threatened by the silent man, but by the one who speaks his mind. Number III will remain the third most important member if he can string the right words together. But Saïx hasn't been around long enough to ascertain if Xaldin has anything useful to say.

There's a gust of wind and four more lances appear. This is turning out to be more trouble than anticipated. Before he can even test out the brawn of this man, he'd have to get through his defences first. He can see this is going to be a two-stage fight, and he almost wants to give up and come back later, but he won't be the first to show a sign of weakness.

He waits for Xaldin to make the first move, knowing that his opponent has had time to study his own fighting style. Xaldin fights aggressively, aware that he has every advantage against Saïx today. Truly he'd quite like to show this newcomer his place by taking him down quickly and without hesitation. His lances find their targets – left side followed by right elbow, causing the claymore to clatter to the floor, finishing with a slap to the back of the knees.

Saïx finds himself kneeling on the floor before he's even begun. _Perhaps he really did beat his way to his position._ He grasps the handle of the claymore and makes a show of driving it into the floor as he uses it as support to get back on his feet. _Is the gap between numbers III and V really that great?_ The numbering system still holds some mystery for Saïx, who has so far understood that numbers are meant to denote seniority – or so Vexen has said – and are given based on the order in which they joined the Organization. But he's also been told the Organization was founded by the first six members, which begs the question how did they decide the order? There was no disputing Xemnas as number I, but what of the other 5?

Xaldin takes advantage of the fact Saïx appears distracted, moving in again. Saïx prepares for the assault, ready for another beating, but knowing that each time he's knocked down he's learning something new about Xaldin's fighting style. This time Xaldin moves like the wind – in front of him one moment, attacking him from behind the next. He's too slow to parry the blow, but this time he only staggers backwards rather than falling to his knees in front of their audience.

_Why isn't Lexaeus number IV?_ Of course they remember each other – he and Lea constantly trying to sneak into the castle, and the two burly guards outside always carrying them off the grounds. He'd never really thought about which one was stronger back then, just assumed it had been the bigger ginger one. _Wouldn't you order it so the guards follow one another, and then the scientists?_ That would be logical, he thinks, but then he realises that when they sit in the Round Room odds are on one side, evens on the other. Perhaps Xemnas prefers to group them like that.

Xaldin is already poised to attack again, and this time Saïx is better prepared to block. He almost wants to smile when he does, but Xaldin only takes that as a sign to speed up, and his lances manage to knock Saïx off balance again.

_I'm on the odd side…_ When Xemnas looks to his left he sees numbers III, V and VII – the brawn of the Organization. Saïx thinks he's an even split of brawn and brains, but of himself and Axel, he's the one that deserves to be on the brawn side. He can't help but wonder if number IX will be that way when they find the next member.

By now Xaldin is bored of the fight. Saïx is clearly in no state to put up a good show, so he may as well demonstrate how he deals with time wasters. For a moment he considers how far he's going to go, and as he looks at Saïx and the x-shaped scar now plastered across his face, he decides that as long as he doesn't kill the other then it's fine. Xemnas wouldn't take kindly to losing anyone before they'd even hit their goal of 13 members, but it seemed he didn't mind if they're roughed up.

Xigbar finds it a little difficult to watch as Xaldin batters his opponent with the blunt ends of his lances – it sure does look painful as Saïx doubles over and struggles to get up. "Number VII hasn't even landed a hit, has he?"

Lexaeus shakes his head.

"That's disappointing after seeing his fight with you. Xaldin's not _that_ much better than you, is he?"

"VII is buying time."

Xigbar hums. "_Was._ Think we're over that part of the fight now."

"It's not over."

Xigbar cocks a brow at Lexaeus whose eyes are fixed on the fight, then he too looks that way. There's _something_ going on now. Saïx appears to have a glow about him – an aura, Xigbar realises. His interest in the fight is renewed – could they be about to witness Saïx's unique powers? Number VIII had discovered his Nobody-given gift of fire pretty quickly, while everyone was left to speculate about number VII. Some members had said he wasn't working hard enough to discover his powers – but these comments came from people who had figured theirs out with ease. They were grateful to Zexion for speaking up about his own struggle to master his powers when Vexen was spouting off about it being a simple click of the fingers. Xigbar had wanted to point out that space manipulation was no walk in the park, but the less interaction he had with Vexen, the better.

Saïx floats off of the floor, and Xaldin, realising what this is, allows him to rise and let out a beastly roar. It's a little terrifying when his eyes open and they're glowing white, pupil-less. With a flick of the wrist his claymore changes into a pointier, deadlier version, and a second later Saïx hits the ground and starts gunning for Xaldin.

At first Xaldin appears to enjoy this turn of events, smirking as he dodges the attacks. Each smash of the claymore into the floor sounds like it'd really do some damage, but Saïx is too slow to land them against the Whirlwind Lancer. Xaldin wonders if Saïx has merely unlocked some kind of Lexaeus-mode. The assault continues, but instead of slowing Saïx only appears to gain speed as he gets used to this new state. There are more close calls, and eventually Xaldin has to block. The claymore breaks clean through the lance and Xaldin calls the match off.

But Saïx doesn't hear – _doesn't understand?_ Xaldin narrowly avoids a strike when he realises Saïx is still very much out to get him. And it becomes quite clear that he either can't or won't stop.

"WHAT'S ALL THIS RACKET?!" Vexen screeches from the door. "I am _trying_ to _work!"_

Behind him is Zexion, curiously watching the ongoing fight. But the intrusion does nothing to detract Saïx from his rampage.

Xigbar slides over to the door, resting against it. "Hey man, be my guest and pacify scar-face over there if you feel like it."

Having had several more seconds to digest the scene, Vexen has no intention of stepping into the room. "I'm sure Xaldin, Lexaeus, and yourself are more than capable. Sooner rather than later if you please."

There's a crash followed by the sound of shattering glass, and Xigbar turns to see one of the windows blown out. Meanwhile, Lexaeus has joined in the fight.

"I dunno. Looks like this isn't gonna be all that easy. Maybe you two could run along and get some back-up?"

Vexen looks astonished by the suggestion. "Traditionally those two _are_ the back-up. Are you suggesting I call the Superior for this?"

Xigbar shrugs. "If you can find him. Reckon he'd like to see this new guy's powers first-hand." He pauses to savour the look on Vexen's face, knowing the last thing the scientist wants to do is interrupt Xemnas to show him the new recruit wrecking the place. "But there's also that Axel guy."

"Ah, yes, number VIII…" Vexen sounds as if he'd forgotten about the other new member. "Zexion, you find the Superior while I find number VIII."

Zexion seems taken aback by this, even giving Xigbar a confused look as to why the more important person has been given to him to seek out. Xigbar shrugs and says, 'good luck, kid' before Vexen is portalling away and the expectation for him to follow suit kicks in.

Xigbar turns back to the situation, and for a moment he believes it's under control; Saïx has stopped in his tracks and seems to be catching his breath. Xaldin and Lexaeus are still maintaining their distance, but slowly they take a moment to look at each other and there's silent agreement that Xaldin should be the one to approach. He takes a step forward, and then another. As soon as his foot steps into Saïx's field of vision the claymore is once again flying through the air. Xigbar sighs, wondering if it's time to get involved. He wants Xemnas to see this, but he also realises the boss won't be pleased if anything goes wrong before he gets there, only to find out Xigbar merely watched on from afar. That thought gives him an idea, and unnoticed by the others he walks along the ceiling, camping out in a corner. From here he can shoot at Saïx all he likes, should the need arise.

He only takes a shot once when Lexaeus looks like he'll be too slow to get out of the way, and before Saïx can locate where the sniper is, the doors open and his attention is drawn to the redhead walking in. There's no sign of Vexen, and Xigbar suspects he's already scuttled off back downstairs. He also suspects Vexen didn't explain the situation much to Axel by the way the newcomer is striding in so confidently.

"Yo, Saïx!" Axel calls with a wave.

The raging beast of a man is still, apart from his expanding chest as he gulps down air. His eyes are fixed on Axel, but it's difficult to tell what Saïx is thinking.

Finally Axel stops in his tracks, having realised something's not quite right. "You okay there, bud?"

The claymore disappears as Saïx lunges for Axel, and Xigbar's heart would be in his mouth if he had one, as he wonders if he's about to witness murder. Somehow he's almost disappointed that the claymore doesn't reappear at the last second and slice through the unsuspecting redhead. Instead Axel is pinned to the ground, and Xigbar wonders if murder with bare hands is more Saïx's style.

"Saïx?" Axel stares up into those bright, blank eyes. He doesn't struggle though, unafraid of his friend. "Isa?"

The utterance of his old name strikes a chord within, and for a moment Axel thinks he's knocked Saïx out of whatever state Vexen had been so jittery about. Instead fingers tighten around his neck, and for the first time Axel is scared of this man he calls his best friend. Isa never would have – never _could_ have touched him like this. There isn't much pressure against his windpipe, but Saïx is holding him in a way that suggests any sudden movement and he won't hesitate to press harder. And Axel believes he would right now. This man isn't his best friend.

He doesn't know what to do. He has to choose his words carefully, and they better be the right ones. Above them, Xigbar takes aim, hoping to enjoy whatever this is just a little longer.

The Nobody in him takes over, remembering that he shouldn't be feeling anything like he is at the moment. _Perhaps self-preservation is a feeling even we can feel…_ "If you're going to kill me, make it quick. But do me a favour and don't forget me, okay?"

Saïx retracts his hand uses it to cover his face instead. All Axel can see is the frown forming on his lips. "Lea, I'm sorry." His voice is the quietest whisper, so that none of the on-lookers can hear. And Axel doesn't know if he's imagining it, but Saïx's voice sounded laced with pain.

The crunch of glass alerts everyone to their other guest. "I should make you pay for the window," Xemnas says in his slow drawling voice. "But I'm quite enjoying the breeze as I look down on the city from here."

Saïx is back on his feet immediately. "Please accept my apologies, Superior."

Xemnas turns and pats Zexion on the shoulder as he passes, "You may go." The Organization's youngest disappears, and Xigbar wonders if Xemnas really will make him second in command one day. "It appears I missed all the fun." Xemnas appears to almost glide as he crosses the room towards Saïx. "Zexion told me you were quite the sight to behold. Perhaps you'd like to give me a demonstration." He's not asking.

Saïx wants nothing more than to drop to the floor and sleep. His fight with Lexaeus was taxing enough, not to mention the following one with Xaldin, but whatever form he'd just unlocked had sapped him of everything now he was back to normal. Just standing is making his legs shake, and he can feel the muscles in his dominant arm twitch. As to what had just happened, he wasn't quite sure. He remembers it as a blur of rage and unlimited power, but as to how he got there… Even if he did know, he wasn't sure his body would be willing to comply with the request, even if it was coming from Xemnas.

Xemnas reaches him, an expectant look on his face. "No?"

Saïx wants nothing more than to please this man, but on this occasion he knows he can't. He wishes his body would just pull the plug and knock him out already. "I…" _Can't._ But he can't say that, his mouth won't let him utter such a phrase in front of Xemnas. "I –"

Xemnas puts a hand on his shoulder and steers him around so they're both walking out through the door, past Axel whose face has concern written all over it. "Come, you can show me away from prying eyes."

Axel watches as they go, worried about what happens next. The last person he trusts Saïx to be alone with is Xemnas, especially after he gave him that scar. His mind isn't given time to speculate because a hand is patting his own shoulder.

"Way to go, Flamesilocks!" Axel wishes Xigbar wouldn't call him that, but he guesses there are worse nicknames out there. "You really know how to calm Big Blue, eh? I'll get him a better nickname soon, promise. So, can we count on you again? Won't be the last time, I'm sure."

"Uh, yeah?" Axel doesn't really know what he's agreeing to. "What was all that?"

Xigbar grins, pleased to be able to tell the story to someone, with all his extra embellishments and dramatics, of course.

**333**

For the first time since they joined the Organization, Saïx doesn't come down to have dinner with Axel – not that they ever explicitly said that was a thing they'd do, but it had become part of the daily routine. Axel had never been one for routine, but it turned out there were small things in his day that he'd taken for granted.

"You can have some of this if you want," Xigbar calls out to him and motions to the bowls of rice and curry on the table which the other members are digging into. "You just gonna stand there until he turns up? Could be waiting a while, I think."

Axel realises that Xigbar's right, and he has just been standing there, looking at the worktops, waiting for Saïx to arrive and tell him what's for dinner. The other members, barring Xemnas, always ate together, but he and Saïx had so far done their own thing. It seemed odd to share a table with people who'd once been chucking them out of castle gates, but mainly they hadn't mixed because Saïx was even more unsociable now he lacked a heart.

He decides to take up the offer. Even though he's worried about the absence of his friend, and Xigbar's implication that he won't make it to dinner any time soon, he thinks this is a great opportunity to mix with the others. Axel thinks that socialising as a Nobody with other Nobodies has got to be great fun – if you can't feel a thing then surely you can say whatever you like without consequence? Well, perhaps not entirely without consequence, but he reckons there'll be a few more things he can get away with saying without hurting anyone's feelings.

He grabs a plate from the cupboard before squeezing into the space on the bench between Xaldin and Lexaeus. The talk of the table is what happened that afternoon – Xigbar is taking great pleasure in making sure Vexen and Zexion hear the bits they missed, as well as making sure he gets their versions of the story too – what did Vexen tell Axel to get him to come? Where was Xemnas when Zexion found him?

"I really thought he was going to kill you," Xigbar says as he hands his plate to Vexen who stacks it on top of Lexaeus's who is tonight's designated dish-washer.

Axel doesn't want to agree with him, but he can't deny it either. For him the moment stretches, but the reality is that Xigbar doesn't leave enough time for him to say anything before he asks his next question.

"So, what did you say to him?"

"Not much. Just to not forget me."

Xigbar seems unimpressed by this. "Really? That's all?"

Axel nods, knowing that these people don't understand the significance. Soon, once they're interacting a bit more, they too will get sick of him telling them to get things memorized. Still, he doubts he'll ever share his thoughts about how important living in a person's memory is with people who don't have hearts. He feels a phantom twinge in his non-existent heart as he wonders if this is it for him; will he never be remembered again? Xemnas said that Nobodies don't truly exist, so will his time in the Organization be nothing but a myth? Perhaps a time forgotten about entirely? Does that make his time here meaningless?

Lexaeus takes his plate and snaps him out of it. _No, we'll form Kingdom Hearts and regain hearts of our own. Then I can go on living again._ The giant man beside him gets up, and the others take that as the signal to leave. Xigbar is the only one left.

"Not scrambling off?" he asks. "We don't do dessert, you know."

Axel hadn't been waiting for it, but maybe his body had been, he thinks as his mind begs for something sweet. Saïx always liked to round things off with a bit of chocolate, a scoop of ice cream, a thin slice of cake – nothing too outlandish now he was trying hard to build his form. Axel wonders if he's been a bad influence – always the one stopping by the shop on the way home from school and leading Isa astray, but he supposed they always enabled each other.

"Why are you still here?" Axel throws the question back at him.

"I know we're all heartless bastards here, but I'm not gonna run off and leave Lexaeus here to do the dishes all by his lonesome, even if he's not going to say anything. Thought that counts, right?"

"There's been a few occasions where dishes have been left," Lexaeus says, "now it seems someone will stick around to hold others accountable."

"Who sticks around when you wash up?" Axel asks Xigbar.

"Whoever cooks, usually. That way they can make sure everything they used gets cleaned. So if you join us again, make sure you don't piss Vexen off or he'll make sure he uses as much as he can so you have a shit time trying to balance it all on the draining board."

**333**

He feels – does he _feel?_ – relieved when he walks in and sees Saïx lying there. As he'd walked through the eerily quiet castle he'd wondered if Saïx might be elsewhere, perhaps still with Xemnas? So his initial response is relief, but it slowly turns to concern. Saïx is lying on top of the duvet, coat still on, _boots_ still on. Everything about this scene says something bad happened today. Axel comes to the conclusion that Xemnas must have put Saïx here; there's no way he would have got into bed with shoes on if he had enough energy to get here in the first place. And besides, he's too perfectly poised to suggest he struggled in here.

"Isa?" Axel calls softly, wondering if he's just pretending to be asleep. What if he thought Xemnas had returned?

There's no response, even when Axel gently touches Saïx's shoulder. It unnerves him that his friend is still sleeping; Isa was always a light sleeper. He pulls off a glove and places the back of his hand against Saïx's forehead, just to make sure. His temperature is fine as far as Axel can tell, but the contact disturbs Saïx. Axel retracts his hand, and the expression on Saïx's face softens again.

It surely isn't a good idea to reach out again, but curiosity overcomes him as he goes to trace the scar on Saïx's face. The scary pupil-less eyes had been his main focus as Saïx bent over him earlier that afternoon, but now he remembers the massive X plastered across his face – much bigger and frightening than the one adorning his face now. Axel wonders if Saïx knows how monstrous he looked.

He jumps when a hand grabs his wrist with unexpected speed.

"Isa?"

"Saïx," the other corrects him.

Axel looks down into yellow eyes. "_Saïx_… How are you?" The grip on his wrist loosens and Axel slips his glove back on in a reflexive motion.

Saïx sighs and sits up, and Axel can tell it's not an easy movement. It's clear that Saïx's body is still heavy with exhaustion. "I've been better. Why are you here?"

"I was worried – you didn't come down to dinner," he adds quickly.

Axel notices the way Saïx's eyes flick towards the window briefly before remembering that the dark sky never changes here; it's impossible to guess how late he's slept. Instinct says to lie and say he wasn't hungry, but Axel very clearly caught him out for the count. "You've eaten, right?"

"Yeah, I…"

"That's all that matters." He knows Axel has bad eating habits when left to his own devices.

"Isa…" It's so awkward to bring up what happened earlier now he's actually faced with the task. He thought he'd had it all planned out, but now he's not sure exactly how the plan went.

"Stop calling me that. It's not my name."

_Ah!_ A way in. "You called me 'Lea' earlier."

"That was…a slip of the tongue." Saïx looks away, unable to face Axel as he recalls the moment he said it. "What you said reminded me of days past."

"Yeah, I wanted to talk about that actually…" Axel watches Saïx closely, but his expression is as stony as Axel has come to expect. "What was that all about earlier?"

Saïx's hands clench fistfuls of his coat. He says nothing.

"And what happened after? Where did Xemnas take you?"

"I'm exhausted, Axel. Leave me alone."

"No. I want to know what he did this time."

"_Axel,_" he says in a warning tone, but Axel doesn't seem fazed by it. "Why do you care?"

"Because you're my friend."

Saïx laughs dryly. "Can Nobodies care about such ties?"

"You wouldn't care if I was in your position?"

That's not a question either would like the answer to. Saïx wants to believe he'd care, but he fears he wouldn't. Not the way he once would have… "I was already exhausted, and then Xemnas took me to a place I can only assume is somewhere in the castle. We took a dark corridor to this windowless room, circular, rather small compared to what one expects from this castle. He gave me the opportunity to reach that state I'd tapped into earlier…" Saïx drifts off as he remembers the details clearly for the first time since waking.

"And? Did you?" Axel probes.

"No. I don't know how. And, as I said, I was tired, ready to pass out if not for the fact it was Xemnas standing before me. But my body wouldn't allow me to get away that easily. Naturally, _the Superior_," Saïx says the title like it's venom in his mouth, "made sure to draw it out of me once more. I don't remember much of the first time, and even less of the second time, or the third."

"_Third?"_ Axel fails to hide his shock.

"I was an experiment this afternoon. A plaything. He's no fool; he knew exactly what to do to induce the state – which he called 'berserk.' I couldn't tell you if I attacked him, or if he overpowered me while I felt invincible. All I recall is that he said he'd be training me to get it in-check, so I could have some ounce of control over it. I assume I lost consciousness in that room because the next thing I know you're touching my face like the annoying insect you are."

"Sorry. Not often you sleep through a shoulder tap."

"Don't touch it again." Saïx runs a finger across his scar, and looks as if he's about to offer more, but stops.

"Did he hurt you?"

"I've told you what happened, now leave."

"Saïx…"

"It goes without saying, Axel. I can only trigger that state when I'm backed into a corner so to speak. Imagine what you wish."

Axel's fist clenches as he thinks about the fact he's allowed Xemnas to hurt Isa again. Yet he's powerless to intervene. "Do you – can I do anything for you?"

"Yes. Leave, as I've requested several times now."

"Glass of water? Some biscuits or…" Axel tails off as he sees Saïx isn't paying attention, instead pulling off his boots. _Well, at least he seems to be himself_. So finally he accedes Saïx's request and heads for the door.

"Axel." The redhead turns to look back. "I can't apologise enough for earlier, I remember that much. I'm ashamed of my lack of control…that I managed to get _that_ close…"

"But you didn't."

"But I _might_ have. And that _concerns_ me." He chooses that word over one that might suggest he can feel. "The last thing I want is for you to disappear."

"I know. That wasn't you with his hands around my neck; it was someone else." He walks out, not wanting to hear about the pain he saw in Saïx's eyes earlier now he's faced with it. Nobodies don't cry, or so they said, and he didn't feel up to testing that theory right now.

**333**

"Isa?"

The tap on his shoulder wakes him, and he's pleased to see Lea is once again comfortable enough to touch him with a hand rather than a keyblade.

"I'm going to bed now," Lea says.

Isa looks at the clock, realising he must have been asleep for an hour or two, the book he was reading having fallen to the floor. He sits up and rubs the back of his neck, painful from the armrest of the sofa. "Was I restless?"

"Nah, I'd just say your face made you look constipated is all."

The indecision to laugh or scowl at the remark ends up with him snorting. "Well, that sounds about usual for me, wouldn't you say? I'll be up soon."

Lea nods and leaves, and Isa gets up to stretch out all his aches. He had been dreaming about a memory… It wasn't pleasant, but his memories of that time were vague to begin with. Compounded by the fact he couldn't feel at the time, he found there wasn't much for his brain to torture him with. At least not tonight.

As he downs a glass of water he thinks about the pseudo emotions he'd had that day, and wonders if any of it was real. He mulls over the image of Axel beneath him as his hands left red marks on his neck, and now that these memories have finally surfaced and he considers them properly for the first time with a heart, he knows his brain will make him pay for it another night. He'd got off lightly tonight, but this is just the beginning of the journey to face these memories. Part of him would like to ask Lea what he remembers of their early days in the Organization, but another part wishes to bury these memories he didn't ask to remember.

As he ascends the stairs he wonders, _when did you stop being able to stop me?_ Yes, Xemnas eventually managed to instil some control in him, but it wasn't total. Some days he'd go off on one, and the only hope for most of the other members was to beat it out of him, or call for back-up. Axel used to be their favourite one to call – easy to find, and never made a big deal out of it. But one day Axel stopped being able to pull the reins on Saïx's berserker mode.

_Fuck._ He wishes he hadn't thought about that. _That_ was another bad day. He tries not to remember the details of Axel's failure, instead forcing his mind to skip ahead to when Xemnas came to calm him. From then on Xemnas became the easy option…

Noiselessly he slips into the room; Lea is already curled up trying to sleep. As he climbs into his own bed he realises he doesn't want to sleep. He's afraid to sleep. No doubt his brain will be conjuring up all kinds of nightmares where he kills Axel instead of stopping his rampage. And no amount of telling himself that it's all lies now will be remembered once he slips into slumber. In his frustration he grabs at his hair, not allowing himself to sigh or make a noise in case he disturbs Lea. Tonight will surely be a long one.


	6. Sparks

For the first time since they started living together, Roxas and Xion spend the night away. Pence's horror all-nighter was a much anticipated event among the kids, and Lea is glad that the pair are out enjoying normal teenage things. Lea suggests that he and Isa go out for dinner – much more affordable when it's only the two of them.

The Bistro is doing well for itself and lends a bit of sophistication to their evening. They enjoy a full three courses along with a bottle of wine and Lea leaves feeling rather fancy for once.

Something that evening makes Isa want to talk. Was it the fact they're alone? Or did the wine loosen his tongue? Lea doesn't ask, only listens.

Isa pours out lots of good feelings – he tells Lea how much he's enjoying this quiet house on the edge of town, how he's growing into his role of second dad, and how he understands why Lea has no interest in leaving this quaint life.

And yet that reminds him of his jealousy. Things quickly start taking a more depressing turn, and Lea tries to steer the conversation back on track. He moves in closer, knowing that Isa responds better when he can't physically isolate himself. Just an arm around Isa's shoulders is enough to calm him again.

Isa leans against Lea, and the other winces.

"Let me see it," Isa says, making a move on Lea's buttons without hesitation.

"Don't worry about it, it's fine."

"No. I've noticed you've kept it covered recently. Unlike you not to bear your shoulders for so long."

"Winter's coming and all that," Lea lies. Of course he kept it out of sight; he didn't want to remind Isa of the incident. Still, he doesn't stop Isa.

The wound no longer requires dressing, but it still looks fresh to Isa's eyes. He carefully traces the skin around the gash, whispering apologies as he does so.

Lea pulls his shirt back over it. "Isa, don't worry about it."

"It looks like it's going to scar. And it's _my_ fault."

"So what? It'll make me look cool – like I did something in the fight of our lives."

"But –"

Lea puts a finger to his lips. "It doesn't bother me, so just let it go."

Isa gives him an unconvinced expression before moving so he's sitting on Lea's other side, leaning on his good shoulder. It makes Lea smile; the fact that Isa wants to sit with him like this. His hand comes up as a reflex to ruffle his hair – something he always did to the kids, but realising Isa probably wouldn't appreciate it he stops himself, opting instead just to stroke the blue locks.

"Lea, what's your goal in life?"

"To be happy."

"Is that all? No grand plans?"

"Not really. You know me, just going with the flow all the time. And right now I'm so content with how things are I can't imagine wanting anything else."

Isa likes that answer – it's so very Lea, but it also pleases him to know Lea has the outcome he wanted.

"What about you, Isa?"

"I don't know. I think I'm re-evaluating myself at the moment. I was always so career-orientated, or so I believed, but was that making me happy? Maybe you're right about goals being more about how you feel. What I do know is that the truth for me right now is I'm enjoying _this_. This simple life with you and Roxas and Xion. I can see why you're so attached. And Lea," Isa looks up at him, "I wanted to say thank you. For accepting me again after all I did, and for inviting me to stay with you."

"Aw, come on, what was I supposed to do? Drop you out in the woods for who knows who to pick you up?"

"I certainly would have left me in Radiant Garden just a little longer to suffer. But there you were, the first visitor… I can't tell you how much I appreciated that."

"You don't have to. I could tell." He places a finger on Isa's cheek, just below his eye.

"When did you decide to get rid of them?"

"When I was recompleted and I realised it was okay to cry again."

"Yes, quite unbecoming of an emotionless Nobody, isn't it?"

"It would have been, if I'd had the capacity to ever ruin those marks."

"I thought they looked cool," Isa says.

"So did I. But we're not part of a _cool_ gang anymore."

Isa shrugs. "At least you have the choice to get rid of what once defined you as a Nobody."

"What defined us was our inability to enjoy a night like this, not our appearances."

"I beg to differ." Isa flutters his eyes.

"Special case." Lea can't help but smile at those sea green eyes; he'd never enjoyed looking into yellow ones.

"Still, I have to walk around with a mark of my time in the Organization as plain as day on my face."

"It's a memory of the struggles you've been through. And it's neat and clean, not like the gash Xigbar had to bear."

"It's _too_ neat. It garners questions."

"You don't have to answer them. Isn't an air of mystery something you always liked?"

Isa says nothing; he _does _want the mystery, but he wishes that people didn't have such a massive hint to look at. Then he feels a soft press between his eyes and realises Lea's kissing the centre of his scar. Any kind of comeback he'd hoped to put together is immediately gone as he feels his cheeks burn.

Lea, upon seeing the expression on Isa's face, quickly adopts a similar one. "I, uh… Sorry, couldn't help it."

But Isa isn't going anywhere, still leaning on Lea's shoulder, and Lea wonders if he's broken the man.

"You drank too much at dinner," Isa accuses him. It's the only way his brain can make sense of the gesture to allow him to continue this evening normally.

Lea laughs. "As if!" He can't help but take the opportunity to quote Xigbar. "That's harsh, man. You know I would have done that anyway…"

"Really?"

"Yeah," Lea says with conviction. "What else am I meant to do with you leaning on me telling me about this part of you you hate? And I'm mere inches away…"

Several ideas pass through Isa's mind, all of which he dismisses because _he_ hasn't drunk enough to carry any of them out.

"I liked it…" Isa mutters.

"What was that?"

"You heard me."

Of course he had; the house is silent otherwise, he just wanted to hear him say it again. Instead he just beams down at Isa. "A little affection every now and then is good for the heart. You should enjoy some more often."

Isa slides an arm around Lea. "Well, if you're offering."

**333**

His brain waits like a ticking time bomb until he's in bed trying to sleep. As soon as Lea says goodnight and kills the lights his mind wakes up and decides it's time to replay that forehead kiss on repeat. It was embarrassing, right? He certainly had been at the time. But apparently he liked it enough to be thinking back on it fondly right now. In fact, he'd even go as far as to say he'd quite welcome another kiss from Lea.

_Wait, can I hear that thought again?_

_I want Lea to kiss me again._

He wants to stop thinking right there, but his mind races ahead anyway with an image of said kiss.

_Oh..._

Since when did he even think about kissing anyone? Let alone his best friend? Oh god, was he...?

He didn't allow himself to finish that thought, deciding he'd rather examine every second of the evening to figure out why his brain was being like this.

Everything had been pretty normal, right? Had Lea been suggesting more with his comment about physical contact being good? He'd always been a touchy person, so Isa never thought anything of it, but what if…? _No, no_. This was all on him, not Lea. He'd been the one who'd leaned on Lea's shoulder and put himself in that position.

_Yes, but Lea has done _that_!_

And apologised immediately. As if it was an unwelcome gesture... From anyone else it would have been, he supposed. At some point he'd come to welcome Lea's touches. He thought that was just something to do with having a heart again and craving something that told him he could feel again.

_Yes, that's all it was. Nothing more._

_And that should be the end of it_, he thinks as he rolls over, ready to sleep.

Of course he's wrong. Now, some horrible part of his brain decides, it's time to consider if he could possibly have any other feelings for Lea above friendship.

_Why else would you want to kiss him?_ His brain asks.

He turns to face the wall, even though it's dark and Lea's likely asleep and not even looking his way.

_Because...I..._

Love isn't a word in Isa's vocabulary. He certainly doesn't bandy it around like a certain redhead does. Not that Lea has ever said it in such a way as Isa might be contemplating about doing right now. Lea often claims he loves his friends, but he'll always include everyone - no one of them is ever loved more than the others.

The sound of soft snoring fills the air and momentarily breaks his train of thought. Now that Lea's asleep he gets up and heads to the bathroom to splash water on his face in an attempt to clear his head. As he looks at his tired eyes in the mirror he prays he'll get some sleep tonight.

**333**

"Do you guys want the light on or something?" Lea asks as he passes through the living room. Roxas and Xion are sitting at the table in silence, both staring off into space. "Is everything alright?"

"Just thinking," Xion says.

Lea nods and proceeds to the kitchen to put away the groceries. When he finishes the pair are still sitting there, the only difference being that Roxas is now leaning on the other hand.

"Come on, what's going on? Didn't you enjoy the Halloween all-nighter?"

"No, it was good, but…" Roxas sighs. "We got talking about stuff…"

"It's funny how night time does that," Xion says. "We ended up talking about Sora."

"The others have met him too, you know. A couple of times."

"He'll be back," Lea says with as much conviction as he can.

"I know." Roxas places a hand over his heart. "But maybe we can do something to help. It's been over a month now. Maybe we can go out there and help Riku with whatever he's doing."

"We can go to Yen Sid and he'll help us find out what to do," Xion joins in. "You can come too, Axel!"

"Uhhh…" He looks between them both, realising they're completely serious. "I think I'll pass."

"Don't you want to help?" Xion asks.

"It's not that I don't want to, but… I'm happy here, living a simple life with you guys, not out there fighting bad guys, or I guess being the bad guy as was sometimes the case. But anyway, as I see it, if they wanted my – _our_ – help, they would have asked for it by now."

"Don't you feel like you owe it to Sora to help?" Roxas asks.

"Well yeah, I guess. But he's the one who went to such lengths to get Kairi back. Maybe _she_ should be out there. I mean, we're on equal footing when it comes to keyblade knowledge, so if she wants me to help, she should be the one asking. But then why send a pair of chumps like us when you've got literal keyblade master Riku already out there? Are Aqua and Mickey out there too?"

"I…I don't know." Roxas comes to the realization that he hasn't been keeping up with what others are doing.

"Roxas, Xion, I know you want to help, but trust me, there's a list of people that rank above us when it comes to this whole rescue business. I'd say even Donald and Goofy are before us, even if you two are super connected to Sora."

"I _am_ Sora," Roxas says. There's a weight behind it, and Lea realises he's never heard Roxas admit it so plainly. "And as much as I like to pretend I don't care, I feel like something's missing when I know he's not around. I wasn't pulled from his heart to live while he…while he does whatever he's doing. Sleeping? Dying?"

There's a moment of silence from them all, and Lea's the one to break it. "Roxas, if you want to go out there and do your bit, then you do that, but for me, I'm happy to stay put until they call on me. I've seen Riku pull Sora out of this kind of thing before, so I believe he can do it again. It's just taking a bit longer. Maybe Sora's a bit deeper in… Or maybe they're already together, off doing some other business before they can get back."

Roxas stares up at him, and knows that Axel's right. He doesn't want to agree, but he concedes with a nod, because he remembers the lengths Riku would go to to get Sora back.


	7. Lift Me Up

Xion bursts into the scientists' office. "DAD!"

Both Even and Ienzo look round, startled by the sudden shout, relaxing when they realise who it is.

"Good afternoon," Ienzo says with a smile, "You could just knock next time instead of giving us heart attacks."

"Yeah, now you've got hearts to attack," Roxas says.

"And what's 'dad' anyway?"

Xion points at Even. "Dad!"

Even looks mortified as Xion beams at him as she walks over and attempts to hug him. "I'm not – no, leave me alone –"

Roxas is having a hard time controlling his laughter, and Lea is smirking as he puts the pieces together and realises this is another one of the kids' pranks.

"I'm not your father!" Even is trying to make himself inaccessible behind the desk. "You have two legal guardians over there, so why don't you go and pester them instead."

Xion looks back at Axel and Isa, but she knows Axel will play along, and Isa looks uncomfortable enough as it is. "You made me! You're my real dad! Or do you think 'Mum' is more appropriate? Maybe Xemnas can –"

"Enough!" Even doesn't want to hear what strange ideas she has about her origins; it was simple science to him, nothing more. "Do you want your check-up or not?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"Ienzo, you can take Xion today."

Xion pouts. "No! I want you to do it. Me and Roxas already decided."

"Oh, you did? Roxas will find he's going to see Ansem today. Now, if you'll behave and stop this father business, we'll begin."

"Why Ansem?" Roxas asks.

"You can still wield two keyblades, correct?" Roxas nods. "That makes you a peculiar case – something Ansem wishes to study. He'll be down shortly, or you can see yourself upstairs."

Feeling like he'll be here the longest, Roxas waves to the others and exits the office.

"Isa," Even turns to him next, "Are you happy to speak with Ienzo today?"

Isa nods and looks over at the young man who gives him a smile.

"What about Axel? Who does Axel get to see?" Xion asks.

"I'm just here as moral support," Lea says. "Not that these two would want to help me anyway."

"But they have helped you – they got us back, and look after us," Xion says.

Lea waves her away. "Yeah, I guess. Go on, Even'll get impatient."

A moment later the office is empty, and Lea pulls out his gummiphone; no signal this far underground. Certainly he could get up to some mischief here…

**3**

"So, how is the journaling going?" Ienzo asks once they're in another room. This used to be one of the cells experiments were kept in – or naughty children that tried sneaking into the castle one time too many – but now it's been repurposed as Ienzo's personal office. There are a couple of bookshelves bursting with books both old and new, but it's the few personal effects Isa remembers from The Castle That Never Was that tells him this room belongs to Ienzo.

"I've almost filled a whole book," Isa tells him.

"Good, good. Anything in particular you'd like to share?"

"Not really."

"Isa…" Ienzo gives him a pitying look. "We can't help you if you don't tell us anything."

"The nightmares have drastically decreased in frequency."

"Excellent. Do you attribute that to anything in particular?"

Isa doesn't let his face betray him as he weighs up what to give away. "Yes."

"And that is…?" Ienzo prompts when Isa doesn't offer. "Would it be easier for me to offer you some form of questionnaire in the future?"

"It wouldn't exactly be anonymous, would it?"

"No, but at least you wouldn't have to say it aloud to me. Some people find writing things down easier – something you've shown to prefer." He looks around for a pen and paper.

Isa sighs. "It's Lea."

"What is?"

"He's the reason the nightmares are less frequent."

Ienzo nods. "Any further information on why you think that's the case would be appreciated. This is all for the sake of science, remember."

"I hate being an experiment," Isa says under his breath.

Ienzo apologises, "I didn't mean for it to come across that way. I merely meant to remind you that I'm not prying to be nosy. I don't know how you want things to be, but I would rather…" He stops, wondering if his phrasing would hurt Isa, but part of him remembers Saïx and how blunt he used to be. "I'd rather keep this as _professional _as possible. Neither Even nor I have any desire to become some form of therapist for you; we're not _that_ way inclined. And in that vein, should we ever meet you outside of this castle we want to pretend we know nothing of your problems. Perhaps in the end it will reduce you to an experiment number, but in that case I'd recommend some more qualified help."

"No, you're right." He's quite grateful Ienzo has this view of whatever these sessions can be called. "But I doubt there are many people more qualified than you to help me."

"I suppose. We are unique cases. Anyway, care to say a little more about how Lea's been helping you?"

Isa takes a seat now he's more settled. "You study the heart. What do you know about love?"

Ienzo points at the bookshelf. "I can lend you some stuff on love if you'd like. I fear I'd keep you a long time lecturing you on it without you being more specific about the area of love you'd like to discuss."

"Tell me, have you personally ever experienced it?"

"Again, you haven't specified. One would assume that all children have felt love for parents – or parental figures. I would postulate that you might wish to turn that the other way round and tell me you're feeling a kind of parental love for the teenagers now in your care, but I'm guessing that's not the case."

"Perhaps I could feel that for Xion."

"Not Roxas?"

"We tolerate each other. But yes, I was referring to romantic love rather than platonic. Does your research cover that?"

"I suppose. Our distinctions aren't as clear-cut as that; it's the strength of the bond that's most important in matters of the heart. And to answer your question, no, I've never experienced the kind of romantic love you're asking about."

"Would I be better off talking to Even?"

Ienzo's lips quiver as he tries not to smirk. "Certainly not. Even is 'married' to his research. I doubt he's ever thought to take interest in anyone unless they were providing funding or materials."

"I assumed as much, but you never know. Perhaps in his youth…"

Ienzo shrugs. "He's never mentioned it. If such a person existed in his life I doubt he'd want to talk about it with anyone." _Let alone you_. "So, you're in love?"

"Did I say that?" Isa feels himself on the defensive already, even though that's what he's here to try and talk about.

"You've implied it so far. You and Lea always were close… It doesn't come as much of a surprise thinking back on it."

Isa sits there with a small pout. "Are you able to read me like a book?"

"I'm merely collecting information and drawing conclusions. Feel free to tell me when I'm wrong, but it sounds to me as if you've realised you have some feelings for Lea and now his presence soothes you in a way that keeps the darkness at bay. There have been so many cases of people being lights for others, and this is beginning to sound like a classic case where Lea is your light. And if you're still sharing a room then having him so close while you sleep will certainly add to the effect. Could you give me a rough frequency of nightmares this past month?"

"Maybe one a week? But, actually, since I thought about _this_ and accepted that maybe I _do_ have some feelings, I haven't had a single one."

"And you haven't told him?"

"I had a hard enough time admitting this to myself."

Ienzo puts a hand on his chin as he contemplates his next bit of advice. "You _are_ planning to tell him though?"

"At some point. Maybe."

"I think you should. I know I advised the journal as an outlet, but this is something you can share with the person involved, and I think it's the best course of action." Ienzo can tell Isa isn't happy with the advice. "In your own time, of course."

"Is there anything else you wanted to ask me?" Isa's had enough of this, even though he realises he brought it on himself.

Ienzo gets the message. "No, unless you had more to offer. If you've found the 'cure' to your nightmares then that's wonderful and I doubt we'll ask you to see us again." He stands and Isa follows suit. "Of course, if you ever want to drop by you're always welcome."

Back in the main office Lea and Xion are building a card tower from a deck Lea found in a drawer. Ienzo decides not to berate Lea for snooping around, knowing that it was likely harmless boredom.

"No Roxas?" Ienzo asks.

"Not yet." Lea sticks his tongue out as he gently places another card on the tower.

"Did Even go up to fetch him?"

"No idea."

"I left him in the lab," Xion adds.

"I'll go and check on them then." As he walks past he whips off his lab coat, enjoying the groan Lea lets out when the card tower topples from the slight breeze it creates. _Serves you right_.

"Where did Ienzo go?" Even is at the door, clearly having been listening out for when he returned.

Xion points up.

"Wait, Even. Can we have a quick chat?" Lea asks.

"Go on."

"I meant in private."

Even frowns. "What could you possibly want to talk to me about that can't be said in front of these two?"

Lea shrugs. "Something, I guess. You really still have a problem with me, huh?" He rubs his thumb over his fingers as if about to snap them.

Isa wastes no time in slapping Lea over the back of the head. "Stop that."

"What? I'll just wait for Ienzo, it's fine."

"Even has done so much for this family, so you should give him a break."

"Isa…you called us a family!"

He feels himself heat up. "Well, I – uh, that's what we are I guess? Oh, Even, please take him away for a few minutes."

Even raises his brows. "_You_ could always step outside if you need to rid yourself of him." Then he huffs. "_Fine_, I'll entertain you for a minute. But if you do _anything_ I don't like I won't have you in my labs again."

"Chill out, man, I don't take orders from assholes anymore." Lea puts a friendly arm around Even's shoulder which is quickly removed by the scientist.

"Well, what do you want?" Even demands as soon as the door closes behind them.

"How's Xion?" Lea asks.

"Fine. Nothing to report."

Lea hums as he folds his arms and walks a few steps further down the corridor. "Can we…?" He motions for Even to follow him.

"Would you just spit it out already?"

"Look, I know you don't like me, but it's not about me, it's about _them_. I'm asking you as one father-figure to another for a bit of help."

Even can feel his harsh exterior melting away; as much as he doesn't want to help Lea, he wants to do as much as he can for the children. He sighs and walks past Lea to swipe his access card to his lab, holding the door open for the other.

"What do you need help with?"

"This whole replica thing. Roxas came to me a while back asking questions like whether he'll age and mature, yadda, yadda – questions I had no idea how to answer. I know you've put their hearts into the replicas, but like, how far does it go?"

"If only I could tell you that…" Even sighs and can't look Lea in the eye. "I don't have enough data to tell you anything concrete – after all, the replica program has only been going for a few years now. Xion doesn't reside in the same kind of replica she originally did – I made improvements after Xehanort re-recruited me. Theoretically these replicas are human in every way once given a heart; they should grow with their users. However, until several years pass I won't truly know if I've succeeded in that aspect."

"What if they don't?"

"I can continue to build replicas in the hope that they will change…" Even pauses as a dark look crosses his face. "I have several theories prepared for if they don't age as you expect. One of which I could prove – should it be necessary – if I had a willing naturally conceived human volunteer."

"I'll do it."

Even laughs his haughty laugh. "You would? You don't even know what I'm asking."

"Anything for them."

"Admirable, but I shan't allow it. I know you'll laugh, but I'm trying to be more ethical in my approach to science these days. And besides, it's likely such an experiment would result in two of you running about – something I'd dearly love to avoid."

"Well, is there anything I can say to put his mind at ease?" Lea asks.

Even shrugs. "Emotional support isn't my forte. You can tell him what I've told you – that I expect my replicas to be perfect humans. What more could he want to hear?"

Lea nods. "And your theories for if he doesn't age?"

"Do you really want to know?" Even asks. "Perhaps it's best for everyone that I keep those to myself until – _if_ they're needed."

Lea stops leaning against the bench. "I guess. Well, thanks, Even. I'll get out of your hair now, as promised." He goes to push the exit button.

"Lea. If you do need any more help with those two…do get in contact." He won't lie and say he'd happily pick up a call from Lea, but he wants Lea to know he can if he needs to.


	8. Jumping Heart

It doesn't escape his notice that Isa's journal is suddenly on top of the pile of books on his desk after a few weeks of it being absent from sight.

It doesn't escape Lea's notice that Isa scrambles to hide something when he walks in the room.

And in the end, Lea catches him mid-sentence.

"Isa." He approaches from behind, placing his hands on Isa's shoulders, but it's too late to see what he was writing. "I'm worried about you. Has something happened?"

"No."

"Will you let me read it?"

"No."

"_Isa._"

"Lea, Christmas isn't far off now so I respectfully ask you to mind your own business."

"Oh, that's a good one." Lea gently massages Isa's shoulders. "But do you really expect me to believe you're writing that much about Christmas?"

Isa sighs. "I suppose not. But I promise you it's nothing bad."

Lea hums and taps his fingers on Isa's shoulders. "Alright then, but if it's anything - anything at all I can help with - let me know, okay?"

Isa pats Lea's hands. "I know."

The journal disappears from sight once more, and Lea forgets about it for the most part. Christmas comes all too quickly and there's lots of people visiting. Isa never expected quite so many people, but it turns out Lea asked around because he wanted Roxas' and Xion's first Christmas to be special.

But there's one visitor Roxas isn't particularly happy to see. They'd never really talked about Ven, but of course Lea had invited him as an old friend. He hadn't even considered not inviting all three of the so-called Wayfinder trio.

At first Roxas does his best to not interact with Ven, preferring to cast a glance over at him occasionally. Eventually Lea notices and tactically asks for his help with something in the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think..."

"Don't apologise. I've gotta get used to him some time."

"Yeah, but I should've asked you first before inviting him to your home."

"_Our_ home. Look, I just need a bit of time to process it is all."

Lea looks at Roxas uncertainly. This was clearly something Roxas had been putting off.

"I'm not mad or anything - don't look so concerned."

"Alright. You try not to look so, uh, bewildered when you look at him."

Roxas gives a short laugh. "I'll try. And Axel...thanks."

"For what?"

"For thinking about my feelings, and for...well, the fact you didn't think anything of inviting Ven in the first place. It says a lot about how you think of us as two different people."

"Well, you are. Ven's not nearly as moody as you!"

They both smile as they return to the gathering. Roxas pays more attention to Ven and the differences in their personalities rather than their appearances.

**333**

Xion is more observant than Isa thought. They spend the day together while Lea and Roxas are out doing their own thing. Lea said he had a few things he needed to talk to Roxas about and it was best done elsewhere, doing something, rather than just sitting at home. Isa didn't want Xion to feel left out, so they go to the ice cream parlour to try flavours that aren't sea salt to change things up.

"Have you told him yet?" Xion asks. "Axel, I mean."

"Told him what?"

"That you like him."

Isa almost spits out his mouthful of ice cream, which he realises only gives away everything. Still, he tries to play it off. "I don't know what you mean."

"Axel might not have noticed, but me and Roxas sure have. It's, uh, a bit obvious."

Isa's expression is unreadable. "Is it?"

Xion can't tell from the outside that inside Isa is screaming at himself. "Maybe it's because we live with you, but we've noticed lots of little things, and uh, the staring… Sometimes you gaze at him like you're enchanted or something."

Isa piles another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth; he feels like he might overheat without it. "But Lea doesn't know?"

Xion shrugs. "I don't know. Maybe? We haven't asked him about it. In fact, it was all just speculation until now."

Isa wants nothing more than to rewind time several minutes.

"Don't worry – I won't say anything." Xion smiles and Isa wants to believe her, but she only has to slip it to Roxas and –

"Wait. Is Roxas… Is he out there asking Lea about this right now too?"

"I don't know. We didn't discuss this, I just thought I'd ask while I had the chance. You helped me so much recently, I wanted to see if I could return the favour."

"And how did you expect to achieve that?"

Xion hums as she sucks her spoon clean. "Not sure. _You_ were always the ones with the plans and instructions. I thought you'd tell me how I could help."

"You can start by not telling Roxas any of this. If anyone's going to let it slip to Lea, it's him."

"So you don't want us to test the waters for you?"

Isa massages his brow. "Truthfully, Xion, I'm not sure I'm ready to say anything. Why would I change the way things are? If I say something and Lea doesn't feel the same way… It could make things awkward. We've already been in that territory once."

"That's why you use two kids who don't really understand these things to pester Axel with hypothetical scenarios and find out for you! Axel's so used to our silly questions that he probably wouldn't think twice about it, but if he does – then you have your answer."

In the end Isa agrees to the idea, unsure if it was a wise decision.

**333**

"Roxas." Xion points to the pair on the sofa. They're dozing, with Isa leaning on Lea's shoulder as he's grown quite fond of doing. It turns out that even a bakery job couldn't prepare Lea for coordinating Christmas day roast dinner. Luckily Isa had all the timings figured out for him.

Roxas smiles before turning back to the board game they're trying to figure out how to play, but Xion is already scuttling away.

She returns less than a minute later with something she dangles over Lea's head with a grin. Roxas squints as he tries to make out what it is – some kind of plant? Or a flower?

"What's that?"

"Mistletoe."

She gently nudges Lea awake who immediately notices the way Roxas is staring in his direction.

"Wus goin' on?" he asks, waking Isa in the process.

Roxas looks away, back at the cards in his hands, and fumbling for the instruction sheet. Xion's giggle alerts the men to her scheme as it hangs over their head. Lea chuckles as he spots it, looking over to see Isa is red-faced and staring straight ahead. _She never said anything about_ this, Isa thinks.

Without hesitation Lea leans in and kisses Isa's cheek before reaching up and taking the mistletoe from Xion.

"And one for you!" he kisses her forehead. "And you too, Roxas!"

Roxas makes a break for it, but Lea had been anticipating it, moving quickly to pin Roxas down and sweep his fringe out the way and plant the kiss.

"Everyone happy?" Lea asks with a laugh. "Honestly – your faces were a picture!"

"So embarrassing!" Roxas complains as he wipes his forehead. "I didn't want any part in this!"

"Well, that's what you get for trying to set me up like that. And look at poor Isa, he's gonna turn into a beetroot!"

"But you didn't do it properly!" Xion pouts. "Mistletoe kisses are meant to be proper, right?"

Lea shrugs. "A kiss is a kiss. Besides, aren't you kids a bit young for all this mistletoe business?"

"Well, we didn't get it for _us_."

Lea ruffles her hair. "_You_ didn't – I don't think Rox was in on this, was he?"

"He was there when the others were telling us all about Christmas traditions in Twilight Town. I thought it was better than just hanging it up."

"Yeah, a lot more fun. So, have you figured out this board game yet?"

"Just about," Roxas says, sweeping all the cards into a pile which he begins to shuffle. "Wanna give it a go?"

"Sure thing."

"You in, Isa?" he asks as he begins to deal.

Isa nods, settling into the space between Lea and Xion, just about recovered from the surprise of the mistletoe.

**333**

The pieces start to fit together. Lea has questions. Could he have misread the situation completely wrong? Does the journal have all the answers? Or is he following up on a theory of Xion's that has no basis?

He would ask Roxas, but it doesn't seem like the thing Roxas would know. He would ask Xion, but if she _does_ know something about this, then he doesn't want her to confirm any of his ideas - he wants Isa to do that himself.

"Can I ask what you've been writing about?" Lea asks while they make lunch. He figures it's best to ask at a time when Isa doesn't have to look at him, and can busy himself with something else.

"My feelings. That's what the journal's for. Ienzo suggested it originally."

"And do you feedback to Ienzo?"

"Certainly not."

Lea smirks. "So, I'm the only one who's been allowed to read it?"

Isa stumbles before he continues. "Well, sort of. I shared some carefully curated passages with those in Radiant Garden when you asked me to see them about the nightmares. But yes, you're the only person who ever had access to the full text."

The nightmares had substantially decreased in frequency much to Lea's pleasure, not that Isa had shared much about his experiences. Lea likened it to therapy, and figured it was a very personal thing that he didn't wish to discuss. And that was fine by Lea, as long as it seemed to be working.

"But it's back to, uh… Limited access?"

"'Off limits' would be more appropriate. I don't see what's so fascinating about my ramblings."

Lea returns the butter to the fridge, wondering if he had the guts to see this conversation to the end. Isa was so good at dodging and keeping his lips tightly sealed that he could be here a while. And what if he was wrong? Barking up the completely wrong tree? It was too early in the day to try and ply him with alcohol, even if there were a couple of bottles of wine about from Christmas.

"You know me, always a nosy bastard. I care about you, so I don't want you to bottle up your feelings, even if you're getting them out on paper. The paper doesn't write back."

"What if I don't need a reply?"

Lea turned it back on him. "What if you don't realise a reply is what you need? You know I do the same for the kids too. I took Roxas out the other day so we could have a proper chat, and it was really good. But you, Isa, you're so difficult sometimes. What's that phrase? Getting blood out of a stone?"

"Would it placate you if I picked some passages for you to read?"

Lea frowns. "No, it sounds like I'm forcing you. Sorry, I'll drop it."

"I appreciate that you care, but… Well, you'll find out in time, I'm sure."


	9. Mistletoe and Wine

It was weird to not have Roxas and Xion around on New Year's Eve, but he wanted them to spend as much time with the other kids in town before they all grew up and couldn't enjoy slumber parties as teenagers. On the upside it meant he could get a bit merrier than he otherwise would with Isa. There was an opportunity to invite others to join them, but Isa said he was more than happy for a quiet one with the two of them – especially after the amount of visitors they'd had over the course of December.

"Any resolutions or wishes for the new year?" Lea asks when the film they'd chosen finishes and it's a quarter to midnight.

"To be better than I was this year. And to apologise to Sora."

"Yeah, I hope he comes back soon. I wanna thank him."

"But I wish… I wish that our little family stays as happy as it is now."

"So do I. Nothing makes me happier than seeing you three happy."

"That's really sappy, Lea."

"I know. Apparently that's the kind of person I've turned out to be."

Isa motions to his empty glass. "Can I get you a top-up to see how much sappier you can get?"

"Isn't it a glass of champagne at midnight?"

"Something like that."

"Maybe it'll draw some sap out of _you_ too."

A smirk plays on Isa's lips as he thinks about what he's about to do. Xion had given him the instructions, and so far it's going according to plan. He goes out to the kitchen and tops up their glasses as he steels himself for the next bit. His heart is thumping in his chest, and he wonders if he's ever been so aware of its presence.

He stands on the threshold between the kitchen and the living room, looking at Lea with the glasses in hand. _Wait._ He glances up at the mistletoe Xion had put up. _How was I supposed to get Lea here?_

"Xion told me to put it up," Lea says when he notices Isa stuck in the doorway. "Don't you like it?"

"N-no, I –" He's becoming flustered already.

Without any work needed, Lea walks over, reaching up for the mistletoe. Isa quickly stashes a glass on the kitchen side and reaches up to stop Lea from taking it down.

"Huh? I thought –"

"Shut up." Isa downs the glass in his other hand. "I'm ready to talk now." Which isn't what he does, instead pulling Lea close and kissing him – _properly_ as Xion would say.

Lea looks flustered when Isa pulls away, both staring at each other with a blush across their cheeks. "Uh-huh…"

"_Uh-huh?_" Isa repeats. "That's all you have to say?"

"Well, you were the one who said he was ready to talk…"

"I – yes. I am." Isa comes to an abrupt halt, tears his gaze away from Lea's and takes a deep breath. "I…" He reaches for the glass he'd put on the side, but Lea is quick to intercept him.

"No, no, come, Isa, tell me with a clear-ish head."

Lea moves closer again, close to pinning Isa against the kitchen side.

"I can't."

"You just kissed me, Isa. Why?"

He takes Lea's hand and places it on his chest. "Because my heart told me to."

Lea doesn't have a quick comeback, but he's happy even if he looks like he might cry any moment. "…That's so cute," he whispers.

"So it's okay?" Isa asks. He'd been so worried about this moment – what if Lea didn't want to kiss him?

"Of course it is. I'm proud of you for working up the courage."

"Were you expecting this?"

Lea shrugs. "Kinda. I had an inkling."

"Did Xion tell you?!"

"Huh? No. I worked it out myself, but I wasn't sure. Are you telling me the kids knew before I did?"

"They're quite observant at times. Annoyingly so."

The sound of fireworks cuts through their words. Without a second thought Lea laces his fingers between Isa's and leads them back into the living room so they can watch through the window.

"Someone's a bit early." Lea nods at the clock. "Still got five minutes."

Isa doesn't watch the fireworks, preferring to stare at Lea, trying to figure out what else needs to be said. So much _hasn't_ been said, and he wonders how much can be left unsaid. Lea hasn't even aired his own feelings. Was Isa supposed to take that little exchange as reciprocation? _No, nothing even suggested that!_

He squeezes Lea's hand which he realises is still entwined in his own. "Lea… I need to know…" The redhead looks at him, but doesn't ask, only waits. Isa has a rising feeling of wanting to throttle him, looking so calm without a care in the world. "How do _you_ feel? About me," he clarifies before Lea comes up with a smartass answer.

"I love you too, Isa."

Isa stops breathing momentarily. _How can he just say it so plainly like that?!_ He grabs Lea by the front of his shirt. "And you never said anything until now?" His annoyance helps him to find words again.

"I suspect we were both putting it off." Lea smirks, knowing he's absolutely right. "Neither of us wanted to make things awkward when everything's going so well. I was always waiting for _you_ to say something because, well, you never seemed the romantic type so it was more likely to go wrong if _I_ spoke up first." He puts and arm around Isa's neck. "But we got there in the end!"

Many fireworks light the sky and Lea looks over at the clock. "Happy new year, Isa!"

Isa leans in close. "Happy new year, Lea." He's about to ask if he can kiss Lea again, but Lea gets the hint and closes the gap for him, and he wonders if he's ever been as happy as he is in this moment.

**333**

Isa's head aches when he wakes, and he goes to roll out of bed in search of water, only to find a wall. It takes a moment for him to process what's going on as he hears Lea chuckle beside him. _Right_, this is Lea's bed he's in. _Wait, what?!_

"Morning, Isa, and happy new year!"

Isa returns the greeting as he sits up, rubbing his temples. He remembered most of last night. He remembers kissing Lea, watching the fireworks, even deciding it was time to go to bed. But he can't remember whose idea it was to sleep in the same bed. God he hoped he hadn't done anything embarrassing…

"You okay there? Did you need some water?" Lea asks.

Isa nods, and Lea gets up to go fetch. Isa takes the opportunity to return to his side of the room.

"Didn't like my bed?" Lea asks when he returns, handing Isa a glass before flopping back onto his bed.

"Lea…" Isa pauses to gulp down the water. "_Why_ was I in your bed?"

"Well, I wasn't going to say no to you." Lea can't help but smirk. "You really don't remember, huh? I guess you did do about half that bottle…"

"I…I didn't do anything _weird_, did I?" Isa asks.

Lea has to try very hard not to burst out laughing, but a few snorts escape him. "_Everything_ you did was weird! I know you've been a bit more touchy since being recompleted, but last night was really…a lot."

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me and forget it happened."

Lea scoffs. "_Forgive?_ There's nothing to forgive. And I certainly won't be forgetting! Got it memorised, of course." Lea's expression darkens. "Unless, you mean that everything you said last night wasn't true."

"No, but…well…" Even if he couldn't remember all the details, he was pretty sure that the only things he would have said would have been pure unfiltered truth.

"Well, if you have a clear head, maybe you'd like to tell me what you think last night was all about."

Isa wants nothing more than to just throw his journal at Lea and take the easy way out. Vocalising his feelings was something he still couldn't get to grips with, especially not in this specific instance. _Doubt._ It plagues him. What if he's wrong? What if this feeling isn't love, but something else?

His silence lasts too long for Lea who comes over, sitting close enough that their thighs touch, and taking Isa's hand in his. "Look, Isa, last night you were all 'I'm ready to talk' but actually _I_ did a lot of the talking, and you… I don't know, maybe you were thinking a lot of things, but you didn't say many of them out loud. It'd be good for me to hear you say something about _your_ feelings." Lea gives a soft smile as he remembers his favourite bit of last night, and in a re-enactment, he puts Isa's hand over his heart. "What exactly did your heart tell you?"

Isa blushes furiously as he remembers he _did that_. _No, it was the drink_. He was sure Lea would reach the same conclusion. "My heart…" _Fuck it._ He might as well just come out with it, say something completely embarrassing, and do it all while his mind is still hazy enough to allow his lips to form the words. "My heart tells me I'm in love with you, Lea." Half of him wants to run from the room, the other half wants to collapse onto the bed.

Lea can't contain his happiness as he beams at the other, pulling Isa into a tight hug. "I'm proud of you!"

"What? Wasn't that the bit where you say something sappy back like 'I love you too'?"

"I already said that last night. But I wasn't sure you were ever going to use the L-word."

"What if I don't remember you saying it?" But of course he did.

"Then I'll tell you again – and get it memorized this time, okay? I love you, Isa."

It's strange, but just hearing that makes his heart flutter in a strange way he's not used to. "But speaking of things I don't remember from last night – will you tell me why I was in your bed?" He didn't want to believe himself a horny drunk, but he had to know.

"Well, you said you'd been thinking about it for ages, how you always wanted to do it…" Lea trailed off, watching as Isa's eyes widened in disbelief. "So of course I said yes!" There was the look of shocked confusion! "I'd been wanting to cuddle you like that too."

Isa exhaled until there was no more air left to exhale. "Asshole."

"What? _You're_ the one with the dirty mind if you thought I was talking about anything else."

"You knew what you were doing."

Lea hums. "I see, so you _have_ thought about it."

Isa frantically shakes his head. "No, no, I'm not – Lea, no."

Lea laughs as he ruffles Isa's hair. "Don't worry, my little tomato, it's a bit early for all that, right?"

"Don't even talk about it. I'm having enough trouble thinking about kissing you again."

"Then don't think about it."

Isa takes that as an invitation and leans in, a hand coming up to caress Lea's cheek as their lips brush.


	10. Young Dreamer

"Gross," Roxas says as he passes by the couple on his way to the kitchen.

Lea quickly lets go of Isa. "I thought you were happy for us?"

"Yeah, doesn't mean I want to see you two sucking each other's faces off." Roxas disappears into the kitchen.

"He's just jealous," Isa says.

"You really think?" Lea asks. Then he grimaces. "Isa, what was I thinking? Living with _two_ teenagers who're probably about to go through that lovey-dovey mopey teenage phase?"

"Roxas was always a mopey teenager, I don't see what difference it'll make."

"Hey, I can hear you, you know." Roxas sticks his head through the doorway. "I don't think I'm that mopey. Not anymore."

"Yeah, Rox isn't half as bad as our Organization days."

"Axel, you're meant to say I'm not mopey at all!"

Lea shrugs. "I don't know. You… Never mind." He doesn't want to bring up the Ven business again. "But Isa's right, someday soon you'll find someone you want to kiss, and then _you'll_ be the gross one!"

Roxas thinks he has a bit more growing up to do yet – more to learn about himself – before he looks at someone else like that.

**333**

Lea can't help but glance up when Isa enters the room, it's just a natural reaction to check who it is after all. But today his gaze lingers just a little longer when he sees that Isa only has a towel around his waist, using another to dry his hair. Before Isa notices his stare, he quickly looks back at his gummiphone – he was checking out the new pancake place Xion had mentioned. The photos of the pancakes makes him want to lick his lips, but he refrains in this instance, lest Isa catch him.

"Hey, Isa." Lea looks over, half wishing he hadn't because the way Isa's running a brush through his hair is showing off this chest and arms magnificently. "D'you wanna come to this pancake place with us?"

"_This pancake place?"_ Isa asks.

"Xion said it opened just a few days ago. We were gonna go take a look this afternoon."

Isa towel dries the ends of his hair, and Lea steals a few more seconds of drinking in the sculpted form in front of him. "I suppose it'll make a change from ice cream."

"I hear you can get ice cream with the pancakes."

"Sounds like they're onto a winning formula." He stands and stretches, and Lea wonders if he knows what he's doing. "When are we going? Should I have lunch?"

"I think the kids would be very happy with a pancake lunch."

Isa walks over to the wardrobe and pulls out a shirt. "Go tell them to get ready, and by the time Roxas is finished doing his hair my own will be dry enough for me to go out."

Lea pulls up the house group chat on his phone, feeling too lazy to get up, but also hoping for just a little more eye candy while it's on-show.

"_Lea._" Isa motions to the door. "I mean for you to _go_ and tell them, and give me a few minutes alone. Or were you hoping to see more than just my pecs today?"

Realising Isa had noticed him staring he springs up off the bed. "Sorry. Uh, I, uh – you've really worked on it, you know? Just admiring all those hours you put into it is all."

Before he can open the door, Isa pins him to it. "You were always good at lying. You know, you can just admit you want to look at me." He watches with pleasure as Lea's face flushes, as the redhead looks down, only to realise that means more staring at Isa's chest, and then deciding to look over Isa's shoulder at his growing laundry pile. Isa tuts. "It's polite to look at people when they're speaking to you." He uses a finger to steer Lea's chin into a good position before going in for a kiss Lea isn't expecting.

Isa smirks with satisfaction to know he definitely came out on top today. "I _am_ flattered, though."

Lea's senses return along with some confidence, and he slides his hands around Isa, going in for a very cheeky butt squeeze. "I'll tell you how good you look any time you like." What he really wanted to say was, _Jesus Christ, Isa, you're so fucking hot_, but he decided that might not be the best choice. Really he should have taken the opportunity to see how Isa would react to that kind of sentiment, but the moment was over.

"Out with you." Isa opens the door. "Those kids need to know about their pancakes."

Lea has to take a moment to compose himself before he makes his way down the hallway.

**333**

There's a tug on his hair, and thinking it's Lea looking for attention he ignores it, continuing to read a novel one of his clients had recommended. Being a personal trainer left a lot of room for talking idly about things, and he had really improved his small talk game in the last month. He's getting to the climax of the story, and as much as he's enjoying the sensation of fingers running through his hair, it's rather distracting.

"Lea." He throws his head back with a displeased look. "Huh? Xion?"

She smiles, amused Isa thought she was Axel who they both know got lumped with the Saturday shift. "Can we talk?"

He places his bookmark between the pages and puts it on the table. "Of course."

She perches on the arm of the sofa, looking a little lost at what to say, or perhaps how to start. "Um…can I play with your hair?"

It's a strange request, but he turns to give her access. He supposes there aren't many people she knows with such long hair that she'd ask such of thing of, and he certainly takes pride in maintaining his locks.

About a minute later she finally finds her words. "Isa, do you know what's going on with Roxas?"

"There's something going on? What kind of 'going on'?"

Xion shrugs even though Isa can't see. "I don't know. He won't talk to me about it – says he doesn't want to trouble me. I think that's why him and Axel have been going out without us."

_Ah. That._ "I won't lie and say I don't know, but I'm not sure it's my place to mention anything."

"Did he tell _you?_"

"No, Axel has to talk to someone else about problems, and I guess that's me." He realises he's said 'Axel' for the first time in months, but he doesn't correct himself, and he has a moment where he wonders if this is what it's like when parents call each other 'mum' or 'dad' in front of their kids. He hopes the kids don't secretly use his other name behind his back – well, he trusts Xion wouldn't, but imagines Roxas would if they had an argument.

"So I'm the only one who doesn't know…?"

He can hear the hurt in her voice, and now he's glad they aren't facing each other. "I was only told so Lea could bounce some ideas off of me – things to say, and things _not_ to say."

There's silence, and Isa finds he can't enjoy the feeling of her plaiting his hair right now.

"Look, Xion, it's not that Roxas doesn't want to confide in you, but…" He picks his words carefully. "The issues Roxas is having at present are issues you could face too. So he's protecting you from them by not planting their seeds in your mind."

Xion's hands come to a halt. "That's really worrying. I wanted you to say that it was just some teenage trouble that he needed some adult advice about, but clearly it's more serious than that."

Isa grimaces, realising he's probably said too much, despite saying hardly anything. Xion was always good at listening…

"It's something about Sora, or about our hearts and memories – which I guess is still about Sora. Or maybe he's worried about being a replica? Am I on the right track?"

Isa sighs. He hopes he can trust Xion to be subtle about the fact she knows when she sees Roxas next. "Roxas is going through a slight identity crisis – and yes, many teenagers do have a little phase like this as they go from child to adult, but Roxas… Well, I'm sure you understand some of this better than I do." He pauses, but she doesn't have anything to say yet. "Roxas is still on-edge about Sora's lack of return, which I suppose is only fair, and that was compounded by the fact Ven and his friends came by last month all smiles. I think he desperately wants the same for Sora, Riku and Kairi. But of course, seeing Ven again was another problem. It must be strange to have such a stark reminder of the fact you are not the unique person you think you are."

"Roxas is unique."

"I don't doubt that. In fact, I found his 'I am Sora' speech rather amusing. After having met them both it became quite apparent how different they were. Of course there were still similarities – Nobodies should resemble the person they originally were after all – but that was the first time I truly saw that Roxas was a special case. Still, the pair of you are essentially toddlers in the grand scheme of things, with no personal memories before the Organization took you in. I believe Ven reminds Roxas of that fact – not that he means to. Roxas seems not to dwell on that fact day-to-day here in Twilight Town, but if you see someone almost identical to you, and you know exactly why that is… I guess he can't help but remember and be brought down by that."

"I see... That is a very Roxas problem."

"You don't feel anything like that?"

Xion shakes her head, and remembering Isa can't see her, wags a lock of his hair. "I know I'm nothing more than a person built on memories. I guess I'm pretty lucky I don't resemble Kairi more or it might be harder. But now I'm my own person, and I'm really grateful that I get to exist at all. I think Roxas finds his existence harder to accept because he was a..." She hates how she's about to say it, but at least Roxas isn't here to hear it. "He was a real person - he was Sora - and now he's not. I'm just guessing, but maybe he finds it hard to see you and Axel recompleted with all your past memories. We don't get to have childhood memories and friends. And yet, for Roxas he does have a few memories of Riku and Kairi as his friends, except not..."

"Lea says he has dreams like that sometimes - of the memories that are both his, and yet not. How about you?"

"Yeah, sometimes. My dreams are always about Kairi if it's that kind of dream. But I'm okay with them - I feel like I'm getting to see something special, and I know they're not my memories or anything."

Isa hums.

"Please don't worry about me. I really have accepted everything, and I'm so glad I get another chance to exist with Roxas, and Axel, and you."

"But if you need to talk to someone, you know you can come to me, right?"

Xion's arms wrap around him from behind. "I know. Thank you, Isa."

He can feel her face against his back. "Alright, alright, enough of this. If you're happy with what I've told you let's talk about a lighter subject."

She squeezes him tight for a fleeting moment before taking the hint and letting go. "Okay, let's talk about you and Axel!"

"On second thought, let's talk more about these dreams of yours."

She pulls on his hair - not too hard, but enough that he lets out a yelp of surprise. "No. Roxas said he saw you smooching on the sofa."

He feels heat in his cheeks and once more he finds himself glad Xion is staring at his back rather than his face. "Maybe he did."

"So it's all going well?" she asks. "You guys never properly told us, you know."

"Oh, well... What did you want us to say? We're kind of dating now? It sounds...juvenile to me."

"It's better than nothing. You guys are like..." Her pause is long enough that Isa thinks up several possible endings which only get worse the more he lets his mind run. "...serious, right?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I...I don't want it to go badly. I'm sure - no, I _know_ you guys are made for each other, but I guess I'm just worried you'll break up and our little family will be torn apart."

That makes Isa's heart ache in a strange way. For a moment he feels choked up over the fact Xion cares that much about his presence here. "Lea and I always make up. I doubt anything could keep us from being friends if we managed to make amends after our rather bad falling out over the whole, uh, Xehanort business."

"Yeah, I guess."

"The worst thing that would happen is we'd have to move house if he didn't want to share a room anymore."

Xion hums and he feels her tie the end of his hair.

"So you really mean that?" he asks. "You like having me here?"

"Of course I do! You may not be as fun as Axel, but we need someone like you to make sure we don't go mad with power."

"I always thought it was _your_ job to keep Lea and Roxas grounded."

"Kind of, but it was always you back then who held us all in-check."

"Well if that's what I'm useful for, I guess I can live with that."

"Huh?" Xion worries she's said something wrong. "You're useful for all kinds of things! It's strange to say it, but you're kinda like a dad to us... You help us out all the time, and you care about us even if you don't always show it. Like now - listening to my worries even though I'm sure you've got a lot more of your own."

"I was joking, but I suppose I don't crack jokes often enough for you to tell the difference." A rare smile settles on Isa's lips. "It was nice to hear you say those things about me though, even if I'm not sure I want to be labelled as a dad at such an early age."

"You _could_ be a dad though."

"Yes, but not to two teenagers. Can't I be 'older brother' instead?"

"Me and Roxas are like one and a half."

"No."

"Yes, and you're too, uh...fatherly to be a brother."

"What's Axel then?"

Xion taps her fingers against Isa's back as she considers the question; it's a difficult one. "Older brother on dad duty. It's funny how things change. But you're all still my best friends." She waits for him to say something, and when he doesn't she adds, "Even you, Isa."

"Thank you." His voice sounds small and soft.

She places her hands on his shoulders and leans closer. "No, thank you, Dad, for listening." She considers kissing his cheek, but based on his reaction to the hug earlier decides against it. "I'll leave you alone now."

He picks up his book again and leans back against the sofa, feeling an unfamiliar sensation. Pulling his hair forward he finds that Xion has put it into three plaits, and he smiles.


	11. Castle of Glass

Sleepovers become a regular thing among the kids. They take it in turns to host, so one Saturday of the month Isa has to suffer having five noisy teenagers in his house – and yes, Xion becomes one of them at such times – but in return he gets three Saturdays kid-free, just him and Lea at home.

He enjoys these times for more than just the peace and quiet. He likes that he can say whatever mushy thoughts come to mind without a scornful look from Roxas, and he can steal a hug or kiss from Lea without embarrassing Xion. And he knows Lea feels the same way. Of course, Lea doesn't care too much about showing affection in front of the others, but he certainly tones it down because he knows how much it embarrasses Isa. Lea thinks it's funny that Isa's trying to maintain a somewhat stony-faced reputation among their closest friends.

Sunday mornings have never been lazier. Isa often invites himself into Lea's bed for a snuggle before they eventually agree to get up and have breakfast.

"You been working out?" Lea asks as he caresses Isa's arm.

"A bit." It's a silly question with a stupid answer; they both know he has to be in shape for his job.

"Good, I'm glad."

Isa smirks. "I thought you were always jealous of my ability to bulk up."

Lea thinks back to their time in the Organization, and the time he and Demyx walked into the gym and were immediately intimidated by a certain few other members who could clearly bench press them if they wished. "Eh, I've got other talents I've realised. But I'm glad you're doing what you're doing. To tell the truth I was worried when you first got here and let things slip a bit, so I was relieved when you figured out what sort of work you wanted to get into. And it's…" Lea looks away, "kinda hot."

Isa tries to conceal how flustered the compliment makes him. "Kind of?"

Now it's Lea's turn to flush, his face competing to match the colour of his hair. "Okay, a lot. As you said, it was something I once aspired to achieve, but was too lazy for. So, yeah, I quite appreciate what you've done there."

"Well, thank you. I do try."

"Sorry I can't match it, but hey, I've got a pretty face to make up for it."

Isa cocks a brow, not sure what Lea means entirely. "You're fine the way you are."

"I thought you were into…" Lea begins, but then realises that's an assumption he shouldn't have made.

"Do continue," Isa begs, interested in what Lea thinks of him.

"No, let's talk about something else."

"Yes, let's talk about what you think I'm into."

Lea pouts, but decides _fuck it,_ it's not often Isa goes anywhere near this topic. "Fine. I thought you were into your fellow gym buffs."

"Oh, really? What gave you that impression?"

"Well…" Lea realises he's got to be honest if he's going to get anywhere with this conversation. "Xemnas."

There's the stony expression Lea was expecting in return.

"Oh, come on, there's a reason we called him _Mansex_ behind his back." Not that anyone ever dared utter the name in front of Saïx. "Or are you saying you didn't find him attractive?"

"It's complicated. My feelings have changed a lot since then." Now that Xehanort has no hold over him. "I don't really want to talk about it."

Lea wants to respect Isa's wishes, but he has to know. "So you didn't love him?"

"Nobodies don't _love_." Isa sighs, deciding it's best to get this out of the way now. "The Superior and I went in search of something that made us feel something. We could feel pain – physical pain, I mean – so why not pleasure too? He was a good lover, even if afterwards I felt just as empty as before. Perhaps even more so, if that was possible."

Lea picks up on how Isa still refers to Xemnas with a title, but that's quickly pushed from his mind when Isa confirms that the rest of the Organization's theory had been absolutely correct. No one had ever been able to provide undeniable proof of the relationship, but Lea had a lot of faith in the titbits Xigbar provided, even if everyone else thought he was just stirring the pot.

"But he wasn't your type?" Lea probes as he slides a hand under Isa's shirt, pushing it up to reveal his stomach. His abs aren't as defined as they used to be now Lea's been feeding him all sorts of goodies from the bakery.

"I, uh…I don't know. As you say, everyone thought him attractive. I guess some people are just universally pleasing, but does that mean that's my _type?_"

A single finger delicately traces the skin from Isa's navel to his waistband, up and down. "Maybe? Surely _you_ know what you like?"

"I like you."

"You like lanky me? With my noodle arms and receding hairline?"

Isa brushes a hand through Lea's hair. "It's not that bad, and you make it look very good. If you had a problem with it I'm sure you'd do your hair differently." He leans over to kiss the redhead. "But yes, you're very pleasing to my eyes. You may not hone your physique the same way I do, but you take a lot of pride in your appearance, and it shows. You're very beautiful, Lea."

It's one of the rare times Isa gets a proper flush out of Lea while retaining the upper hand.

Lea's finger begins drawing circles around Isa's navel as they lapse into silence. Isa enjoys the moment, smiling down at Lea. His hand begins to roam again, slipping under Isa's shirt once more, caressing that wide chest Isa has worked so hard on. He tries to be subtle about the way he brushes intentionally past the nipples, but Isa shoots him a look that says he's very much aware of what Lea's up to.

"That's enough." Isa pulls Lea away by the wrist.

"Not a fan?"

"No, it's… I'm not ready."

Lea cocks a brow, not having expected such an answer.

"I just need…" Time to prepare. Time to make sure he's not an emotional mess. Time to process that Lea actually wants him.

"Don't worry. We don't even have to…"

Isa finds it laughable, but the sentiment is appreciated. "No, I want to, just not right now."

"Alright, you let me know then." He pats Isa's stomach. "Breakfast?"

Isa nods. Since when had Lea become so good at diffusing awkward moments?

**333**

Xemnas stands there with his ethereal blade hovering above Lea's cheek, the threat of death hanging in the air. Saïx watches on, not moving a muscle as Xemnas pulls his arm back, ready to deliver the blow. Isa is screaming for it to stop, but he can't move. He can't stop Xemnas, nor can he force Saïx to move.

For the nth time he's forced to watch Xemnas cut down his friend, his brain torturing him with a reality that never happened. A reminder that Xion came to Lea's rescue, and that he had stood by, ready to let it unfold as Xemnas intended.

Tears prick at his eyes as he lays there staring into the darkness, but comforted by Lea's light snores. All he wants is to hold the other, to know he's definitely there. To know they're still in Twilight Town, not the Realm of Darkness. He slips out from under the duvet and crosses the room to Lea, finding himself a space next to him. Lea stirs and reflexively wraps an arm around Isa.

"You okay?" Lea asks.

"Bad dream. Can I stay with you?"

The single bed is cramped with them both, but Lea says, "of course," and pulls Isa close.

The rest of the night is dreamless, and Isa is greeted in the morning with a kiss.

**333**

Isa walks into the house, glad to see no signs of life; the kids are at school and Lea is still at work. He trudges up the stairs, the weight of his coat familiar yet forgotten, and begins to unzip it.

"Isa?" Lea's tone is one of concern as he looks up from his gummiphone.

"_Lea?!"_ Isa's eyes widen in surprise as if he's a deer caught in headlights. There's no way for him to pretend he isn't guilty at this point. "What are you doing home?"

"Power cut. I guess you've been elsewhere though." Lea looks at the coat, wondering _why?_

"Yes." He continues to unzip the coat, shrugging it off his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. On reflection that probably would have looked quite appealing to Lea seeing as he's shirtless beneath, but Isa's too busy bundling the coat up and throwing it into the closet, and Lea's too busy worrying about what all this means. Isa throws on a shirt and sits on his bed, pulling off his boots and kicking them under and out of sight.

"Well?" Lea asks when Isa appears to be finished hiding things.

"Can't a man wear a coat?" Isa asks. "You wore yours for a long time after you were recompleted."

Lea's face says it all – _do you think I'm an idiot?_ "Isa… I thought we were past the secrets?"

Isa puts his head in his hands. "I know – we are. But I don't like disappointing you." He feels a weight next to him and a hand on his shoulder.

"Maybe I will be disappointed, but it'll be nothing compared to the disappointment I'd feel if you were keeping something cooped up that I could help with. Will you at least tell me where you went?"

"I went back to the castle. To the World That Never Was," he clarifies.

Lea nods, knowing what Isa's worried about. "And you used a dark corridor to get there?"

"It was the natural choice. Besides, there are certain areas within the castle that can only be accessed via corridors, so why not? I took all the necessary precautions – I even took a train out to the beach to avoid leaving traces near our home."

"Why did you want to go?"

"It was Even's idea. He said that maybe if I went back I could finally put all this behind me." Isa takes Lea's hand in his. "And I did find some kind of closure, I think. It was strange to walk those empty halls and hallways, knowing none of you were around, not even dusks wanted to go near that place. But at the same time, not seeing a soul there was exactly what I needed – to know that it was over for good. To know that Xehanort wasn't plotting another scheme within the closed off Round Room, or some other dark being come to take his place."

"I wouldn't have stopped you," Lea says. "You didn't have to sneak about like that."

"I was worried you wouldn't approve."

"If it's what you need, it's what you need. But yeah, I probably would have said 'take a gummi ship' or something."

Isa hums. "And yet you were using dark-"

"Stop comparing us and my bad habits. You know, I couldn't consistently summon my keyblade until I stopped using those things to travel. Hard habit to break, but it's really for the better."

"Well, it was a one-off for me. I don't need to go back."

Lea smirks. "So, you'll get rid of the coat? Maybe give it to Ansem or something?"

Isa matches Lea's expression. "Of course, we can hand them in together."

Lea laughs. "Not a chance. That coat's a very valuable item and I'll be hanging onto it in case I ever need some munny fast."

"I see. Best we hang one to two then, wouldn't you agree?"

"Roxas and Xion still have theirs – we'll be rich the day we part with them."

Isa chuckles, wondering if any of them would ever give up their coats. They were probably the comfiest pieces of clothing any of them owned, but the real reason to keep them were the memories. Not all good memories, but certainly a reminder of what they had been through – and in some cases, where they had come from.

"So, you're okay?" Lea asks.

"Yes, very much so."


	12. Valentine's Day

Roxas doesn't particularly look forward to Pence's Valentine's movie marathon, but he trusts Pence's judgement when it comes to films, and it's far preferable to staying home and having to witness whatever Axel and Isa are planning for the day. It's one of the few times that Roxas doesn't ask what Axel's plans for the weekend are, but Xion does instead.

"A romantic dinner, maybe a movie. Not really sure…" Lea says.

"You didn't plan anything?!" Xion seems disappointed.

Lea shrugs. "It's not _that_ important. It's just another day, and it's not like I don't show Isa how much I love him every other day of the year."

"I guess…" She'd been reading up on Valentine's Day and had let herself get swept up in some of the ideas she'd had about it. "Still, you should try and make it a little more special, right? There's all kinds of once-a-year things around at the moment you should take advantage of."

"Like the love heart-shaped ice cream? Do you know you actually get slightly less ice cream for the same price?" Sure he could be a hopeless romantic, but he was also quite stingy at times.

Roxas comes down the stairs, bag slung over his shoulder. "Let's get an ice cream on the way. Sometimes the shape of food makes it taste better, you know."

Both Lea and Xion give him a disbelieving look. "Okay, Rox…"

"It's true! Once I had this chocolate shaped like a dog and… Oh, forget it, I can see you don't get it."

Xion changes her expression to a smile. "Come on, let's try the heart ice cream and maybe I'll understand. I heard it's pink, but it's still sea-salt."

"Alright, let's go."

Xion nods, but first runs to the bottom of the stairs to yell "BYE, ISA!" in the hope he can hear it over the noise of the shower. "Have fun, Axel."

"You too."

Once they're gone he thinks about what Xion said, and it dawns on him that if they are going out tonight he probably should have booked a table a week ago. It was one thing to go out on Valentine's night, it was another for that day to also be a Saturday. He waits for the sound of the bathroom door and catches Isa at the top of the stairs.

"Hey, are we going out later?"

"I thought that was the plan?"

"Just checking." He immediately gets on the phone, and with a simple 'I want to speak to the manager' manages to get Scrooge to fit them in. It sure was good to be a friend of Sora.

**3**

Everything in town is romantic this evening, and it makes them both feel lighter. The town is full of couples roaming about between restaurants, sitting on benches, and dancing for a busker who knows she's going to make a fortune tonight. Nothing is different really, but the atmosphere makes it seem like they're viewing the town through a rose-tinted lens.

The Bistro is jazzed up for the occasion, with tasteful decorations and a string quartet playing live. There's a special menu for tonight full of large dishes to share, and Lea's thankful that they have similar tastes.

"What should we do after this?" Lea asks over their dessert of molten chocolate lava cake.

"What do _you_ want to do?" Isa asks, clearly unsure himself.

"I thought maybe we could watch a movie. They're doing some special showings at the back alley cinema, or we could go home and watch something in comfort."

"I'd rather go home," Isa says. He doesn't expand, but Lea knows Isa isn't a fan of public displays of affection, so home is preferable. Still, he's happy to walk home hand in hand with Lea.

When they get to the station they stop to climb the clock tower and admire the stars, something they hardly ever do.

"Do you know the stars are all worlds out there?" Lea asks as he gazes up, trying to pick out the brightest among them.

"Is that so? I thought that was a story told to children."

"Yen Sid said it, so it's gotta be true, right? _One sky, one destiny -_ that's what Kairi told me."

"So, which one's Radiant Garden?"

Lea chuckles. "I don't have some kind of constellation map, but I reckon it's _that _one." He points up at one of the brighter stars. Isa squints as he tries to figure out where Lea is pointing, leaning in closer until his chin rests on Lea's shoulder and he follows his finger to the star.

"I see. Feels about right."

"Really?!" Lea seems pleased, and Isa realises Lea hadn't just picked a random star after all, but one his heart chose.

"Yeah." He leans in and kisses Lea's cheek before resting against his shoulder and looking down at the lit-up town below them.

Lea puts and arm around Isa and pulls him closer as they enjoy the view. It's several minutes before Lea says, "Kinda chilly."

"It's nice," Isa disagrees. "Especially with you next to me."

Lea tries to sit in Isa's lap, but it's too dangerous at this height. "Let's do this again in the summer."

**3**

Their film collection is modest, but Pence made sure they received some of the classics for Christmas, and about half of their current collection is on-loan from him. Lea is perusing the selection when arms wrap around his waist.

"What are we watching?"

"Dunno. Looks like Pence lent us a bunch of action films. Guess they might be kinda romantic if someone's being saved by the hero?"

"Maybe we should skip the film then."

"Did you have something in mind instead? Maybe a game?"

Isa's hand slides under Lea's shirt. "Maybe I did have something else in mind…"

"O-oh… You did?" Lea tries to keep his voice level as Isa kisses his neck and his hand climbs higher.

"I want you, Lea."

Every other thought goes out the window as Lea turns on him, pulling him into a deep kiss as he manoeuvers them towards the sofa. Isa's core is strong enough that he's able to lower them onto it without breaking a sweat, and Lea thinks this is just like in the movies. Isa doesn't pull away or ask to stop as things begin to heat up and hands end up in blue hair, and that's when Lea knows he's serious.

Lea's the one who pushes Isa away, which is a first. "Alright, I can see who's got the bigger lung capacity here," he says after a few deep breaths.

Isa smirks and inhales deeply, puffing out his chest. "Not here, though. I feel really weird doing anything in a shared space…"

"God, you're talking like this isn't your house too," Lea complains.

"Other people have to sit here. Don't you feel just a little bit weird about that?"

Lea can't believe they're having this conversation, but Isa always did have little unexpected quirks like this. Maybe it stemmed from his cleanliness obsession. "You know, as someone who has enjoyed a wank on this very sofa, no."

Isa frowns. "I see. A bed would be comfier."

"I'll give ya that." He removes himself from Isa. "Race you upstairs!"

Isa's pleased to see that Lea is as excited as he is, and finds it amusing that Lea's just standing there in the middle of the room, undecided which bed he should opt for.

"Yours," Isa says.

"Don't fancy washing your own sheets?"

"As if I don't do all your washing for you anyway." Isa starts undoing the buttons of Lea's shirt. "I like that your bed smells like you."

Lea doesn't get why that would matter if he's going to be there smelling of himself anyway, but he doesn't press the matter now that Isa's attempting to undress him. His hands quickly move to catch up.

"God, you're so beautiful, Isa." Lea can't help but spend a bit of time admiring Isa's chest. His hands cup his pecs before squeezing his shoulders and arms.

Isa's not taking much notice, intent on ridding Lea of his stupidly tight trousers before pushing him onto the bed. Unfortunately the trousers really are _that_ ridiculous that they won't just fall down as intended.

"Lea." Isa's tone is commanding. "Get. Those. Off."

He snaps out of his enchantment with Isa's toned body and does as he's told. Isa can only watch and wonder why anyone would wear things that took so much trouble to get off. By the time Lea's done, Isa has already rid himself of everything, waiting somewhat impatiently.

Lea's eyes widen slightly when he looks up from where he's ended up sitting on the end of the bed, eye level with a half-hard dick. "Oh, we're skipping straight to naked, are we?"

Isa doesn't reply, pushing Lea down onto the bed, slowly sliding his briefs off. "Did you have a problem with that?"

"No. Unexpected was all." Lea's hands resume where they'd left off, beginning to massage a nipple between his fingers. "But while we're talking about problems, is there anything off-limits? Feel like maybe we should have had this chat before we ripped our clothes off…"

"No. You can have all of me, but usual restrictions apply."

Lea nods, knowing that means no scar-touching. Not a difficult place to avoid.

"Anything I should know about you?" Isa asks, wondering if there was anything he didn't know about Lea that would come to light now.

He points to the chest of drawers beside the bed. "Supplies are in the second drawer. I don't know what you were planning, but what was it…_wrap it, don't risk it_ or whatever the slogan was. Not saying that either of us are dirty bastards, but you never know. And of course, if you wanna stop just tell me."

Isa chuckles. "Somehow I don't think that'll be happening. But I do have one question before we start now you've made me think about it; how many people have you slept with?"

"You wanna ask me that _now_?"

"I'm curious." Isa gently trails his fingers up and down Lea's body as an incentive. "I'd guess at least two."

"What makes you say that?"

"I once overheard you talking with some of the others." It's clear he means Organization members. "It was heavily implied you'd been with a man and a woman at some point."

"And you remembered that? How long have you been interested in me, Isa?"

"You should answer my question first." He pins Lea's hands above his head as his other hand continues to trace skin further south.

"I forget the number. Less than ten, but more than five." Lea lets a gasp out as Isa brushes his dick for the first time. "Does that disappoint you?"

"No, I expected something like that, but I must say I expected you to have that number memorized. It's good that one of us has a bit more experience."

"So I'm right to guess I'm your second?" Lea can't help the smirk on his face.

"It would seem so, but let's not talk about that. Let's talk about _this_. Or better yet, let's not talk at all, because I want your mouth on mine."

Lea finds it amusing how quickly Isa changes the subject, but he doesn't need to be told twice, especially when Isa takes hold of his dick and strokes him, eliciting a moan. It's strange to think that until now Isa's touches had always been quite chaste and platonic, to the point Lea had wondered if Isa would ever desire anything more than a hug and a kiss.

"Isa…let go." Lea tries to pull his wrists free.

Isa doesn't react quick enough, distracted by the way Lea sounds now he's turned on and slightly breathless.

"_Isa…_" Lea pouts. "I wanna touch you too."

He lets go, realising that's exactly what he wants right now. Lea starts with feather-light touches and it drives him wild, making his hips buck involuntarily. His lips find Lea's again, moaning into the kiss as Lea's touches become more substantial.

"_Lea…_" Isa begs for more, and Lea finally wraps a hand around his dick and pumps him properly. "_Fuck…_"

"Oh, _that's_ hot." Lea smirks up at him. "Not often I get to hear you swear. Can I expect some more roughness to come out tonight?"

"Is that what you think?" Isa's finger teases him as light as a feather.

"No, but I'm sure you _could_ be. I mean, I'd be disappointed if you said the muscles were all for show."

"Tell me, how much have you thought about this?"

"A fair bit." He wasn't sure Isa needed to know that nearly every wank was over him.

"And how would you like it to go?"

"Oh, Isa, how many different ways it could go… I wouldn't be disappointed with any of them."

"Good." He had no intention of doing anything that could be classed as 'rough' and now he knows Lea won't be disappointed with that he removes Lea's hand and begins to stroke them both at once.

Lea stops him. "Ever heard of lube?" He reaches over to the bedside table and opens the second drawer, taking out a bottle of lube and squirting some into his hand. "I didn't mean _that_ kind of rough."

"What else is in there?" Isa wonders aloud.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Lea pops the lube back in the drawer and pointedly closes it. "Let's save that for another time."

That makes Isa really curious, and he wishes he'd looked in that drawer at some point. It makes him realise that Lea's managed to find time to jack off in his own bed when Isa's been out, something Isa had never been comfortable enough to do. Perhaps it was because it was Lea's room originally, or maybe the fear of being caught.

When Lea's hand continues what he'd started he realises exactly what he's been missing during his shower wanks. Isa attempts to take over again, but Lea doesn't want to give up; he's hoping to hear Isa moan, and he feels that's not going to happen if Isa has control of the rhythm.

"Lea, please." It's breathy and craving, and exactly what Lea was hoping for. Why stop at wishing for a moan when he could possibly have his name moaned instead?

"Aren't you enjoying this?" Lea smirks.

"Y-yes, but I'm not going to last…"

That only spurs Lea on even more. "Really? I thought you'd have a bit more stamina than that. But I guess I'm just _that_ attractive."

He wants to push Lea away, but he doesn't have the will to do it, especially not now his dick has full control of his brain. "Usually I _do_ last longer, but…"

Isa lets out a moan he tries to supress and it sets Lea on fire. A quick downward glance confirms that he hasn't pushed Isa over the edge just yet, and he slows down, waiting to hear what else Isa had to say. "…But?" At the top of his wish list is Isa calling him sexy, or something akin to that.

"It's been a while… And it's _you_."

That's close enough, Lea thinks, and he feels his heart pounding in his chest when he notices the way Isa's looking at him with so much love, but also lust.

"I love you so much." Isa caresses his cheek. "But really, Lea, I'm going to come sooner than you think if you keep this up."

"Hmm?" Lea smirks, realising that he doesn't mind if it ends sooner rather than later if he gets to see Isa spent and a mess. He moves so he's straddling Isa's thighs, in prime position to watch his lover come undone, attention now completely on Isa.

"L-Lea, slow down, I'm not going to last," Isa begs, a hand taking hold of Lea's wrist, but he doesn't even attempt to actually pull him away.

The action highly amuses Lea and he pauses for dramatic effect. "What was that? Faster, did you say?"

Despite the warning, Lea is surprised when Isa decorates his abdomen and chest in cum less than a minute later. "Well…" It sure was an impressive display.

"I told you."

Lea shrugs. "This is exactly the kind of image I wanted to see." He stares down at Isa, spent and panting. Perhaps he didn't get the moans he was after, but there was always next time.

"Stop, I'm embarrassed enough as it is."

"_Please_. This is as hot as it gets. Although I was hoping we'd come at the same time." He runs a finger across Isa's abs, coating it in cum.

"Don't be so disgusting," Isa says when Lea goes to lick his finger clean. He pulls open the drawer Lea had opened earlier – of course there was a box of tissues in there, which he throws at the redhead. "If you're offering."

"Disgusting?" Lea asks as he takes some tissue. "It's _your_ mess."

Isa watches as Lea takes time and care to wipe every last drop up, and he can't help but think how much he loves this man. Now his body is sated his mind moves on to the emotions behind their actions, and finally he understands how much more meaningful this is when you have a heart.

"You just gonna stare? Or you gonna help me out?" Lea's stroking himself half-heartedly.

Isa switches their positions so Lea's lying on the bed; it's time to treat his partner properly. His trail of kisses down Lea's body would have been much better earlier on, but each one still excites Lea. Any touch Isa offers is treasured and most welcome, and the fact he doesn't know what's coming makes it all the more exciting.

"_Holy fuck."_ Lea whispers when he feels Isa's lips around his dick. He certainly hadn't expected Isa to be quite as out-going on the first day. "Isa…"

"Mm?" The vibration is extremely pleasant.

"I love you." He wants to ask where Isa learnt to suck dick this well, because no novice would use their tongue like Isa's doing. But Lea has a feeling he already knows the answer and is better off never enquiring.

There's a smile in Isa's eyes as he looks up at Lea, and Lea feels his heart skip a beat. They don't break eye contact, and Isa's eyes narrow in a mischievous way as he slides up Lea's dick, letting it out of his mouth with a pop. Slowly his tongue circles the tip, and Lea can't help but close his eyes as he fights off the urge to release right then.

"Isa…"

He sucks on the head while a thumb and forefinger lightly pump the shaft. Lea groans in frustration at how slow Isa's going, and knowing that he feels no reason to speed up now he's satisfied.

"Please, Isa, just a bit faster."

"You sound like you're enjoying it." Of course he'd always enjoyed being in a position of power, and this one was certainly most rewarding. And he knows if Lea denies it then he's lying, because his hips keep twitching as he tries to keep from pushing further into Isa's mouth.

"Should've known you'd be one to enjoy torture." It's a low blow, and he's not sure if it's a good jest, but his dick's telling him to say anything to make Isa give him what he wants.

Isa decides not to punish Lea for that jibe, just in case he actually does believe it. Besides, he wants nothing more than to please Lea, and for Lea to maybe praise him after. He returns to blowing Lea in earnest, and the surprise is evident in Lea's moans. Although it's music to his ears, he realises there's no way they could ever do this if the kids were home if Lea's always this loud.

"Isa, I'm gonna come."

Which is a shame, because Isa really wants to hear Lea say more things in that voice – the breathlessness, the desire – it sounds like something he could listen to over and over. Of course the best is yet to come, which he only has to wait moments for – to hear the moan Lea releases as he climaxes, and feel the way his body goes taut before relaxing. Isa continues to nurse Lea's dick, slowing gradually to a halt. Then he comes to lay beside Lea, placing a hand on his chest, feeling the way it rises and falls, and the strong beat of the heart within.

Lea grins at him. "What were you saying like five minutes ago? Eating cum is disgusting? I'm surprised at you."

"It's different," Isa insists.

"Sure. I mean, I'm not complaining, I just had you down as a spit guy."

"Lea?"

"Mm?"

"Shut up." Isa curls in closer. "Just enjoy the moment."

Lea does as he's told, a smile playing on his lips as he tangles his fingers in blue hair.

Isa entwines their fingers. "I love you, Lea."


	13. Blue Sky

The pair are woken by shouting down the hall – Xion by the sounds of it. Lea goes to get up, but Isa is stuck to his side and unwilling to let him go. He tries to get up again, but Isa just huffs.

"What if she's in trouble?" Lea asks.

"She can handle herself. Besides, Roxas is closer." He nuzzles his face against Lea's chest.

The moment doesn't last as they hear hurried footsteps before the door flies open, Xion and Roxas rushing in with big smiles. "Sora!"

There's a brief pause as the kids assess the situation they've just walked in on, Roxas making a face when he realises Isa's definitely shirtless under the duvet, but Xion doesn't seem to care, adding a third person to Lea's single bed.

"Look!" She holds out her gummiphone towards them.

They both shrink back from the light of the screen, but when their eyes adjust they can see a photo posted on Kingstagram, and it's of Sora and Riku.

"Wha…?" Lea takes the gummiphone and squints. It's certainly not an old photo. "Wait, _Sora_ posted this?" He scrolls down to see the caption, and the comments beneath it. "Holy shit."

"Isn't it great?" Xion can't seem to stop smiling.

"Yeah… I can't believe it."

Roxas doesn't seem fazed. "It was only a matter of time. There's no way Riku was going to fail."

"I didn't think you were a fan," Lea jokes.

"I'm not." He's still sore from their fight. "But I know Riku would do anything to get Sora back."

"So, where is he?" Lea asks. "It's gonna be one hell of a welcome back party, right?"

**333**

The gathering is full of happiness and joy and love. And he feels like he shouldn't be there. Everyone else deserves to be there, but he doesn't. So he sits in the corner and watches as everyone else congratulates Sora on his return, and Riku on his success in getting him back. In the end it's easier to just play a game on his gummiphone and wait for Lea to say it's time to leave.

"Hey." Lea slides into the seat next to him. "Too much for you?" Isa had never been one for gatherings like this.

"Yeah. I'm out of place here."

"Nah, you're one of us now. You'll get there in time. Took me a while to get used to it too after being a bit of an ass to some of these kids."

"_A bit?_" Isa scoffs. "If that's how you describe yourself, then what does that make me?"

Lea waves his hand. "Don't quote me like that. I'm mainly here for Roxas and Xion. Look at how happy they are."

Isa had noticed of course. He couldn't recall a time Roxas looked so happy to see someone, having missed other reunions. Xion was happy too, her smile competing with Roxas's to be the brightest. He worried she might be wrong about her feelings - that she might react to Sora the way Roxas reacted to Ven, but she was just as she promised she would be - happy to exist at all, regardless of how that existence came to be.

"So, do you mind if I join you in the quiet corner?" Lea asked.

"Of course not. At least I can pretend I'm socialising now you're here."

They get lost in their conversation, and Isa forgets where he is at some points. He's too busy talking about anything and everything with Lea – whether they should redecorate their room, what Lea wants to bake next, who would win the next Struggle Tournament. At one point Isa wonders how he can talk to one person about so many things and not tire. He doesn't even realise when they have company as he's too busy caressing Lea's hand while he listens to Lea wax lyrical about this new dessert the ice cream parlour has made – something he's had the privilege to try before release as a loyal customer and fellow retailer.

"Leave them alone for two minutes and this is what you have to put up with," Roxas's voice cuts through Isa's daydreaming about this mochi ice cream.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Isa shoots at Roxas, only now realising that Xion and Sora are also there.

"Nothing. Just letting Sora know you're a right old pair of saps now."

Sora laughs and gives Roxas a playful shove. "Aw, leave them alone. Just because you haven't got anyone to be sappy with!" He ducks out of the chair in the nick of time to avoid Roxas's fist.

"_I_ don't want to be a sap, unlike some people." They're all stifling a laugh, and Roxas pouts. "What's so funny?"

No one wants to say what they're thinking, but Sora's up to it. "Well, Roxas, if you're anything like me you'll become a sap eventually."

"Ha! Firstly, thank you for admitting you're one of them. And secondly, I really feel like this is one personality trait we don't share."

Sora looks over at Ven in the distance, but quickly snaps back to the people he's with; Roxas made it quite obvious he still wasn't comfortable with being compared to his look-alike. But the fact he doesn't seem to mind being compared with his Somebody made Sora feel very content. It felt very much like he'd gained a brother, or something akin to that.

"Anyway," Sora says with a grin, "Roxas said you've gotta head back soon – he said you work in a bakery, Axel."

"That's right."

"And you didn't bring anything?" Sora frowns.

"Ah, well, short notice and all that. Surprised you're still so full of energy." Lea runs a hand through his hair. "Come over to ours some time and I'll make sure I show you the best cakes and pastries you've ever had."

Sora beams at the idea. "I'll be there. Thanks for coming today, it really means a lot to me that you'd all just turn up now you have lives and stuff…"

"I don't know, think I might drop out of school and do some keyblade wielder stuff…" Roxas says.

Sora puts a hand on Isa's shoulder. "And you too, Isa, thanks for everything."

Isa looks up at Sora, a little wide-eyed. He'd been watching this exchange, feeling as if he wasn't there, just a spectator. And yet, Sora – _Sora_ – had taken time to come over and says thanks and goodbye. It threw him out of sorts to have Sora smiling at him like that – casually patting him on the shoulder like that. Didn't the boy remember what an asshole he'd been? And even more jarring is that while he'd called Lea 'Axel' – because that's how he'd known Lea, right? – he'd called Isa by his real name. Who told him that? Someone had told Sora how he hated hearing his Nobody name, and Sora, being the lovely human he was, had listened and not just addressed him with the only name he'd ever known him by.

It took a moment for him to recover.

"No, Sora, thank _you_." He returns the smile, albeit not as wide as Sora's.

Lea watches on with happiness in his eyes, glad to see Isa managed to reply and not cease to function.

**333**

If anyone had asked Lea what day it was, he would have said it was Christmas by the way Roxas and Xion were acting. The pair were as excited as anything for Sora, Riku, and Kairi to visit – which Lea found surprising seeing as neither of them had particularly good memories of Riku. Perhaps he'd won them over at the party, or Sora had put in a good word for him?

"What are you making?" Roxas asked as he poked his head into the kitchen.

"None of your business." He pushed Roxas out, closing the door once more.

Moments later Xion walked in with an empty glass. Before she could survey the goods on the worktops Lea took the glass from her and stood in her way, making it quite obvious she should turn around and leave. He filled the glass and handed it back to her where she was waiting right outside the door.

"Guys, come on, it's less than an hour until they arrive. Can you not just amuse yourselves a bit longer?"

"But Axel!" Xion moans. "It smells _so_ good!"

"Smells the same as always."

"No, it doesn't!" Xion insists.

"Yeah," Roxas chimes in, "It smells the same to you because you work in a bakery. You never make loads of different things at home for it to smell like this."

"If it's that good you'll have to come and work with me so you can enjoy this all the time."

"But we wanna eat it…"

An alarm rings from the kitchen and Lea disappears once more. Roxas and Xion are left to stare at the door, stomachs rumbling.

Like typical teenagers they end up flitting about on social media until the doorbell finally rings and they have guests to distract them from what's going on in the kitchen. Not that the distraction lasts long as the first thing the three of them mention is the wonderful smell in the air. Immediately Roxas and Xion begins speculating what might be coming their way.

"Axel's still baking?" Sora asks as he walks towards the kitchen door, wanting to say hello to their host.

"You can't go in there," Roxas says, "He'll kick you out."

Sora gives a cheeky smile with a cock of his brow. _Let's see about that_. He slips into the kitchen as quietly as he can. "Hey, Axel."

The redhead jumps, having been engrossed in his icing detailing. "No, no, I'm almost done." He can't shove Sora out immediately lest he spoil his work.

"I just wanted to ask where Isa is. Didn't you tell him about today?" He'd half expected the blue haired man to be on guard duty the way Roxas and Xion had been complaining about not knowing what goodies were being made.

"Oh…" Lea is touched that Sora is asking after Isa. "He's upstairs, actually. I thought he might have come down when you guys arrived, but I guess it's just not his scene, you know." He wasn't going to force the other to sit around with these teenagers if he didn't want to.

"I see."

"Now you know, time for you to leave. I'll be ten minutes max." Luckily he didn't have to force Sora out of the door unlike _some_ people.

"_Well?"_ Roxas demands. "What's he making?"

"I don't know, a cake with icing?"

"No, he's making more than that. What else? Didn't you have a good look?"

"Not really."

Roxas groans. "You were in there for at least 30 seconds longer than either of us. Hey, Kairi, he likes you, why don't you go and see what you can see?"

"He said he'd be less than ten minutes," Sora points out.

"I think it's better to be surprised," Kairi says, "He's worked hard from the sound of it, so let's just wait."

Sora excuses himself, citing a bathroom break. Instead he knocks on the only closed door upstairs.

"Yes?" Isa's tone is cold, as if he doesn't want to be disturbed.

Sora opens the door and is greeted by the strange fusion that is Lea and Isa's room; one half very tidy, the other what Sora assumes is organised mess. When Isa looks up from his book his surprise at who's at his door is evident. Part of him wants to treat him like he would Roxas – tell him to get lost, and receive a snarky comment in return. But Sora is different, especially the way he's standing there with a goofy grin as he takes in the room.

"Aren't you coming down? Axel's almost finished baking."

"I'll pass. I'm sure there'll be leftovers – Lea always makes too much."

"You sure?" Sora asks. "Is it because we're here?"

"I'm not very sociable, as you might have gathered."

"Yeah, but this is _your_ home. I thought it might be different when you're somewhere familiar."

Isa shrugs. He doesn't want to offend Sora and call him an intrusion. "I guess not. They'll be wondering where you've got to."

"And they'll be wondering why you're not there."

"I already told them I don't do this sort of thing. I doubt Riku and Kairi will miss me."

Sora pouts, feeling he isn't going to win Isa over. "Axel will miss you."

"He sees me every day. I'm sure he can live without me for a few hours."

"Fine. Enjoy your book."

"Sora."

"Hm?"

"Thank you," Isa says, "For coming up here to ask me, and for trying to convince me."

"So, you're coming?"

"No, but I appreciate that you thought about me. All things considered, you should hate me."

"I find it hard to hold a grudge like that. Besides, Roxas told me you're the main reason he made it to the final battle – how you risked your position for him. And he says you make a good second dad."

Isa coughs, never having heard this from Roxas himself. "Did he?"

"Yeah, says you're the one that says no, while Axel says yes to everything. He said if it weren't for you the house would fall apart and they'd be living off cake."

"Maybe you can tell him to say these things to me himself some time."

Sora hums. "Maybe if you come downstairs I'll think about it."

**333**

Roxas waves a wad of paper in front of his face like a fan. "I need this done by tomorrow."

Isa frowns and narrows his eyes, and for a moment Roxas sees the ghost of Saïx staring at him. "And when did you get this?" Isa puts a hand out to receive the homework – it's physics. _Maths with rules._

"Er… Thursday?"

"So, you're saying you had Thursday night, and last night, and all of today to give this to me? And that's just assuming you intend to sit with me and allow me to teach you something." Isa sighs; he knows Roxas is _this_ kind of student. Very much like Lea used to be – he can see why they get on so well.

Roxas sits down opposite Isa, pulling out an exercise book. "You know, you used to send us out on missions without telling us until that morning exactly what it'd be. Never knew how long it'd take until I got there usually. Sucks, doesn't it?"

Isa says nothing. It's not like he could help how the Organization used to be run, but he isn't going to argue with Roxas of all people about that. "Isn't Xion doing this too?"

"Nah, she did it during lunch on Friday."

"And what's _that?_" Isa nods at the book Roxas has opened.

"Work I didn't finish in class. She said she'll check if we finished it, and if we don't we'll get detention." He picks up a pen. "So, yeah, I'd love for you to teach me all about the laws of motion, but I've got shit to do. Besides, that's only homework number 38 that you owe me."

"You've really been counting?"

Roxas taps his school planner. "It's not hard. And yeah, I'm going to milk you for every bit of homework I can."

The scratch of Roxas's pen fills the room, punctuated by the sound of Isa tapping numbers into a calculator. Within 15 minutes Roxas has polished off the work he really should have just knuckled down and done during the school day.

Just as Roxas closes his book, Isa looks up and asks, "Roxas, why do you always pull a face when you see Lea and I together?"

"Not _always_," Roxas says. "If it was always, I'd constantly look like this!" He pokes his tongue out and scrunches his face up.

"You know what I mean."

"Has Axel said something?"

"No."

"Oh, okay, good. For a moment I thought you were gonna tell me it made him feel bad or something."

"And if it makes me feel bad?" Isa asks.

Roxas shrugs. "Oh well." He still hadn't forgiven Isa for the way Saïx had treated Xion in the Organization, so yes, he deserved to feel like someone didn't like him for once.

"I just don't get it," Isa says. "You're amicable enough towards me the rest of the time…"

"Yeah, I'm not pulling the face at _you_, but at Axel. Well, both of you, but it's for Axel mainly."

Isa now realises this is one of their friendship quirks he hasn't quite figured out yet. Maybe he should have asked Lea about it first, but he'd always just assumed Roxas was directing it at him, maybe because he was 'stealing' Lea away as such. He wasn't going to press for more, but Roxas, on seeing Isa's faraway look, offers more.

"It's just weird, you know. To see Axel with feelings like that. It kinda weirds me out… I mean, it freaks me out even more because _you're_ the object of his affections and like, uh, reciprocating, is that the word?"

Isa nods, glad to see school's teaching him something.

"But like, I got to know Axel when he didn't have a heart. But now he does. And it makes me wonder if the person who was my best friend back then is the same person now."

"Don't you prefer him like this? I mean, you have a heart now too."

"I do, I really do. I think we get on a lot better now there's no awkward absence of feelings between us, and we can just say what we mean – and mean it! But still, you two… I never would have guessed back then." He can't help but laugh at the absurdity of Axel and Saïx being in love.

Isa doesn't want to tell Roxas more than he needs to. He doesn't need to mention that Roxas was the final crack in their already failing friendship – and he's sure Roxas doesn't want to hear it. The conversation's already deeper than Isa was expecting it to be.

"But I'm happy that Axel's happy. I thought I'd seen him at his happiest when the three of us moved in here, but after you two got together he just seemed to get even more happy - if that's possible? I remember the first meal with all four of us after New Year's and that's when I knew I had to accept you for sure as part of this. Never seen him more brimming with joy and positivity than that night."

Isa wants to give a sarcastic thanks for the acceptance, but he resists. "Yes, well, he was rather merry that night."

"But I'm still gonna pull a face at you two because it's strange. Can't really understand why you've gotta lay all over each other and kiss like that."

"You'll understand when you're older."

"I don't know… Kissing seems a bit gross to me."

Isa can't help but crack a wry smile. "I know, you've got a lot of other emotions to learn about first, but trust me, you'll get there. If Sora likes kissing, you almost certainly will."

Roxas frowns when he remembers that Isa is probably right, and that no-one had been able to miss his casual kisses with Riku and Kairi. "Well, as people have said, Sora and I are very different people."

Isa snorts. "Yes, Mr 'I am Sora.'"

"Shut up. Do my homework!" Roxas snatches up his book and walks out red-faced.


	14. A Taste For Adventure

"Roxas!" Xion yells from the foot of the stairs. "Roxas! It's gonna start in a minute!"

The blond almost stacks it as he flies down the stairs, gummiphone in one hand, a bag of sweets in the other. Lea wonders why Roxas felt the need to stash sweets in his room and whether there's more where that came from. Xion lightly taps Lea's shoulder, and Lea pat Isa's thigh.

"Come on, time for us to disappear."

The kids had essentially booked the TV and living room tonight. Pence had got the whole gang into a TV show, and after spending a month catching up on all the seasons so far, they were ready for the new season to begin tonight. Roxas and Xion hadn't stopped talking about it, and Lea couldn't help but smile, even if he had no idea what they were going on about. He was just happy that they could get so caught up in something like this, to the point where it seemed nothing else in the world mattered. This was the kind of peace they'd been fighting for after all.

Roxas and Xion jump into their vacated seats as Lea leads Isa upstairs.

"So, you didn't fancy watching with them?" Isa asks.

"Nah, I'd ask too many questions seeing as I'm what, four seasons behind?" Lea whirls on Isa and pins him to the door. "Besides, I've other plans."

Isa cocks a brow, but he doesn't push Lea away when he leans in for a kiss. The hand that trails down his body and gropes him through his trousers tells him exactly what 'other plans' Lea has.

"The kids are downstairs," Isa says when the break for breath.

"Yeah, and they're gonna be glued to the TV for the next hour. Better make the most of it."

"You're not exactly quiet, Lea."

"Oh, I can be. When needed." Lea give him a cheeky grin. "Why don't you allow me to demonstrate?"

Isa looks unsure, a small frown on his lips. And yet he doesn't stop Lea's hand from caressing him.

"Well, Isa? I'm telling you the only thing the kids will be listening to is that TV show."

There's a hum from Isa before he takes Lea's offending hand, and instead of pushing it away, Isa helps Lea to slip it beneath his waistband. "Alright, but nothing loud – no bed rocking, no skin slapping, and definitely no moaning."

"That's a shame. I love hearing you moan." Lea gets down on his knees. "But I know a way to eliminate the first two at least. It's up to you not to moan."

**333**

"What have you got there?" Isa asks when he walks past the kids and notices their attempt to hide whatever's in the box before them.

"Nothing for you," Roxas says.

Isa stops himself from rolling his eyes, and looks to Xion for a better answer.

"Sorry, they're not for sharing." She gives him an apologetic smile.

"It must be good," he speculates. "Just tell me what it is and I can get some for myself. Perhaps I'll even treat you two to more."

"No, it's err…" Roxas pulls the box closer to himself. "It's a secret!"

"It's mince pies!" Xion says.

"Xion!"

"What?" she asks with a cock of the head. "It's just mince pies…"

Roxas puts a hand to his face as Isa asks the inevitable question, "Where did you get mince pies at this time of year?"

Xion backpedals as she realises _why_ Roxas had said they shouldn't tell anyone about these; she still had a lot to learn about seasonal foods. "They're summer mince pies!"

"You're not a good liar, Xion." Isa turns his attention back to Roxas. "Do I need to get Lea involved?"

"It's just a couple of mince pies. Chill out." Roxas reluctantly holds the box out. "Have one if you insist."

"I don't care about the pies, I care about how you got them." Isa folds his arms. "You know, there's been a few other things I've noticed about the place, but I figured you'd somehow acquired them here in Twilight Town via someone else."

"Like what?" Roxas asks, wondering how much they hadn't got away with.

"I found some tea in the cupboard, everything about it from the box to the blend suggesting it came from the Land of Dragons. There's a flower out the front that looks nothing like anything I've seen here in Twilight Town, and I'll admit I don't know much about flowers, but it certainly looks suspicious. There's been a few more food items that have drawn my attention, but with Scrooge in the Bistro I didn't think much of it. Nor did I think much about that new dress Xion wore the other day, but now I think that kind of fashion is very much what people wore in Olympus Coliseum…"

"Alright, alright." Roxas holds up his hands. "Maybe we have been getting people to get things in for us."

Isa narrows his eyes. "You haven't been getting it yourselves?"

"_As if._"

Isa looks down at the box again, but he can't prove that someone else hasn't provided it. Were the kids getting the Moogles to do all this? It seemed like something they would be able to do. Or were there other people in town who could trade across worlds?

"Well, you enjoy those Christmas Town mince pies," Isa says as he continues on his way. He knows Roxas is lying, but he's not going to argue with him until he can prove it.

**3**

Lea idly twirls a pen in his hand as he thinks about the speech he's going to give. He doesn't want to play the parent role, but Isa's asked this of him, and he knows Roxas certainly won't stand for Isa berating him.

Isa waits patiently, knowing that this time he's got them. The pair had left, supposedly to go out with Hayner and the gang, but who should Isa bump into on his way back from work? A bunch of kids, sans the two that lived with him. A call to Lea later and it was clear something wasn't right. Now they sat at the table, patiently waiting their return to catch them in the act.

Roxas and Xion are slightly taken aback to see the pair sitting there, clearly waiting for them.

"S'up, guys," Lea says, trying to make things less awkward. "Had a good time?"

"Yeah," Roxas says as he tries to make for the stairs.

"Whatcha got there?" Lea asks, noting the bags they each held.

"Just some stuff we'd left lying about in the Usual Spot. We decided to have a clean-out."

Isa's raises his eyebrows, impressed that Roxas gives the excuse without a pause, as if he'd rehearsed it for this very eventuality.

Lea looks about to let them escape upstairs, but Isa clears his throat to say that it was time to get the truth out of them.

"Roxas…" Lea's tone is apologetic. "Would you show me what's in there?"

"You're really gonna do this, huh?" Roxas sighs. "You're a real bitch, Isa."

Isa shrugs, having expected some kind of reaction from Roxas. "You may not like to believe it, but I'm looking out for the two of you."

Roxas drops the bag and looks between the others before deciding to continue his way upstairs.

Xion watches him go, wondering whether she should follow.

"_Xion_." Isa motions to the chair in front of him, and she does as she's bidden.

Lea pulls the coat from the bag Roxas dropped and drapes it over a chair. "It's as you said."

"Xion, why are you two still out there using Corridors of Darkness?"

Xion shrugs innocently. "Sometimes we just wanna go to other worlds and have fun. And we don't have a gummi ship, so how else are we going to get there? No one's taught us how to fly around on keyblades."

"When the worlds are at peace we're not meant to go snooping around and messing up the Order." Lea feels like he's echoing Donald a little too much as he says it.

"We're not snooping! We're just enjoying what's out there. We don't use our keyblades for anything, we don't steal things… We're just like the other citizens."

He can't really argue with that, and he knows they mean no harm… "Look, Isa's just… _We_'re just worried about you both. I can see you're taking this seriously and wearing the coats to protect yourselves, but it's still dangerous to put yourself that close to the darkness. You don't want to lose your heart when you've just got one…"

"We don't go that often…"

"It's not a good habit." He doesn't really know what to say to deter her, especially because she does seem a lot like Kairi in a way that suggests she wouldn't fall to darkness. "You should ask Riku about it." He was _way_ better at telling people not to get too close to the darkness.

"Will you get a gummi ship?" Xion asks.

"I guess I'll have to think about that."

"Me and Roxas can save up!"

"Yeah, if you stop buying ice cream." Lea grins and makes his way upstairs to find Roxas. "Look, Rox, Isa wouldn't stop going on about this theory that you were going to other worlds, and it wasn't that long ago that I told him off for using Dark Corridors, so basically I have to tell you off too to make it fair."

"Yeah, well sometimes I just want to get out of town for real, you know?"

"Watch out, the Sora in you is showing," Lea jokes.

"Yeah, and unlike Sora I don't get to go out _there_ anymore."

"I thought you liked it here in Twilight Town?"

"I do," Roxas says with a nod. "But sometimes I just want to see something else. You know, like how we used to come here to get away from the World That Never Was? Sometimes I just need a change of scenery."

"I get that. Well, I've said my bit, and you can tell Isa that I told you I don't approve of your method of travel." Lea turns to leave. "Oh, and Xion said you've got to start saving up for a gummi ship."

Roxas begins to nod, but then realises what kind of investment that is. "She what?!" But Lea is already gone.


	15. Daring

Lea hears the door, but he feigns sleep, unwilling to wake up any earlier than necessary on a Sunday. But the sound of something being set down on his bedside table piques his curiosity enough to crack open an eye.

"Wuss this?" Lea asks as he eyes the mug sitting there.

"Mango and strawberry tea. Figured it's more fitting for the season."

He reaches up and feels the mug. "Maybe if it was iced." But the combination of flavours sounds enticing and he sits up before bringing the mug close and inhaling the aroma. "Smells delicious." He glances over at Isa and does a double-take. "Hey, you okay?"

Isa looks up from his book. "Yes."

"You went downstairs like that?" Lea runs his eyes down Isa's body, noting that he's not even wearing socks for once, only a pair of briefs.

"Yes? If Xion's not here I don't see the need to be so modest."

Lea doubts Xion would care. "I guess. Just odd to see you like that is all."

"It's a warm day. Apparently it will be the hottest day of the year so far." Isa cocks a brow at Lea. "Aren't you boiling under that duvet?"

"I'm quite at home in the heat, as you should know." Finally he takes a sip of his tea. "Oh, this is good. _And_ I bet it'd taste great iced."

"I'm not sure I'd have iced tea as a wake-up accompaniment, but I've no doubt you're right." Isa turns back to his book.

Lea watches as Isa lounges on his bed, book is one hand, leaning on his knee, mug in the other, sipping every time he turned a page.

"Can I take a photo of you?" Lea asks.

"Why?"

"You look like a model right now. Figured I should post it to Kingstagram – and you never know, I could land you a job."

Isa frowns. "I already have a job." He was an excellent personal trainer if you could hack his harsh regimes. "And no, I don't want a photo like that posted on the web."

"Why not? You could get paid just to flex a muscle or two."

"I'm not suited for that sort of limelight, and quite enjoy the low-profile life we have. Besides, this view is for your eyes only."

Lea can't help but smirk. "Yeah, you're right. And I can't imagine the kids would be thrilled seeing that."

"Precisely. Roxas would give me a death glare for days for allowing me to let you take the photo in the first place."

"But what if it's not this warm next week? I won't get to see that hot body again."

Isa still isn't used to Lea's compliments. "Lea…" He's flushing furiously. "You just have to ask."

"Can I come over there for a closer look?" he chances.

Isa shifts and pats the space he's made for Lea.

"You're so hot," Isa complains when Lea slides in next to him.

"Why, thank you, never thought I'd hear that from you."

Isa sighs. "Literally. How are you not feverish?" He puts a hand to Lea's forehead.

"I could ask you the same thing in winter when you're walking around without a coat." Lea places a hand on Isa's chest and asks, "Can I?"

"If you must." Isa realises there's little chance of reading now he's allowed Lea onto his bed, still he attempts to persist.

Lea's touches aren't anything too distracting, just gentle probing and stroking. Isa wonders if he's being treated like a cat when Lea settles for stroking whatever body hair he can find – the most easily accessible from his position being his snail trail. That's when it gets a bit more distracting, but he plays it cool and doesn't respond.

Eventually he has to say something. "Don't you want to do something else?"

The spark in Lea's eyes tells him he's taken it the wrong way.

"I mean something not with me," he says quickly. "I'm overheating with you next to me." A culmination of the weather, the body next to him, and Lea's actions.

"Then allow me to overheat you so much that you cool down."

A hand caresses his thigh suggestively.

"Lea, Roxas is next door." Xion may not be here, but Roxas didn't get an invite to Kairi's girls-only sleepover.

"He's probably still asleep."

"I can assure you he's not."

Lea can't help but chuckle. "Guess I didn't need to take that photo then. Did he enjoy the view?"

"I would say we shared an understanding stare as he sat there eating his cereal, also only in his underwear."

"Man, can't believe I missed that," Lea sighs. "But if Roxas were to go out…"

"Then I suppose I could spare you some time."

Lea makes a noise of disbelief. "Why thank you. You could just say you're not interested today."

"I'm always interested in you, Lea." Isa leans in for a kiss to show he's serious.

"Good." He gets up and stretches before he heads to the door.

Several steps down the hall he finds himself outside Roxas's room. "Yo, Rox, you up?" he calls softly, just in case he's gone back to sleep.

"Yeah, come in."

Lea slips in, and scratches his head, giving away that something awkward is coming. "You going out today?"

"In this heat? Think I'll sit here in front of the fan all day."

Lea regards the fan Roxas has set up, wondering when that appeared, because it certainly wasn't here last time he'd been in here. "Sounds great, eating up our electricity, but how about you go out and enjoy someone else's air-con?"

"Huh?" Roxas cocks his head slightly. "_Someone else's?"_

"Yeah, you know, go out to the mall on the other side of town, grab lunch in those cool halls, maybe an ice cream after…"

Roxas shrugs. "Sure, I guess. When did you want to go?"

"Oh, no, I just meant _you_." Lea runs a hand through his hair again.

"By myself?"

"Maybe you could convince one of the others to go?"

Roxas eyes his suspiciously. "Why aren't _you_ coming? It was your idea."

Lea sighs and his shoulders droop. "Look, Rox, I'm trying to pay you to leave the house is all. I know it's warm today, so I was just trying to give you some ideas…an incentive."

"And why would…" The penny drops, or at least Roxas thinks it does. "_Oh._" For a moment Roxas appears embarrassed, but he recovers quickly with a smirk. "Does Isa know you're asking me this?"

"He probably hasn't realised I'd just come out and ask you."

"Ask me again in front of him and I'll go out until dinner."

"Deal." Lea hatches a plan for how he hopes it'll play out, and Roxas names his price.

The boy can't help but laugh at it all. "Paying _me_ so you can…" Actually he doesn't want to think too hard about it. "I swear it's not meant to work like this."

Lea shakes his head. "Apparently that's how it is in our house."

"Man, me and Xion could make so much money…"

"Somehow I don't think Isa's going to let me get away with it too often."

Roxas grins, a plan forming. "Not if I put horny laxatives in his tea."

Lea loses it, doubling over with laughter, and it's infectious and Roxas is laughing too, even though he didn't think it was _that _funny. "I'm sorry." Lea takes a deep breath and another wave engulfs him. "_Horny laxatives!_ What are you talking about?"

"You know, those things that make people horny. There's a fancy science name for them…"

"An aphrodisiac?"

"Yeah, something like that."

Lea snorts again. "_Laxative_."

"What? Laxatives make you suddenly shit, and aphrodi-whatevers make you suddenly horny, right?"

Lea shrugs. "Supposedly. Never given it a go." He ponders the idea briefly before realising now's not the time. "And I don't wanna hear that you've been off trying whatever you've read on the internet. And no putting shit in Isa's tea without consulting Even first."

Roxas looks horrified for a moment. "Are you saying I should ask _Even _to test it first?"

Lea's face mirrors Roxas's. "Rox, I think we went too deep in this conversation. We should just leave it before we both have mental images we can't get rid of."

Roxas nods. "Yep, you're right. I gotta get ready anyway."

Isa cocks a brow when he walks back in. "What were you two laughing about?"

"Just some video."

"About laxatives?"

Lea's heart skips a beat, and he realises that actually the walls weren't as thick as he thought, and maybe Isa was right to insist Roxas shouldn't be next door when things got steamy.

"Yeah. A very mean prank. I didn't think shit jokes were you're kind of thing…" Lea says it as if he's about to offer to show the non-existent video.

"No, they're not." His bluff pays off. "But you never did quite out-grow your 15 year-old sense of humour."

_Ouch._ He wants to let it slide, accept the diss and bury the lie, but if he doesn't reply he'll raise suspicion. "Be careful, they'll start calling you grandad soon."

Roxas comes downstairs while Lea and Isa are eating a late brunch.

"Are you going out?" Isa asks before either of the other two can say anything.

"Uh, I…" Roxas fumbles. This wasn't how the plan was going to go. "No."

Isa cocks a brow at the obvious lie. "Why are you dressed then? It's too hot for that many clothes indoors." Neither Roxas nor Lea get their shit together in time before Isa continues. "You used the last of the milk earlier, I was just going to ask you to get some more. _If_ you are going out."

"Axel's the one that asked me to go out," Roxas says, deciding he had to go with the situation he'd landed in.

"Then I don't feel so bad asking you to pick up some milk."

Roxas turns to Lea. "I want 100 for lunch, 20 for an ice cream, 30 for the train fare, 10 for the milk, and an extra 50 because it's hot and I'd rather be indoors."

Lea scrunches up his face as he tries to correctly recall those numbers and add them together.

"210," Isa tells him as Lea begins to fish in his wallet. "And what are you after so badly that you're paying Roxas to go out against his will?"

Lea hands Roxas the final 10 munny and turns to give Isa a smile and raises his eyebrows up and down.

Isa's brows furrow as he tries to work out what Lea is trying to convey, and then he frowns when he thinks he knows. "_Lea_." He looks up at Roxas who is grinning.

"Come on, Isa, it's not like Roxas doesn't know –" A hand stops him from saying anything else.

Isa sits there slowly working his way to a tomato-like complexion. "Maybe Roxas should just stay home where it's nice and cool. _Seeing as there's no reason for him to go out._"

"Nah," Roxas says, patting his pocket. "I could make loads of munny like this."

"It's only worth paying him if you get what you want though, isn't it, Lea?" Isa's face tells him this could be a waste of time and money, but he's sure Roxas is lapping up every minute.

"Eh, it was worth a try. Rox, you enjoy yourself with your hard-earned cash."

Roxas laughs. "I will. And, Isa, do me a favour and lighten up. Like, I don't care really, but I don't want to waste my time going out by myself just to come home and hear you didn't fuck." Roxas frowns and shakes his head. "I mean, I don't want to hear whether you do – _whatever_ you do – but like, make it worth my time at least."

Isa can't look either of them in the eye at this point. He really wants Roxas to shut up and not say things so plainly like that ever again.

"Anyway, this is really awkward and now I'm actually quite looking forward to leaving the house, so I'm just going to go. Have fun." He turns and makes a swift exit.

A minute later Lea's phone pings and a series of laughing emojis arrive from Roxas.

"Well, you heard the man," Lea proclaims. "You gotta fuck me or he'll be disappointed."

"He said he didn't want to know if we do anything."

"He doesn't _want_ to," Lea stresses the word, "but he does. It'll be a thumbs up-down confirmation and we won't mention it again."

"And if I _disappoint_ him?"

Lea shrugs. "More homework? Some unforeseen prank? Who knows?" He places a hand on Isa's thigh under the table. "But let's not throw this opportunity, eh?"


	16. Where Can You Find Courage?

Isa stares at the wall adorned in photos and other things - the winner stick, train tickets, a flyer advertising the Struggle tournament. He remembers his first day in this house and how bare the wall had been. Now it's packed full - some photos have moved from their original positions to make room for more.

There's photos of everyone – Roxas and Lea in shades on the clock tower, Xion expertly holding four ice creams, Roxas and Xion with wide eyes when the largest sundae munny can buy is placed in front of them, Roxas and Hayner posing with their struggle bats… It's full of memories. There's even a few photos of him now – all four of them on the clock tower, taken with a selfie stick, he remembers fondly. He's smiling in that one. There are a few where he doesn't look as happy, and he thinks it's because he doesn't like photos much, but maybe it's because he didn't feel like he had a place in these kind of photos. There's one of him and Lea, and Lea's wearing the cheesiest grin he can muster while Isa looks embarrassed by the sudden selfie.

He realises he hasn't looked at this wall properly in a while because there are photos he hasn't noticed before. One's a selfie of Xion, but she's angled it to make sure she's caught him in the background petting a dog. There's a couple from when Sora and co came to visit; the one that stands out is of Roxas and Sora – it's rare to capture a genuine smile like that from Roxas. Hiding a few photos up is one of him asleep on the sofa with Lea dozing on his chest – the kids must have put that up to embarrass him. He wonders how long it's been up there.

Right at the very top is a photo of Lea kissing his cheek, but he's not shying away from it, rather he looks happy. When was this taken? It looks like it was taken at the Bistro, and he guesses it was one of their dinner dates.

Hands slip around his waist. "Whatcha doing?"

"Nothing. Just thinking about how much I love my family."

"That's very sweet of you." Lea kisses his neck. "Not often you admit things like that."

The sound of the kettle boiling draws Isa away and Lea absentmindedly follows

"Tea, coffee?" Isa asks as he pours water into his mug.

"No, I'm good."

"Hot chocolate perhaps?"

Lea refuses again, which Isa finds odd; Lea's the kind of person who accepts a drink and then leaves it to go cold if he didn't really want it.

He follows Isa back into the living room and runs a hand through his hair. _Oh,_ so he _is_ nervous about this. "Actually, I needed to tell you about something…"

**333**

Isa's pout is really cute, Lea thinks, but it's been a feature all day which makes him sad. He invites himself into Isa's bed, wrapping his arms around his lover. Isa doesn't push him away which is good, but he doesn't move to accept Lea's embrace either. Lea waits patiently, wondering what Isa's thinking about right now, and whether he should leave and retreat to his side of the room, and wait for Isa to come to him.

"Is this okay?" he whispers. There's a reason they still have single beds after all; Isa values his personal space above a great deal of things. Sometimes Lea's surprised Isa's stuck it out in the same room as him for so long. He guesses it's a sign that Isa really does love him.

Suddenly Isa turns and pulls Lea to him, burying his face in that shock of red hair. "Why did you have to be a keyblade wielder?"

"I dunno. Guess when you hang around them for too long it becomes contagious. Did you want one, Isa?"

"No. I don't want any keyblades. I just want you…to stay here with me." Lea feels Isa's breath on his cheek. "I even want Roxas and Xion to stay too. I'm selfish like that."

"I'm gonna tell them that!"

"Good. I don't want any of you to leave." He captures Lea's lips in a kiss.

"I don't want to leave you either, but I can't say no."

"Yes, you can."

Lea runs a hand through Isa's hair. "If Sora wants my help, I'm gonna help him. That boy's done so much for me I'm not gonna say no. Don't worry, I'll hurry back."

"You better." He kisses Lea again.

"Maybe you can come along? Donald and Goofy aren't wielders, but you bet they'll be there. You'd be excellent back-up." Lea caresses Isa's arm.

"I wasn't invited. It sounded like a very keyblade-centric problem. Besides, if anything does happen to you, I better be waiting elsewhere to come in and save you."

Lea hums. "You know, I think I'd like to be the one being saved for once. It'd be pretty romantic for you to swoop in and save me from dying, don't you think?"

"God I hope you're not planning to get into a position where you're about to die."

Lea chuckles, "Yeah, maybe not that extreme. I'll be thinking of you, whether I'm in need or not."

"I'm not going to stop thinking about you until you return. This'll be the first time I've been without you since I came here."

"Damn, so it is. Maybe we should have been having sleepovers with other people like the kids did."

"Ah yes, like staying over with Even and Ienzo? I think not." Isa rolls his eyes.

"They're friends, right? What about Terra? You seemed to get along with him last time he was round."

"Lea, we're _both_ friends with these people. It doesn't make sense for one of us to stay and not the other. Besides, I never had a night when I wished you weren't here, or I was elsewhere."

Lea smiles. "Me neither."

A knock on the door interrupts Isa's next sappy line, and Lea calls for them to come in. Xion stares at Lea's empty bed before peering around the door to see them both on Isa's. "We're going to see Hayner and the gang."

"Don't be out too late," Lea says. "Wanna be fresh as daisies tomorrow."

Roxas's face appears and he pulls his usual face of mock disgust when he sees Lea curled up with Isa. "We'll be back by 9." He grins at Lea. "No earlier than 8 though."

"Right, good to know." He waves them off, and the sound of Xion asking Roxas about his sudden sense of timing can be heard disappearing down the stairs. "Isa, you okay?"

Isa is bright red and feeling as if he might combust. "Did you tell him?"

"Huh? Tell him what?"

"Why else is he telling you he won't be home earlier than 8?! He thinks we're…" He'd been planning to do _something_ with Lea tonight whether the kids were in or not, but the fact Roxas _knew_ was just mortifying.

"Come on, Isa. Roxas goes to _school_ now. He's not as dense as he used to be."

Isa winces as memories of their time at school floods back. "Going to school was a mistake."

"Look, at least he's not right next door, eh?" Lea pats the wall.

"I suppose." Isa moves closer to Lea. "After all, I was hoping to hear you moan my name."

"Oh good, so was I." Lea closes the gap so they're lying there forehead-to-forehead. "I want you to fuck me like…like it's the last time."

"I certainly hope not."

Lea revises his words. "Like it's the last time for a while."

"Accurate. Perhaps not your best line to excite me, but I'm already willing to do whatever you want as a send-off."

"Really?" Lea suddenly pauses to think of what _else_ he could possibly ask for and get away with tonight.

"Pretty much. Although I'm more than happy to pound you into the mattress, I'm not sure that's the best choice if you want to be, what was it? 'Fresh as daises.'"

Lea slips a hand under the hem of Isa's shirt, not willing to waste time. "Yeah, the _kids_ should be. _Me?_ Since when did I ever turn up to anything with a good night's sleep and not a single ache or pain?"

Isa runs a hand down Lea's spine. "Maybe if you hadn't fallen into such bad slouching habits you'd feel better in the mornings."

"I thought you preferred being the taller one."

"Not at the cost of your back!" Isa sighs and wonders how he ever fell in love with this idiot. Then a soft smile spreads over his lips; _because he's _my_ idiot._

Lea grins and works to unbutton Isa's trousers so he can slip a hand in.

"Impatient?" Isa asks with a smirk as he begins to manoeuvre them upright so he can get Lea's clothes off easier.

"If we go too slowly the kids will be back before we know it." Lea leans in to kiss him, distracting Isa from the buttons he's trying to undo.

"Oh? Nothing to do with how horny you are for me?"

Lea lifts Isa's top off and slings it to the floor. "How do you always see through my excuses?"

For all Lea's impatience, he proceeds to spend a good minute caressing Isa's chest. He can never get enough of those pecs that have enough muscle to cup in his hands. With Lea distracted, Isa can get back to the business of undressing him.

When there's nothing left to remove from this position Lea gets up and awkwardly pulls off his skinny jeans as he collects a few things from his drawer. Isa wants to comment on how comedic he looks, but he enjoys the fact Lea wears such tight clothing.

He slips off his own pants before Lea re-joins him, kissing him as he presses the retrieved items into his hands before laying back on the bed. Lea runs a hand up his own body, and Isa pauses in his advances as he briefly believes Lea's about to treat him to a show. His fantasies are shattered when Lea flips over, ass in the air.

"You don't even want to look at me?" Isa asks as he douses his fingers in lube.

"I'm not going to stop looking at you after." Lea grunts as a finger enters him. "But I want you balls deep in me, babe."

Isa goes for a second finger quicker than usual. He did say he'd do what Lea wanted tonight… Even though he could understand what Lea wanted, it was among his least favourite positions with the man he loved more than anything. He gets on his knees, accepting this is Lea's parting wish, and slowly grinds his dick between Lea's ass cheeks. Beneath him Lea gets comfy, grabbing a pillow to lean into.

Isa slaps the unopened condom against Lea's ass. "You're not even going to offer to put this on?"

Lea gets up and pays Isa the attention he craves. While one hand fondles him, the other brings the packet to his lips, tearing it open with his teeth, eyes on Isa the whole time. He feels like he's melting under that gaze because damn was that pretty hot and he has to try hard not to moan when Lea slides it down his length. Then Lea leans in close, moving blue hair out of the way so he can kiss Isa's jaw and then his neck. He can feel Lea sucking at the skin, and then he realises the intention.

"Lea, we're not teenagers." Isa puts his hands on the other's shoulders, but doesn't push him away. He only says it because that's what he _would_ say, but deep down he'd quite enjoy being marked by Lea, even if it's only temporary. His fingers trace the faint scar that he left many months ago now…

Before he leaves a mark, Lea pulls back with a smile, only to find Isa looks disappointed. "Huh?"

"Finish the job," Isa says with a hint of a blush.

He doesn't need to be told twice as he resumes where he'd left off. The sensation of Lea's lips against his neck makes his desire grow, and when Lea lets go he finds himself pushing the redhead down. His nails gently graze the back presented to him before he takes hold of Lea's hips and guides his cock inside. His body wants him to ram into Lea, but he takes it slow, waiting for Lea to relax into the motion.

When Lea gives him the go-ahead, he lets loose all his frustrations about the fact Lea's leaving. Their pants are punctuated by the sound of skin against skin. Isa's thrusts are powerful and Lea grips the pillow tightly as he tries to roll his hips back in time with Isa's rhythm. Everything is almost perfect, except for the burning desire to stroke himself – Isa may have touched him a few times, but nothing enough to sate him. A hand travels back to take hold of one of the hands gently caressing his ass, and immediately Isa squeezes it.

"Lea?" It's breathless and ragged and it sets him on fire.

He leads Isa's hand round as an answer, and lets out a rather embarrassing moan when Isa treats him to a few firm pumps. Once the unbearable desire becomes manageable he lets Isa off the hook, hoping he'll be able to score a hands-free orgasm today – Isa's rather good at pleasing him. He wonders whether it's a natural talent or if Isa's perfectionism has forced him to make meticulous notes on the subject. If it's the latter, Lea prays the notes are all mental.

Isa slows so he can focus on thrusting as deep as possible, listening to the way Lea's breathing changes until he hits the best spot. He triple checks when he thinks he's found it, but he could tell from the second thrust by the way Lea moaned into the pillow that he was right. Then he speeds up again, turning Lea into a panting mess beneath him.

"Oh, Isa…" Lea moans, his mutterings devolving into nonsensical sentence fragments that are meant to praise him. Mostly though, Isa just enjoys hearing his name called out in a voice dripping with desire.

He realises a bit too late that Lea's about to make a mess of his sheets when he hears the guttural moan that signifies his peak. He manages to catch little of Lea's seed in his hand, sighing as he wipes it on Lea's ass. Still, he doesn't want to spoil things, so he continues to push into Lea until the redhead motions for him to stop.

"I was sure you were gonna come before me," Lea says, face still half buried in the pillow. "I'm glad you didn't though… That was great."

Isa leans in so he can run a hand through Lea's hair. "Good. I was too focused on making sure you enjoyed it…"

"Sorry about the mess." Isa's attempt to save his sheets hadn't gone unnoticed.

"I'm sure you're about to make it up to me."

Lea finds the strength to move into a better position, ending up with an arm on Isa's thigh as he leans over to relieve him of the condom. He takes Isa's cock in his mouth and recoils.

"Mmm, latex," Lea jokes. He takes it slower this time, with a lick up the underside of the shaft, followed by gently sucking on the head.

Isa relaxes back into the pillows, watching as Lea settles for lazily sucking him off so he doesn't have to move much. It's slow and tantalising, and he feels like he's on cloud nine, wishing it'd never end. And then it's slow and torturous, and if Lea doesn't go faster he's going to make him.

"_Lea._" The name comes out almost as a hiss. It's funny how one syllable can convey so much – both begging and warning rolled into one.

The redhead looks up at Isa as he pulls back slightly so Isa can watch the way his tongue swirls around the tip. Now he's spent, he could do this all day. But he won't, because he can see the pleading in Isa's eyes, the fact they're on limited time mostly forgotten. Lea readjusts his position so he can best serve Isa. He's an expert at deep-throating, and he won't disappoint tonight. Isa's never asked how Lea discovered his talent, he's just glad to enjoy it.

It's over before he knows it, calling Lea's name loudly as he releases. Moments later he feels Lea's weight on him and opens his eyes to see the redhead laying on top of him, gazing with a gentle expression.

"Time to not stop looking at you, my beautiful Isa."

Isa can't help the smile tugging at his lips, and he reaches up to run a hand through Lea's hair. "Shower first."

"Round two?"

"God, no. Just a simple shower so I can snuggle up to a clean you."

Isa gets what he wants, this time curled up in Lea's bed. He thinks about how eye contact like this used to be difficult as he stares into green eyes, but now he can't get enough of it. Over and over he tells Lea how much he loves him, more than any other day in the past, perhaps to make up for all the days he'll miss in the future. It's sweet and Lea loves hearing Isa talk so much, but it's so out of character that he starts to feel a little concerned.

"I'm going to miss you." Isa is at the point where he's saying everything that comes to mind, no filter for once.

"I'll be back before you know it."

"The days are going to feel like weeks."

"I'll have a phone."

"I shouldn't be distracting you from important keyblade wielder duties…"

Lea shakes his head. "If you need me, I'll be there for you." He puts a finger to Isa's lips to stop him saying something about not pulling him away from whatever mission lies ahead. "Seriously. I can be back in a minute if you need me."

Isa arches a brow, reads Lea's expression, and understands. "I thought you didn't _approve_ of that."

Lea shrugs one shoulder. "Don't tell the kids I'm taking it, or they'll grab theirs too." His eyes flick to the bag he's packed for the journey, most of the contents is his old coat, folded as small as he could make it.

"You don't need to take it for me. Better to travel light."

"Nah, I feel better for taking it. You never know when you'll need something like that. I've spent too many years darting into Dark Corridors after all. Bad habit of mine when things get dire. Can't guarantee I've outgrown it seeing as we've been leading a peaceful life this last year."

They hear the sound of the door downstairs.

"Good timing," Lea says as he glances up at the clock. "I hope they had a good time."

They listen to the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs and notice how they stop outside their room. Lea's face cracks into a smirk as he wonders what course of action to take.

The opportunity is too good, he can't help but grab it with both hands. He sits up to get more air into his lungs before he yells, "OH, ISA!"

Isa is mortified for the second time that evening – an unfortunate side effect of the plan. "Lea! What are you -?!"

"YES, RIGH-!"

Isa clamps a hand over Lea's mouth, but this only makes it worse as Lea continues to fake-moan, and the muffled noise only adds to the realism. He quickly releases Lea who can't help but laugh.

"IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!" Isa shouts at the door. "I'm going to kill you," he mutters to Lea.

"What happened to loving me more than anything in the world?" Lea manages to ask while he tries to control his laughter in order to continue the charade.

"Fine. I'm going to become a Nobody again just so I can't feel such shambolic embarrassment like this again." He thinks it says a lot about his progress that he can make a joke like this now. He makes for the door.

"Isa! No, Isa!" Lea chucks a blanket at him. "Don't flash the kids, please." As funny as it would have been for Isa to open the door in the buff, _he_ was the one who wouldn't hear the end of it from Roxas and Xion in the coming days.

Isa quickly wraps the blanket around his waist, now even more humiliated that he hadn't realised how much worse he'd been about to make this for himself. He pulls open the door to find the pair of them giggling away. Isa looks between them and Lea, a scowl forming on his face.

"Did you set this up?"

"No." Lea's not convinced his honesty is showing right now.

His lips form a thin line as he wonders what to say next. _This isn't funny!_ "Stop laughing!"

That only makes them burst into fresh peals of laughter. Xion's the first one to regain some sanity, gently patting his arm. "Don't act so serious. We know Axel was only joking."

"Yeah, but your reaction really makes it!" Roxas snorts.

Isa huffs and returns to face-plant on the bed. "Anyway. I'm going to bed."

"I think you broke him," Xion says.

Lea pats Isa's back. "He'll be fine. Did you guys have a good time?"

"Yeah!" they both chorus. "I'll miss hanging out with them."

Lea smiles, on one hand he's sad that they'll be parted from their friends, but on the other he's happy that they're close enough for Xion to say something like that. "Well, goodnight, you two. Sleep tight!"

"You too!" Xion adds, "And you, Isa!"

Roxas goes to pull the door shut, giving Lea a questioning thumbs up as he does so. Lea returns it with a nod, just a simple confirmation that they won't be making any noise tonight.

Lea rubs Isa's back. "You okay?" He gets a muffled affirmative hum. "Bed time?"

Isa rolls over. "It's too early."

"You know me, ready for bed whenever." He looks down to see the pout on Isa's face.

"The earlier we go to bed, the sooner I'll wake up and you'll leave." Isa takes Lea's hand. "Come downstairs and have a drink with me. I've got a bottle of that good red in."

"Just one. And I hope you're not planning to use that as a coping mechanism."

Isa gets up and grabs a light dressing gown. "I don't think I can stand to use ice cream as a treat while you're away. So, back to the old faithful."

Lea hums. "_That_ doesn't sound healthy. Maybe you should go and stay with Even and that lot."

"And be a live-in test subject? I think not." Isa leads the way downstairs. "I'll be fine. I have to be here when you return…"

The evening passes too quickly for Isa. He wants to sit there with Lea all night. As he said, Lea stops at one glass, but he sits while Isa has a second in an attempt to draw out the night. Roxas and Xion come down to say goodnight, but they don't hang around. Isa wonders if it's to give them space, or because they know they get to spend time with each other and Lea once they leave tomorrow. Eventually Lea calls it a night, and Isa is forced to take the final sip of wine. He's glad that the night is cool enough that he can spend it glued to Lea's side without either of them needing to pull away.


	17. Inside Your Heart!

He wakes up later than the others, likely because he was awake late savouring every second he had while Lea was still there. Everyone seems to be rushing about getting ready, eating breakfast, and making sure they look good for their first proper outing as a keyblade wielding trio.

"You're wearing the coat?" Lea asks when Xion comes downstairs, proclaiming she's ready to go.

She cocks her head. "Yes? I'm not going to go out fighting in my everyday clothes."

Roxas looks down at his own attire, not having thought about it much, and then to Lea's everyday wear. "Axel, are we underdressed?"

"No, uh… I mean… Look, when we get there Yen Sid will kit us out properly, so it doesn't matter how we turn up. But, uh…"

"The coat reminds everybody of the darkness?" Xion guesses.

Lea shrugs. "You know, I don't know. Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick. People were just so relieved when I wore something else, maybe I'm just pushing that onto you and _urgh_, don't worry, Xion, wear what you want! Who knows, maybe they'll say 'good choice,' or something."

"Should I take mine too?" Roxas asks. "Are you taking yours, Axel?"

There's a pause that's too long before Lea says, "No."

Roxas narrows his eyes and gets up. "I'm not going to be the only idiot without a super cool darkness-reflecting coat in my bag." He wants to ask why Axel's taking it, but that's a question for later. He's trying to keep the atmosphere light while he still can – no doubt whatever Yen Sid has to tell them will cast shadows over what they've been regarding as a fun adventure.

Time seems to speed up for Isa, and before he knows it they're loading their bags into the recently borrowed gummi ship and saying their goodbyes. He gets a wave from Roxas, and a hug from Xion with a sweet smile. Lea tries to get away with a quick hug and kiss, and Isa wonders if it's really as painful for him too. Isa doesn't let him get away so quickly, pulling him back for a longer, deeper kiss – one that earns a groan from Roxas. And then he's holding Lea as long as he can, whispering how much he's going to miss him.

"Jeez, break it up already!" Roxas tries to pull Lea away, but then decides wedging himself between them is far more effective. "Isa, chill out, he's going with _me_. I'll bring him back safe."

Isa wipes the tears from his eyes and he looks down at Roxas's serious expression. The boy had given him a good beating on more than one occasion, so who better to entrust Lea to? He nods, and Roxas smiles before giving him a rare pat on the arm before making sure Lea makes it to the gummi ship without getting dragged back.

Lea pilots, so he gets one last wave before getting down to business. Xion presses her face against the glass as they soar higher into the air, waving until neither of them can make the other out anymore. Isa stands on the doorstep until the ship blips out of Twilight Town and into the Ocean Between.

He feels tears pricking at his eyes and quickly turns to go inside. Wiping his eyes he lets out a sigh before taking a deep breath and drawing himself up. This is not the time for getting emotional, he tells himself – they've only _just_ left. Luckily he hasn't left himself without purpose; there is a list of tasks to achieve now they're gone. He starts by stripping his bed of last night's soiled sheets, knowing he must change them because the idea of sleeping in Lea's bed without him being there makes his heart ache.

He fills the whole day with housework, and it's bittersweet – no one's here to mess it up, but neither is anyone here to enjoy the clean house with him. It was a good idea though, he decides as he reclines on the sofa feeling exhausted, hoping he'll sleep easily tonight. He picks up the latest novel he'd been reading, for once secure in the knowledge he won't be disturbed, and for the first time wishing that wasn't the case.

Isa wakes when he rolls off the sofa and one knee makes contact with the table. He curses and looks up to see the clock illuminated by the moonlight, showing it's just after 1 in the morning. It's not the first time he's fallen asleep reading, but usually he can count on Lea to wake him before going to bed, or for the sound of the kids going to the kitchen to disturb him. The trudge upstairs is a sad one, and it takes him a long time to resettle after climbing into bed.

The morning is the hardest. The empty house takes him back to his first weeks here, when he woke up late, after everyone had left for work and school. Except today there's none of the evidence they used to leave behind. He actually misses Roxas's half-eaten bowl of cereal that he guessed meant Roxas got up too late to finish it. He's not hungry, but he forces himself to have some toast, realising there's no way he's going to get through this whole loaf by himself.

The privacy of the shower is what gets him. Or maybe it's the thought that the water can hide the tears. Both notions are ridiculous, because no one's here to hear or see him anyway. Having emotions is hard, and right now he wishes he didn't have them. Why is he even crying anyway? Loneliness? It's not even been 24 hours! But he hasn't been sad like this in a long time. It's a different kind of sadness to the one he experienced after recompletion… This sadness comes from having such strong bonds with friends and now their absence leaves an empty place in his chest. He's forgotten what it's like to deal with something this, that's why he cries, he realises. Too many emotions he can't process, so they'll just pour from his eyes instead.

It makes his head hurt to try and stop it and keep it in, so he just lets it run its course until there's no tears left to cry. And he feels much better for it, he finds when he steps out of the shower. Emotions sure were strange, but he supposes he can't feel positive ones _all_ the time. He returns to his room and checks his gummiphone out of habit – he doesn't have any clients on a Sunday, but it's prime time for people booking for the following week. His heart skips a beat when he sees he has a missed call from Lea, and he's left a message. If only he hadn't spent so long in the shower he might not have missed it…

"Good morning, Isa!" Lea's face beams at him from the screen. Isa doesn't recognise the room in Yen Sid's tower, but he assumes that's where he's calling from. "At least, I assume it's morning. Pretty sure these places are the same time zone…" Lea shakes his head. "Hope you're doing okay. We're all ready to go here, gonna head out soon. I love you."

"Urgh." Roxas can be heard in the background, and it makes Isa chuckle.

"You wanna say hi?" Lea turns the phone around to Roxas who is fixing his hair. He rolls his eyes and gives the phone a wave.

"Xion's rooming with Kairi, otherwise she'd say hi too. Well, have a good day!" Lea smiles as he cuts the video off.

Isa smiles down at his phone for a while after the video finishes before saving it so he can watch it again and again. He wants to try and call Lea back, but he figures they might be busy going wherever they're going by now.

Instead he watches the message a few more times, memorizing it. This is what will get him through the day. He only hopes Lea gives him another one soon. He opens Kingstagram to see selfies some of the kids posted overnight. Sora has made sure to get photos of everyone off on the adventure with him, and looking at their smiles no one would guess they were off to save the world from whatever darkness is plaguing it.

He likes every one of the photos, even the ones of Donald and Goofy who he hasn't yet made proper amends with. And as he looks at them all he thinks that everything will be just fine, just as things always turn out when Sora's involved. His family are in good hands.

A/N: Thanks for reading! This was a real trainwreck to write bc I didn't write it chronologically and so it was a real pain to edit. I just hope I've managed to splice it back together in such a way that that wasn't obvious.


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